Fancy job titles

[Ilovebountybars]

Can anyone name some fancy job titles and what that job really is? I recently learnt that a financial consultant just means a sales person flogging insurance but the job title makes it sound really well paid and prestigious.

Can anyone name any more?

Life coach: unemployed

I was once offered 'Chief inspirer' 🤣.
Really just a normal office job. Mostly a PowerPoint monkey.

Chief impact officer 😉

I saw a great job title in an ad the other day which was "head of uncertainty". I have no idea what it does but it sounds like it ought to be in the ministry of magic not the department for transport.

Care Navigator = GP Receptionist

Business Support Assistant = Admin

This was said as a joke but when I was at school a friend would describe himself as a "dairy product replenishment engineer" meaning he stacked shelves in the refrigerated department of the local supermarket.

My mum used to refer to herself as domestic engineer

She was a housewife

Transformation Manager = someone who finds a way of getting rid of people.

I mean I don't think that what financial consultant always means op. I think actual financial consultants do exist!

I once saw a job for a sandwich maker in subway advertised as a sandwich artist!

I know someone who is 'Head of Better' in a big government organisation...sounds like something out of W1A!

'Head of Better' isn't a job title I could take seriously tbh 😆

Influencer = fame hungry scrounger

Waste relocation specialist = bin man

"oh really? I'm head of best" walks away smuggly

Head of Butter I’d passively call them in emails

Tbf we have lots of “impact” related job titles but we hand out billions of pounds of public money so it’s important to measure the results of doing so.

Titles with ‘impact’ and ‘change’ in them instantly make me roll my eyes.

I recently heard of the son of a friend who had a job as a ‘Social media architect’ (Mate, you’re a gormless kid in an entry level job, you’re not an architect of anything, come the fuck on!)

Also the stupid senior title BS. Vice President when about half the organisation are VPs. I’m a Senior X Manager. We have also gave an Executive X Manager and a Director of X. External orgs are always copying all of us into emails as nobody knows who is more senior (it’s not me ).

I'm a project support officer. Nobody really understands my job 😂

I do. I spend about 1/3 of my life interviewing them. Please stay!

I like to think of myself as a Legal Compliance Officer. I actually just check things aren't out of date in a supermarket to keep us legally compliant. Official title: Supermarket Assistant. So yes, my imaginary title sounds better!

@Ibiza haha don't worry! I really enjoy it!

Customer success director = shit project manager (in my bitter experience)

Head of Strategy = fancy PowerPoint monkey

When I worked in IT for a soft drink manufacturer. Based all across the country, all hands team meetings were often held centrally around B'ham/West Midlands. Being quite young, we would often go out on the town in expenses afterwards.

Where soft drinks are collectively known as 'pop'.

The logistics guys would try and chat up girls in clubs and bars, using the line 'I'm involved in the management of a pop group'.

Not exactly a job title, but close enough for jazz