What would your ideal holiday cottage have?

[Merryoldgoat]

I’m on holiday in a very nice cottage but it’s one of those where I feel they’ve skimped a bit of functionality.

Its not a budget cottage but not the height of luxury and I feel a few small things would’ve made a massive difference.

Proper bath sheets - towels are the size of postage stamps

Thick curtains. Once it’s day they offer zero protection from the light.

Decent shower - it’s like a trickle and makes washing the beach off really hard.

Easy to use cooker/hob - we’ve got an induction hob here - no manuals and not all the pans work without putting a metal thing on the hot plate first.

What do you think is a must in a holiday cottage? I’m in a grump because I’ve injured myself. The cottage is very nice, I’m just missing.

But that's the price of doing business. You have to accept a certain amount of damages, wear and tear. Same with pubs and cafes who have to accept broken glasses and crockery.

Re recycling, you have to remember guests aren't used to your collection dates nor your local councils' collection/sorting arrangements. I'd say it's definitely more something for the cleaners to sort out at changeover if the guests haven't done it mid week. We always try, but sometimes instructions aren't clear and it's easy to miss the collection day. The easier the owner makes it, the more likely the guest will do it.

A couple of holiday cottages we've stayed in have actually had a breakages book and they ask guests to make a note of anything that's been broken or that isn't working so that the housekeeping people can repair/replace or report for the owners/agents to sort out. Thought that's a really good idea - the cleaners don't have to check everything out and reduces the risk of the next guest suffering a shortage of things or something being broken.

We recently stayed in a house which was lovely and had everything we needed (although "plenty of parking on the street" was a bit of a stretch).

BUT it was very obviously used as the owners' own holiday home and every wall was covered with family photos. I actually felt like we were intruding.

So please don't do that.

Of course, we always expect a certain level of breakages/damages, but quite a lot of them have gone well beyond how you would expect guests to treat a property. Would they behave like that in their own houses? Of course not, but every time one of these threads comes up on MN, people basically expect 5* hotel service in a self catering house. I recently had a guest complain because there was no food in the house. It’s self catering, what did you expect?

I’ve always asked guests to let us know about breakages and made it clear that it’s not so we can charge them but purely for convenience at changeovers and 9/10 times, they still don’t tell us. I bet every single poster on this thread would claim that they never ever break anything or treat a holiday let badly but I simply don’t believe that’s true.

@Pringleface

I bet every single poster on this thread would claim that they never ever break anything or treat a holiday let badly but I simply don’t believe that’s true.

Well in over 20 years of using self catering accommodation (UK and abroad) 2 or 3 times per year, we've only ever broken one glass that was our fault. The thing is, we move stuff around, especially breakables so that they are out of harm's way. Sometimes, the breakables are left in stupid positions that mean breakages are more likely, such as fragile/thin wine/champagne glasses left in the lower shelves or in front of tumblers - we move them to the back and upper shelves. Same with ornaments etc, we'll take them off "high traffic" shelves/surfaces and put them somewhere more secure. Some owners really don't help themselves by providing thin glasses/thin cups/crockery that are almost certainly going to get cracked/chipped - the place we've just stayed at provided really thick/robust crockery, cups and glasses which are far less likely to get broken.

Also a lot of places are badly maintained, so things getting broken is inevitable. I.e. one place had a window blind literally hanging from one screw at one end only - inevitably, it fell down completely when we tried to close it. It was blatantly obviously hanging by a thread, so heaven knows why the cleaners/owners didn't spot it and fix it!

At the end of the day, a holiday cottage is going to get a lot harder life than a residential house, so it needs to be set up to be more robust in the first place, that means sensible floor covering downstairs (no light beige carpets in front of the front door!), patterned/darker coloured sofas with stainguard on them, etc. Right through to the likes of door handles - stupid to have kitchen cabinets and wardrobes etc with dainty/fragile door handles - you need secure big chunky ones!

Comfy bed
As little mobile signal as possible
No WiFi
Amazing view
Dog friendly
Direct access to a beach that's so remote it's basically private

I go every year and take my own knife

Log burner
Dishwasher
View
Enough utensils
Colander
Great shower

Good quality bed sheets, big towels and sharp knives.

Furniture that isn't just cast offs from an elderly relative's home.
Agree with a sensible amount of mid sized mugs and glasses. We stayed at a place the other year that had 22 Emma Bridgwater mugs (3 bedroomed property) which are lovely but the number was excessive.
A highchair (basic Ikea one ideal).
No knick knacks and ornaments around as we always have to move these out of reach of our little ones.
Actual cupboard space for food. When we went away with my inlaws last year we had to pile our food stuff on the worktops of the tiny kitchen.
Sturdy pegs for coats and an empty shoe rack.

In places I'm not happy with I enjoy spending time mentally redecorating/redesigning the house to work better!

Separate washing machine and (vented) tumble dryer. So many holiday properties have one really crap washer/dryer. Impossible to get anything dry in rainy weather.
Comfortable beds.
Towels and bed linen washed in eco/ unscented powder! Highly perfumed is definitely subjective 🤢
If you advertise a property as pet-free, don’t have it stinking of dog and covered in hair. We booked one in Cornwall for £££ due to allergies, but it had a dog front door mat, dog ornaments, smelly sofas and a washing machine that had clearly been used for pet blankets. Apparently it was ‘cottage owner and friends’ dogs only’,

Large mugs. I don’t think I’ve ever stayed in a holiday rental that doesn’t have shit mugs.

A friend of mine had a lovely holiday let and she lost count of the decent knives that got stolen. Also pans, chopping boards, a lovely mirror, wine glasses, cushions and towels.

You are saying that any damage caused by guests is the fault of the holiday let owner. I don’t agree.

Coffee machine and soap and towels at each sink. Dishwasher tablets, bin liners and washing up stuff.

Reliable wifi (non-negotiable).

Good knives and kitchen scissors. We almost always have to bring our own.

Cleaning stuff like dustpans, cloths. They can be tucked away that is fine because not everyone wants to clean but as I like to keep things tidy, it is preventing me from maintaining their cottage.

Shower (not bothered about bath but shower is a must)
Dishwasher
Washing machine
Airer and/or tumble dryer
King size bed (DH is 6'4")
Light fittings, door frames etc that DH doesn't bang his head on, shower fittings high enough for him to get under, bathroom mirrors he can see into (yet low enough for me to use at 5'3") - this has been an issue in 2 places we've stayed over the last few years. We can usually tell if the person fitting the shower, mirrors etc is tall or short based on whether it's DH or myself that has problems with them.
Decent number (& placement) of electricity sockets.
At least a basic selection of kitchen equipment - both in terms of cooking equipment, & also stuff like condiments. Salt & pepper, teabags, ketchup etc. Non perishable stuff most people either need directly on arrival, or would never use up in a week.

And YY to the poster who said linens should be washed in unscented detergent. Can't stand the smell of scented, & TBH most brands make me itch anyway. I'd be a wheezy mess after a week in scented sheets. We always take our own detergent on holiday in case we have to do an emergency launderette run on the first afternoon.

Definitely want something of a comparable standard to home.

King size bed and decent twins in other bedrooms. Clean sheets. Blackout blinds or curtains.
Decent shower with lots of hot water. A bath. Nice bath sheets and more that 1 towel each, i like a bath sheet and a bath towel for my hair. Plus 2 hand towels for the bathroom. Mirror in a decent place so it can be used. A shelf/ place in the bathroom for wash bag near the sink. Plenty of loo roll or at least make me aware that loo roll is limited so I can bring my own.
Dishwasher, well equipped kitchen with enough plates, cups etc for the amount of beds in the cottage. Plastic kids cutlery is a nice to have. Easy to use appliances. More than 1 baking tray. Decent pans and knives. Washing machine is nice to have.
Airer or washing line.
Get rid of the ornaments and knick knacks please.
Easy to use heating. Log burner or open fire is nice too - please supply decent fire guards.
Coat pegs or stand. Decent space for shoes in the hallway or a rack, it should be able to take 6 peoples shoes if the cottage sleeps 6.
Stairgates.

Secure garden.
Off road parking, I have no time for negotiating street parking (especially if there are controlled zones) or getting aggressive notes from neighbours for parking in "their" space when I'm on holiday.
If you are renting to families, please think about sharp edges on tables/ glass furniture. Robust furniture is appreciated.

Decent WiFi and TV.
A guest handbook/ guide to the local area, places to visit, how to work things, takeaways, local recommendations for places to eat, contact numbers etc.

Zip and link beds so they can be set up correctly for the guest configuration. I don't want to sleep in a tiddly wooden framed double or in a twin room with my husband and the kids need a bed each.

Dishwasher, I do not want to handwash anything on holiday

Washing machine for the same reason

Proper sized fridge freezer

Decent sized mugs and good condition matching tableware

Somewhere to sit outdoors

Blackout curtains

I'm currently in an Air bnb in Italy. Pros: dishwasher and washing machine both with tablets/pods, air con, really comfortable bed with light duvet, good size fridge and freezer, clothes drier. Cons: no thick curtains/blinds so need to fashion a blackout blind out of a beach towel, not enough pegs.

So happy to see this thread op. Was going to start one this morning as we have had little niggles in our holiday cottage.

No clothes airer
No hair dryer
No scissors
Tiny tea and coffee cups
A tin opener that doesn't work
Despite the niggles we do have a garlic crusher and enough crockery to open a cafe!

• Comfortable furniture (including garden furniture which is often missed out or cheap and nasty)
• private "English cottage" style garden looking on to a wildflower meadow
• comfortable place to sit and read in the garden
• rose garden in front with archway entrance through antique iron gates
• fairies at the bottom of the garden
• cosy snug library with open fire
• large beds with decent bedding
• large bath and power shower
• fluffy towels (including one for my hair!)
• antique dressing table with Dyson hairdryer
• blackout curtains/blinds
• no neighbours
• private parking
• large open plan kitchen with dining table and plenty of cooking equipment
• dishwasher, washing machine, large fridge freezer
• clothes drying rack
• bluetooth sound system
• sun room for breakfast

Yeah, pet peeve of mine - 39 mismatched mugs but nowhere to put your cornflakes.

I separate holiday cottage stuff into things I can tell in advance (which are dealbreakers), and things I can't tell in advance, and just make me annoyed.

In advance

• enough proper beds and bedrooms (no sofa beds, noone sleeping in the living room
• enough soft seating for everyone
• enough dining chairs and table space for everyone
• a bit of character. I'm less likely to rent a modern house, unless it looks interesting or has a great location
• an eye for decor. Doesn't have to be super modern, but I hate white walls with brown sofas, laminate floors and no pictures, it's so unwelcoming

When we're there

• plenty of cutlery and plates (not just one each so you're constantly washing up)
• decent kitchen items to cook with (we don't eat out that much due to cost, being vegetarian and getting limited choice eating out)
• somewhere to put our food
• warm enough house
• enough hot water
• games to play, especially weird ones we've never seen before
• books sometimes - but short stories or magazines, I don't want to start reading a novel that I won't finish
• thick curtains
• if there's a washing machine, then an airer or washing line (now the kids are grown up I don't bother washing on holiday though)
• salt, pepper, a few other kitchen basics. I've started taking my own now, it's annoying having to buy these things on day one if there's none there
• enough loo roll
• oven gloves please!
• coathooks, space for toiletries etc. Try staying there yourself if you haven't already, and see what's missing. Coathooks is such a simple thing to add, and what else are you supposed to do with your coats, dump them on the sofa? keep them in the wardrobe?

Don't care, but I know some of you do:

• TV
• Dishwasher

Would sometimes be useful but never happens (except one time when we really needed it and we asked the owner):

• more than one set of keys so people can come and go separately

Think I want but never use:

• garden. In practice, we're out most of the day, and in the evening I rarely find it warm enough to sit out

Years of experience have taught me to always travel with my own (razor-sharp) knives, a pair of scissors and mugs that hold more then a thimbleful of tea / coffee. And emergency string.

A comfortable bed. Not a horrible hard foam mattress from the internet. Not a tiny double for two adults.
Should be a basic but it's really rare.

@DuesToTheDirt

Would sometimes be useful but never happens (except one time when we really needed it and we asked the owner):

• more than one set of keys so people can come and go separately

Yes, this, especially if you're staying in a big property with multiple people.

I can see how it would be a PITA and a bit of security risk for the owners, but otherwise you either have to do everything together or somebody has to be 'at home' all day, which isn't really a holiday.

If it says disability friendly actually make it disability friendly and accessible

Wheelchair accessible with slopes not steps
Tell people the width of doorways, height of beds etc