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Original poster

Is it rude to say I’ve been there..?!

31 replies

NatureNurture85 · 30/05/2023 23:11

So for example my friend is on holiday at a location and I remember it well as my other friend had a wedding at this location. But is it odd to say I’ve been there, it’s a bit like showing off? Isn’t it?

OP posts:
TenThousandSpoons · 30/05/2023 23:13

No it’s not rude. Unless you said, I’ve been there but I stayed in a much nicer hotel than you. Why would it be rude?

RollingOnTheRiver · 30/05/2023 23:13

As long as it’s not Eleveneriffe it’s fine Wink

Fiddlerdragon · 30/05/2023 23:14

Why on earth is it showing off? Can people not visit the same places as their friends? It would be rude to say something like oh I’ve been there and think it’s a bit shit. I’d probably say I’ve been there and it’s lovely, I’d recommend x, y and z if you’re able to.

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Gingergirl70 · 30/05/2023 23:15

Why is it showing off? You can mention you've been somewhere, recommend restaurants, day trips, hotels without coming across as trying to be smug in some kind of way, can't you? Did your friend not mention before she left where she was going? I think it's a little weird that you wouldn't just say 'oh, I've been there. You must try the local xxx'.

RampantIvy · 30/05/2023 23:16

"I had a lovely holiday there. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did" would be absolutely fine.

CC4712 · 30/05/2023 23:19

Why on earth would it be showing off to have been there yourself??? What a strange way to think.

As others said, if you'd said 'Oh, you are staying in that cheapo hotel there! We stayed in a 6 star XYZ and it was pure luxury!' There are certainly ways to say things, but admitting you've been to the same holiday destination is hardy showing off! 🙄

Newname47 · 30/05/2023 23:26

RollingOnTheRiver · 30/05/2023 23:13

As long as it’s not Eleveneriffe it’s fine Wink

You've only been to elevenerife? I've been to TWELVErife 🤣

Just say you went there and recommend the xyz.

Dopey2dope · 30/05/2023 23:27

How is it showing off when she's there herself?

jays · 30/05/2023 23:30

Unless there’s more to it I would see that as a way of connecting with someone. It would be really weird to me if I said to a friend I was on holiday somewhere and they didn’t mention that they’d been there’s so we could chat about it or swap stories or say did you go to this bar or that restaurant or whatever.

Maddy70 · 30/05/2023 23:58

Why is it rude? Just say. Lovely. Hope you enjoyed as much as I did x

Doingmybest12 · 31/05/2023 00:16

It would be weird if you didn't say you'd been and it came out later that you had all a long.
It might be rude to say you'd been there and it was dreadful when she clearly really loved it.
It might be rude to say 'been there done that' kind of thing to shut her down.
It might be rude to say i went ages ago ,no big deal when she is really gushing about it.
So it's best to say in a normal way that you've been there too. You liked ..... and leave it at that.

Topseyt123 · 31/05/2023 00:22

Why on earth would you think it rude? It isn't. Is where you have been on holiday meant to be some weird secret for some reason?

Rubychews · 31/05/2023 00:26

genuinely I think this is how conversations work. I know I am a bit awkward as they say but I don’t think it’s show offy to say something like we really like it when we went. Now I wonder if people think I’m rude.

Wallawallakoala · 31/05/2023 00:30

It’s not at all but I know what you mean. I’ve got a friend who has been everywhere and done everything and has an opinion on all of it that she openly shares. Not always a bad thing but can sometimes be a bit of an eye roller like of course you’ve been there too!

not showing off I don’t think but I do sort of see where you are coming from.

LadyWhineglass · 31/05/2023 00:32

I’ve been to Twenterife. Just saying.

Original poster
NatureNurture85 · 31/05/2023 07:22

Wallawallakoala · 31/05/2023 00:30

It’s not at all but I know what you mean. I’ve got a friend who has been everywhere and done everything and has an opinion on all of it that she openly shares. Not always a bad thing but can sometimes be a bit of an eye roller like of course you’ve been there too!

not showing off I don’t think but I do sort of see where you are coming from.

Yes I don’t want to show off!

OP posts:
Downunderduchess · 31/05/2023 08:27

It’s conversation.

MaudGonneOutForChips · 31/05/2023 08:39

What an utterly bizarre response. Why would it be ‘showing off’ when your friend is on holiday in the same place? Why would it be ‘showing off’ anyway, assuming you aren’t actually saying you bought the entire area when you were there?

Lovestodrinkmilk · 31/05/2023 08:42

A blunt "I've been there!" really means "I'd rather talk about me and my holiday, not you and your holiday".

SpringIntoChaos · 31/05/2023 08:45

Are you always this anxious about conversing? What a strange thing to worry about!

MaudGonneOutForChips · 31/05/2023 08:49

Lovestodrinkmilk · 31/05/2023 08:42

A blunt "I've been there!" really means "I'd rather talk about me and my holiday, not you and your holiday".

Not necessarily. It could easily be a prelude to ‘if you fancy tapas/biodynamic wine/a beautiful climb, I really enjoyed X in 2019.’

Lovestodrinkmilk · 31/05/2023 08:53

MaudGonneOutForChips · 31/05/2023 08:49

Not necessarily. It could easily be a prelude to ‘if you fancy tapas/biodynamic wine/a beautiful climb, I really enjoyed X in 2019.’

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Ha, ha! And there you are, showing off YOUR local knowledge and talking about what YOU thought of it!

shivawn · 31/05/2023 08:55

Lovestodrinkmilk · 31/05/2023 08:53

Ha, ha! And there you are, showing off YOUR local knowledge and talking about what YOU thought of it!

Show quote history

What a strange way to think. I would definitely appreciate a restaurants recommendation from someone who had been to my destination before.

Lovestodrinkmilk · 31/05/2023 09:00

shivawn · 31/05/2023 08:55

What a strange way to think. I would definitely appreciate a restaurants recommendation from someone who had been to my destination before.

Show quote history

Perhaps it's an introvert/extrovert difference. I'm pretty independent, prefer to discover places for myself, and don't necessarily have the same tastes as my friends/aquaintances. Anyway, I'm just agreeing with OP that, indeed, as is implied in the original post, some people find "I've been there" tedious.

shakeitoffsis · 31/05/2023 09:03

Why the f would it seem like you're showing off ?! Strange strange behaviour.

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