Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

5.5 months postpartum and I think I'm pregnant again - HELP

59 replies

Namechangeed · 30/05/2023 15:04

Sorry it's long just want to add in all details.

Had a very faint positive this morning. I have a long history of early miscarriage so not taking it for a definite positive until it gets stronger. But it's definitely there.

I am so torn on how to feel. DH and I have been using protection, plus I'm breastfeeding. My periods are back but irregular that's why I tested because I'm not sure on dates.

DH is currently looking at getting the snip as he's adamant on having one child, as was I. But now I don't know what to do if it gets stronger.

I've heard it can result in high risk pregnancy, plus financially it would be a strain but not impossible, not to mention how hard it will be with a 1 year old and a newborn. But I don't know if I could not continue with the pregnancy as it was so hard to have DS. However, not against it in any way at all, and will seriously consider all options.

Has anyone else had this and been okay with two very young children at once?
I'm trying to work out all the pros and cons but can't think straight!

Can't confide in DH right now as he will pass out if I tell him. 🤣

OP posts:
Suchardchoccy · 30/05/2023 16:37

Good luck op 😊

HowcanIhelp123 · 30/05/2023 16:47

Lots of people do it, many even plan for it!

Even if it turns out you're not pregnant, it's clear you actually really want another baby so it would be worth having that discussion with your DH before he continues with having a vasectomy. He may still be resolute with only wanting the one child, but he needs to know how much you want another because you don't want a situation down the line where you resent him as you want another and he's wondering why you didn't say anything!

Maxineputyourredshoeson1 · 30/05/2023 16:48

ADHDDDDDDDBOOM · 30/05/2023 16:07

That's what they call rose tinted glasses 😉

Show quote history

You may well be right Grin

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
SmallbutMighty1 · 30/05/2023 17:19

Not as small as your gap (I was about 9m postpartum) so there is 18m between but honestly they are the best of friends now they are 3.5 and nearly 2 - you won't regret it even though the beginning is hard ❤️

Pallisers · 30/05/2023 17:23

I had the same gap with my younger 2. Was pregnant 6 months postpartum. It was a bit of a whirl but we were in the whirl anyway (as my mother said once "sure your life is ruined anyway, you might as well have another one :) )but they played together so well and have (nearly) always been the best of friends. They are in their very early 20s now and still the best of friends - despite going to different high schools, universities and have very different friends and interests.

confusedlots · 30/05/2023 17:45

13 month age gap between mine, I'll not lie, the first year was hard and a bit of a blur, but once I got that out of the way it's been great. You get all the baby stages, sleepless nights, potty training etc out of the way quickly, and days out are easier to plan as they can do similar activities. I was terrified when I found out I was pregnant again, and did wonder what people thought when I returned from maternity leave and was 6 months pregnant, but there are definitely lots of pros.

SunnySun1 · 30/05/2023 17:48

There’s 14 months between my brother and I. We’re really close as adults too. I personally wouldn’t choose such a small age gap though because my parents said the baby and toddler stages were crazy.

Bluebells1970 · 30/05/2023 18:01

There is 16 months between my middle two grandchildren. I was horrified when DD told me, but apart from being really tired in later pregnancy, she did quite well with it all. I did a lot of helping out in the 1st 6 months with them both as I wasn't working at the time, but now they're older it's much much easier and they're easy to occupy as they're so similar in age.

Frenchtoadt · 30/05/2023 18:09

I have 18 months between my two and know several people with less - 12 months 14 months and 15 months . It is tough but doable when you are organised . My children were great playmates and are very close .. best friends but sometimes worst enemies . I am worrying more now when I’m starting to think about the university expenses being close together .

Original poster
Namechangeed · 30/05/2023 18:24

Thanks everyone. There are so much positive responses, it's been so helpful. I can't thankyou all enough.

As PP has said about me speaking with DH about having another child. It really didn't enter my mind much until today and a part of me does feel like I would prefer to have the option in a few years if this doesn't go any further.

I will talk with DH about postponing the snip and see if that's something he is open to ☺️

OP posts:
Mynextusername · 30/05/2023 18:46

@Namechangeed basically both my gp and midwife said from the start I’d be consultant lead. At my booking appt with midwife she requested a consultant appt at hospital which is at 16 weeks.
she said it’s likely that I’ll have growth scans in 3rd trimester as well as maybe some extra check. I will be having a section anyway as I had a section last time so vbac would be too risky but they may choose to do it earlier than 39 weeks which is standard for section where I am. The biggest issue so far is my iron is too low (expected this close to last pregnancy)

LakeTiticaca · 30/05/2023 19:04

I was pregnant again 3 months post partum. I was horrified at the time. Exhausted by the end of the Pregnancy but I survived 😁 I now have 2 grown up sons who are the same age for 20 days every year 😆😆

Mumsgirls · 30/05/2023 19:25

Sis and I same age for a week each year. Very close and have no memories of being an only. Do wonder how much attention I got as a one year old, so mixed picture.quite common in older generations. Good luck

Snoopysimaginaryfriend · 30/05/2023 19:47

My DDs are 14/15 months apart. I had 3 miscarriages before the first so we were expecting similar the second time but she stuck.
It was hard but they’re brilliant. They play together and look out for each other. I wouldn’t have it any other way now.

rainbowtea23 · 30/05/2023 20:04

I’ll be 14 weeks tomorrow and my DS turned 7 months last week. Wasn’t expecting it at all after a decade of infertility and using condoms like we did without issue before TTC. I was shocked when we found out. I had an emergency section so waiting for my consultant appointment but will opt for an elective as the fear of rupture scares me. We haven’t told many people yet mainly as I’ve only just had my scan this week the midwife at my booking appointment put my date down wrong plus I thought I was 13+1 today but turned out to be 13+6 somehow.

YouCantBeSadHoldingACupcake · 30/05/2023 20:14

Ds1 was born 2 weeks before dd1 turned one. Dd2 was born the day before ds1s frost birthday so for a couple of weeks I had 3 under 2. Pregnancy was fine, did have some pelvic pain towards the end of dd2s pregnancy but nothing major. It wasn't too bad having 3 close together once we got past the tiny stage. I got them into a routine that meant they napped at the same time so I had time to rest or get stuff done. They are now 16,15 and 14 and very close.

Original poster
Namechangeed · 31/05/2023 14:40

So I tested again this morning but wasn't FMU as DS was up allllll night teething and would only sleep on me which is unusual for him. So I was a zombie this morning. It's still V faint like yesterday. I'm out of tests and have ordered some more. I do have a clear blue knocking around but I'll wait a couple days and see how it goes.

Everyone's responses have really put my mind at ease! Thinking about it all in a much more positive light now. Of course not really holding out but it's still a lovely thought!

OP posts:
Original poster
Namechangeed · 06/06/2023 09:03

Just a quick update -

Definitely positive 🙈

Now trying to figure out when to tell DH. We go away on holiday with family on the 12th. DH and I are going out on a date night (somewhere romantic) by ourselves towards the end of the trip and wondering if that will be a good time to tell him?

He will definitely pick up on the fact I'm not drinking whilst on holiday...

OP posts:
Mynextusername · 06/06/2023 09:19

@Namechangeed congratulations!
personally I wouldn’t wait that long but only because I know my DH would rather know straight away than for me to wait for something romantic. Especially for a surprise pregnancy!

SummerSimmer · 06/06/2023 09:20

Tell him right now, don’t make a thing of it.

TallulahBetty · 06/06/2023 09:27

Tell him right away! WTF

Original poster
Namechangeed · 06/06/2023 09:40

I'm scared to tell him!

He will be floored. God, I'm going to have to do it tonight aren't I

OP posts:
SirVixofVixHall · 06/06/2023 09:44

Op out of all my friends the two closest siblings are ten and a half months apart ! Their Mum got pregnant again when friend 1 was six weeks old. As pps have said they grew up more like twins. They were different school years because of when their birthdays fall , but otherwise at very similar stages.
Good luck. I think small gaps can often work very well after the gruelling small baby stage is over.

TallulahBetty · 06/06/2023 09:50

Namechangeed · 06/06/2023 09:40

I'm scared to tell him!

He will be floored. God, I'm going to have to do it tonight aren't I

Yes, you do. Anyone else can wait, but this is 50% his child.

Also, it will give him time to process. Don't drop it on him when he has to spend the holiday with his family

Glitterstars · 06/06/2023 09:54

100% tell him today as you have said it’s an unplanned pregnancy and he only wants 1 kid it will give him time to process it before you go on holiday. If it was planned then doing it in a nice romantic way would be more appropriate I suppose but from what you have said he may not be happy about it