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Original poster

Would this annoy you - sports club for girls

29 replies

Clubforgirls · 29/05/2023 22:37

I have my 2 dds in a sports club for girls, run by women.

They have been going for a few weeks now, and are getting a little busier.

Get there tonight and now 2 men are also helping run it.

I was a bit annoyed, but didn't say anything, but there was a definite shift away from empowerment and into a kind of "you're doing so well for girls' feeling (for example the guys told the girls to pretend there was a spider behind them to make them run faster, previously it had just been support, encouragement and tactics).

Just so disappointed to sport that's predominantly male, being accessible to girls for once, then having guys running it too and treating the girls like little princesses (these guys also run the club for boys and they were totally different with the girls).

Not much I can do I guess, just needed to get that off my chest.

OP posts:

Jenn3112 · 29/05/2023 22:41

Lots of girls football teams are coached my men as there just aren't enough female volunteers. Is it something you can help with if you feel that strongly about it?

lljkk · 29/05/2023 22:48

How old are the girls being encouraged to think a spider is chasing them?

Sounds fun to me... but maybe they are 15 & can't be arsed.

Original poster

Clubforgirls · 29/05/2023 22:48

One of my dds is in a football team run by a guy, I have no issue with that at all, and she loves him. She also does another traditionally male sport and her coaches are all men, again no problem at all.

This was supposed to specifically be run by women and I thought it was amazing so booked both dds in.

I'm disabled so can't help on any real level, it's a business as well so not a council or school run thing that accept volunteers.

I was just so disappointed for all the girls really. It was so nice to have a space just for them to learn a new sport without being treated as lesser than their male counterparts.

OP posts:

Drywhitefruitycidergin · 29/05/2023 22:49

I think it's better that more girls have access to the sport than limit numbers to the total that the 2 women coaches can manage.
If the coaching methods/treatment has changed then definitely ask original coaches about it.
It's great that people are volunteering their time to give kids these opportunities

Original poster

Clubforgirls · 29/05/2023 22:53

lljkk · 29/05/2023 22:48

How old are the girls being encouraged to think a spider is chasing them?

Sounds fun to me... but maybe they are 15 & can't be arsed.

They are all younger than about 8.

The last few weeks they have been given tips on their form and technique, had the leaders being encouraging, their classmates shouting support.

This week its like "you're not running fast enough, pretend you're being chased by a spider" rather than any actual advice. There was also a comment about not doing x like that, you might break a nail.

It was just the shift in the dynamics which was so disappointing.

OP posts:

Original poster

Clubforgirls · 29/05/2023 22:54

Drywhitefruitycidergin · 29/05/2023 22:49

I would have less issue if it was volunteer run, it was pretty expensive, far more so than the mixed team counterpart, but I thought it was worth it for the environment.

OP posts:

Kanaloa · 29/05/2023 22:57

This might be a bit over simple, but I’d look at it in the obvious way. Your children attend sports clubs that they enjoy and you think are good. They also attend one that was good but you now feel isn’t as good. To me the obvious is to simply withdraw them and look for something more technique based and more in line with the other clubs they attend.

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 29/05/2023 23:02

My daughter attends a sport club which is for girls, I'm pretty sure there are 2 male coaches/volunteers out of maybe 7 in total.

The owner of the club is very much in to making space for females in the sport, along people of colour and people from disadvantaged backgrounds, so she is really very passionate about it.

I agree with the above poster - if having men help out means more children can access the group, it can only be a good thing. It doesn't takeaway from the empowerment aspect. IMO, anyway.

Beamur · 29/05/2023 23:06

My DD goes to a sport club that is traditionally quite male but this one is female led and managed. There are a few male coaches (which is fine) but DD absolutely loves it being a predominantly female space. It really does make a difference. It's not an anti man space but it's very pro women.

Kanaloa · 29/05/2023 23:06

I agree with the above poster - if having men help out means more children can access the group, it can only be a good thing. It doesn't takeaway from the empowerment aspect. IMO, anyway.

I would think being told to pretend there’s a spider and don’t break a nail does take away the empowerment aspect. I’ve never heard that said at my boy’s sports clubs! Or my girls’ to be fair. But to me that would definitely not be empowering.

Original poster

Clubforgirls · 29/05/2023 23:12

One of my dds definitely doesn't care, she loves sports, and attends so many clubs, she's really confident and will happily put someone in their place for speaking down to her for being a girl in whatever sport (has happened a few times with boys she attends with). That said her other coaches never treat the girls in the class any different to the boys, and soon pull the boys up if they speak in a derogatory way towards the girls.

My other dd is totally different, but she really thrived the first few weeks, today was different, she wasn't being treated like an equal, and she just sort of reverted back to not trying very hard a couple of the other parents commented as well.

I'm definitely not anti- man at all, it was just so nice to see my dd being empowered in an all female space and the confidence she gained from that.

I don't think I'll be booking for next term, and I'll probably give them feedback as to why. It's a real shame.

OP posts:

Drywhitefruitycidergin · 29/05/2023 23:14

Definitely say something then if it's expensive. By default it's professional and needs to be kept so. You don't need to be confrontational about just ask the question about the change in dynamics and whether this approach will be continued going forwards.

What does your dd think about the change?

JandalsAlways · 29/05/2023 23:15

They might be volunteers or it might be hard to find staff. YABU. It's probably hard to get something like this off the ground and running, please don't male it harder for them

ManyATrueWord · 29/05/2023 23:23

I think you can raise this. Men are so fucking clueless about how they treat women and girls.

Gottobecake · 29/05/2023 23:23

Don't wait until the end of the term to feedback, get in touch with the organisers and provide the feedback now. Tell them you do not intend to continue with further bookings if the coaching continues like this. Maybe it will help them change it.

Original poster

Clubforgirls · 29/05/2023 23:24

One of my dds was fine, she's super sporty anyway, so it really didn't bother her.

The other didn't like it as much this week, she said she didn't feel like she did well, she wasn't as confident as she previously has been. It was mainly this dd that I booked this club for tbh.

It's definitely not a volunteer thing, it's a business, and it cost about 50% more than the other mixed club there is, but I paid because I thought it was worth it, it was advertised as run by women and an all female club. Maybe it is hard to find staff, but we are in a uni city, with lots and lots of sports students (that's what one of the coaches is doing already) so I'm sure they could have found women if they tried.

I would probably have went for the mixed one if I knew there would be male coaches.

OP posts:

FatFilledTrottyPuss · 29/05/2023 23:25

I’d be really pissed off at the spider nonsense and don’t break a nail sexist crap. Can you maybe pull them up on that aspect and say you want your dds empowered, not patronised?

JandalsAlways · 29/05/2023 23:28

FatFilledTrottyPuss · 29/05/2023 23:25

I’d be really pissed off at the spider nonsense and don’t break a nail sexist crap. Can you maybe pull them up on that aspect and say you want your dds empowered, not patronised?

I agree, the spider thing is a dumb

Original poster

Clubforgirls · 29/05/2023 23:28

I think I will raise it with them before the next session.

I suppose they can't fix it if they don't know its broken. Their entire ethos was all woman and girl based, so it's just surprising they thought it was a good idea in general, but also for these guys specifically who clearly don't see girls as equals at all.

OP posts:

weareallout · 29/05/2023 23:48

Can still be hard to get female coaches. Paid or not

Original poster

Clubforgirls · 29/05/2023 23:57

weareallout · 29/05/2023 23:48

Can still be hard to get female coaches. Paid or not

Maybe so, but then they should probably change their advertising.

Or they should do 2 sessions with the same 2 female coaches rather then one session which is now a different type of session than the one we signed up for.

It was unfair on the girls to give them a space where they were empowered, then replace it to a space where they are reduced to their nails and being scared of spiders.

OP posts:

weareallout · 30/05/2023 14:06

I'd tell them direct. I'd be less fussed with the spider reference as I might well do that with under 7-8 lads where I coach 'pretend you are being chased by a big hairy monster / spider / crocodile or whatever.
Reference to breaking nails is sexist.
A lot of men don't realise the language they actually use.
Remember 'no more girls & boys' series?!!?
( women can be the same too)

weareallout · 30/05/2023 14:08

I'm heavily involved in kids sport. It's incredibly hard to recruit female coaches outside of traditionally remake sports. There are girls now age 16-15 appearing but above that are like hens teeth

weareallout · 30/05/2023 14:08

*female

Original poster

Clubforgirls · 30/05/2023 15:05

I totally get that its harder to recruit female coaches.

That's what they advertised though so that's what they should have done.

It's great that so many girls are interested in the sport, but it was specifically because this session was run by women.

Some of the other parents have mentioned it in the group chat now, so I added my choice to theirs.

Not sure what will happen with it now.

OP posts:

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