If you/ your DP went to boarding school, have you made the same choice for your own children?

[SpanielsByTheSea]

We have many friends who went to boarding school (especially the men). DH attended an 'elite' all boy's boarding school, followed by his three brothers. It occurred to me earlier that none of our friends who themselves attended boarding school have made that choice for their own children, although most are in a financial position to do so. We haven't even really considered this as an option. To us, sending kids to live away felt very outdated, and a long way away from our values as parents. Ours' have attended a mixture of village primary school, prep and independent day schools.

Is this other people's experience, or do we just know an unusual cohort? If there is no longer a tradition of 'boarding school' families sending their children to boarding school, who on earth is? Maybe there's a whole new group of people making this choice (overseas families perhaps), or will these schools eventually become day schools, or fizzle out?

The only person I know who liked boarding school had completely crazy parents. Like totally nuts and abusive but posh.

The others, with nice parents , LOATHED. It.

I can't even imagine ever wanting to send my child away from me.

Should add DH attended boarding school and hated it. He'd never send ours.

I only know 2 people who boarded. 1 did so because her parents worked overseas - her kids are both at the local state school and they wouldn't be in a position to pay for boarding (we work in the same industry). The other is definitely in a position to pay and their kids are day pupils at a school which offers boarding so it'll be interesting to see if they take that option as they get older.

DH went. He hated it. hated hated it. Strangely though he was very insistent that ours go. 'Because that's what eeryone does'. I am not from the UK and boarding school is most definitely NOT what everyone does. I find the concept of sending a 7 year old away to school horrifying. But this is not my culture and not the norm.

Thankfully we simply cannot afford it although our 2 do go to private schools. The boarders at their school tend to be overseas students though with the odd eception for children from military families. It's a small school though.

With the sole exception of one of DH's friends who is a complete arsehole (not related though!) none of his friends send their kids either- despite having gone themselves. I doubt any of of his friends can afford it either. Everyone has 2-5 Dcs as well. It would be financially crippling.

Yes. Both kids almost 14 when they started boarding school (yr9). Weekly boarding so home after matches on Saturday and back in school on Sunday night. No issues. No dramas. One in first year at Uni now and one sitting GCSEs. We are a close warm family. Very few people can afford it now, we earn £400k min each year though half of that goes straight to the taxman. I find most people who comment on boarding schools threads are out of date with how boarding schools are run now.

I was at boarding school in the 80s. None of the women that I was there with have sent their children to board and there was no chance I would do it (nor could we afford it) I think there are circumstances in which it is a valid choice and beneficial for the child - but for me its a massive no.