Why the hell do I keep getting crushes on women?

[Lookinggoodinsummerclothes]

Does anyone else have this? I'm a straight woman, married with children. I am definitely straight I fancy men.

But I get quite a lot of crushes on women. I had a crush on a girl at school, I even had a massive crush on my child's teacher once, now it's happening again with a school mum. It seems to go on for a few months then it will pass.

I don't want to be intimate with a woman at all and I can't really explain how I know it's a crush but I'll keep thinking about them, have very strong feelings towards them, almost a feeling of being protective towards them. I feel a bit lovesick and look forward to seeing them.

@Lookinggoodinsummerclothes @QueefQueen80s There is very little to dissect in what you're describing and is blindingly obvious to me as an outsider. I can't help but see 2 bisexual women with a touch of internalised homophobia. Your straight-conditioned socialisation won't let you be turned on by homosexual activity but you can fantasise about it as long as it's heterosexual. Of course it doesn't make you trans! You're a female who is (sometimes) attracted to females.

Yeah I had this. Turns out I'm bisexual. Being heterosexual is just such a default norm that I assumed I was and viscerally rejected the idea of being sexual with a woman. When I eventually accepted I was bisexual gradually that feeling of aversion towards being sexual with women disappeared.

I get this occasionally with Women I see or meet. I get like a deep crush and then think about the Woman ( nothing sexual) for days. After a while it phases out.
Whenever this happens now I just wait for the process of 'getting over' to happen quickly as I know it will happen.

I have these crushes sometimes, when i meet a strong, intelligent woman with humour. Luckily i dont meet many of them😅

For me it is a type of courtly love almost… i love them for their mind, not for their body… i have no desire to do anything with their body. I just want to talk and laugh and really connect with them.

I don’t think it is gayphobia… my parents were very open minded, had gay friends, always told me it was totally ok if i was gay. They suspected i could be… i really have the looks apparently, a bit androgynous. But i found DH ,who is a bit on the feminine side in some things, and we make a wonderfull couple together.

I'm definitely not trans.. Love being a woman.. and definitely not homophobic, I publicly declare I'm bi 😂 Have a gay brother, gay friends so you're barking up the wrong tree there. I'm just not personally attracted to vaginas, don't like being fingered and love the feeling of sex with a man. Love kissing women, love the emotional intimacy.. wish I loved the sexual side as I can't stand most men.

Unless Mae is offering

Lol at the arbiters of sexuality in this thread! I mentioned the asexuality as something OP may want to look into for similar experiences, as there is a form of asexuality which includes pro-romantic but non-sexual attraction, which can also apply to either or both genders.

My point IS that I think this is pretty normal and isn't talked about enough, it seems like there is a brigade out there who like to define what a 'true' lesbian is, or your sexuality only counts when it comes to sexual intercourse. It's so complex and fluid!

Well this is me and I realised when I was in my 30s that I'm actually bi.
Previously assumed everyone felt like this. They really don't.
Did have one same sex experience while still at school, but have always dated men. Am now happily married to a man with two children.
But there are women i fantasise about for sure.

It sounds like you are gay/bi and have internalised homophobia

I have had crushes like this on women. I am just bi. If you've never been with a woman it makes sense that you can't imagine in. There's lots of men I've felt like this about too. I think it's a crush on the idea of them not the actual person

I’ve had crushes on women from age 12, not regularly, but it is when I feel a deep admiration for them, they are charismatic, and/or are the woman I would like to be or would like in my life as a close companion. Not a sexual desire but a desire for closeness or intimacy. And I get a bit hung up on them, and feel a bit hurt if they are blasé about the friendship. There are times when I’ve mistaken good chats for a deep connection that I thought would develop, and didn’t.

It sounds to me like you might be bi with some internalised homophobia.

I used to think I couldn’t have internalised homophobia because I didn’t feel any homophobia towards others. I also thought the idea of having sex with a woman was disgusting even though I found women sexually attractive and barely tolerated men being anywhere in my vicinity. Despite thinking I would be repulsed by lesbian sex when I was younger, I am actually a lesbian who had a lot of internalised homophobia at that time and is not remotely repulsed by lesbian sex in reality. You say that you find men sexually attractive so it sounds more like bisexuality for you. You might still find the lesbian masterdoc useful though.

www.idrlabs.com/sexual-orientation/test.php

I’ve found myself in a similar situation, often catch myself yearning to spend time with females around me (either in my social circle or at work)

I've never been with a woman and not entirely I would want to but there are women I develop crushes on or imagine spending time with - I also tend to really crush on some female celebrities

I like confident women and tend to admire other mums, mainly because I find a deeper connection with them

@Lookinggoodinsummerclothes late to this thread but I understand completely. I don't think you're bi with internalized homophobia as has been suggested... I have actually had sexual experiences with women and was not into it at all, PIV really is where it's at for me. However I can certainly appreciate sex appeal in women and there have been times in my life when I've had an intense crush on a woman that I find very sexy/charismatic, often a more masculine-presenting one. The difference for me seems to be that if I have a crush on a man I picture myself with that man- sexually, in a relationship etc. But when it's a woman I just think about the woman- I don't actually picture myself with her. I'm sure this phenomenon is more common than people will admit; isn't the so-called "girl crush" an admission of this type

Biromantic heterosexual?