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Original poster

Would you upgrade / change your wedding or engagement ring?

45 replies

NewShoesForSpring · 24/05/2023 16:25

Just thinking about this myself and have surprised myself by realising I would not actually like to do this...

I have 4 diamonds in my wedding ring and dh had suggested adding more for a significant anniversary next year. I am fine with this as it the same ring and the stones can be added without really altering the ring too much.

The existing diamonds are evenly spaced around the ring meaning two of them are always hidden in the palm of my hand.

The jeweller who made the ring suggested that the 4 diamonds be placed together along the top of the ring, channel set with no gap between them and this would really make an impact visually. But I didn't want that at the time.

I still love the ring and the setting and now dh has suggested adding more to do as the jeweller originally suggested and leaving the two on the back where they are.

I had to think about what that would mean to my ring but have decided it would be ok and I could live with it. But it surprised me that I would not like a whole new ring as I am more sentimental than I thought and it would feel strange to me that if it was no longer my wedding ring.

I feel the same about my engagement ring I have to say.

My mother, on the other hand, has had 4 or 5 engagement rings over the years - still married to the same man!

She just fancied bigger, better rings as they got older and had a bit more money to spare.

She actually lost her original engagement ring..

How do you all feel about it? No problem upgrading to a bigger nicer ring or no way, the original is meaningful and I would not change it?

OP posts:

StephanieSuperpowers · 24/05/2023 16:32

Well, I think once you're married, it's not really an engagement ring any more, so if you want to change it up, there's no reason not to. And if you don't want to, don't. I don't think I'd upgrade my own rings, but only because I put a lot of time and energy into getting them how I wanted them when I got them made and I still like them both, a decade on.

JuneOsborne · 24/05/2023 16:34

I've upgraded both my wedding ring and my engagement ring! But I gave my old engagement ring to my dsis when she got engaged because wn I got engaged we had no money and my grandmother gave my then boyfriend the ring to give to me. So it seemed fitting.

Newtrix · 24/05/2023 16:59

No definitely definitely not, even the idea makes me sad. They are a symbol of our marriage and the rings we gave to each other. Any other ring would just be a ring.

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mumonthehill · 24/05/2023 17:01

No, neither were expensive but I never take them off. I love my engagement ring, even though it is very simple.

Mumdiva99 · 24/05/2023 17:04

My wedding ring was my g'mas. She wore it for 70 years. So if it got damaged or wore down too badly I might replace it. (Or use the gold in a new ring). The stone in my engagement ring belonged to my DH late mum. So no.....but I might get it reset one day. (The jeweller advised me not to have it set how I wanted....) But I provably wouldn't.

DemonicCaveMaggot · 24/05/2023 17:05

I wouldn't change them because the replacements would just be rings, not the rings I got engaged with or married with.

I wouldn't modify mine either because the wedding ring is just a plain gold band and the design of the engagement ring is unusual and changing it would spoil it

What you are planning to do sounds fine to me though, you are keeping the original, just adding to it.

StillNoFuckingEyeDeer · 24/05/2023 17:08

I’m happily married but don’t wear either of my wedding or engagement rings. I’m just not a jewellery person. They’re lovely rings, but wish we hadn’t bothered with rings at all.

Pahpahpotato · 24/05/2023 17:10

Not a chance. As someone has already said, they wouldn’t be my engagement and wedding rings anymore, they’d just be rings. I think modifying is slightly different, altho I still wouldn’t do it. The rings on my finger are the ones my husband put there and it makes me feel weird to think of not having them there out of choice!

Lovingitallnow · 24/05/2023 17:10

I'm both sentimental and materialistic so I'd keep the same style with a bigger stone. It's the design that means more to me than the literal ring itself

Erictheavocado · 24/05/2023 17:13

Didn't have an engagement ring as we needed the money for other things at the time. I had to have a piece put in my wedding ring as I developed arthritis in my knuckles and my ring had to be cut off. Unfortunately, it is possible to see where the piece was added but I still wouldn't change it. It is the ring my DH put on my finger when we married and even it's imperfection is a reminder that marriage can't always be perfect, but that doesn't make it worth less. I've had my wedding ring for 40 years and wouldn't change it for the world.

caringcarer · 24/05/2023 17:43

I had a 1 carat solitaire diamond engagement ring and I would not change it. DH chose the stone and we chose the setting together and had it made at the jewelry quarter in Birmingham. I'd be very happy to get a new ring though. But it would never replace my engagement ring. My wedding ring is a plain platinum band and I'd not change that either. I have had it stretched though after my finger got fatter.

Fanamarama · 24/05/2023 17:44

No I would never change them. I’d get another ring for another finger.

Fiftyisthenewsixty · 24/05/2023 17:55

I did this but sort of regret it! I had to have it reset and had two stones added but now I don't really wear it...

restisall · 24/05/2023 18:11

I didn’t like the ring I was proposed to with so asked for a different one (not then and there)

if I’m wearing it for the rest of my life I want it to be something I like!

Cherrysoup · 24/05/2023 18:55

I’d like a new engagement ring, mine is an almost black sapphire and missing a diamond on the shoulder. I’d use my great grandmother’s wedding ring if I lost weight.

YouJustDoYou · 24/05/2023 18:57

No.

Dacadactyl · 24/05/2023 19:17

I wouldn't. I have a very small diamond in the engagement ring but DH bought it when we were both young and had no money. I sometimes look at it and think how far we've come as a couple.

Aside from that, our wedding ring was blessed by the Priest on our wedding day. I wouldn't want another one.

CornedBeef451 · 24/05/2023 19:21

I don't wear my rings at all.

They're not really what I wanted and not really my style plus my hands itch a lot so I gave up wearing them as I kept leaving them in weird places every time I used hand cream.

I would possibly trade them in for something I liked more but DH would be upset as he chose them.

AssertiveGertrude · 24/05/2023 19:22

i have a lovely eternity ring that was of much higher value than my engagement ring so I wear that now mostly

i wouldn’t change my actual engagement ring

SomethingAboutNothing · 24/05/2023 19:28

This is something I have thought about as well, as I now work in a job where I can only wear one plain gold ring, and my wedding ring has diamonds on it.

I wouldn't want to just buy a plain gold band, so I have thought about getting the diamonds from my wedding ring put onto my engagement ring and using the gold from the ring to make a plain gold band. Will obviously be much more expensive than buying a new one, hence I haven't done it yet, but I will do one day. At the moment I just don't wear a ring for work but that feels wrong too! My husband couldn't care less either way as long as it doesn't cost him money 😂

UsingChangeofName · 24/05/2023 19:29

No, I wouldn't change mine (well, I had to have the size increased, but......)

They mean a huge amount to me. They are what we bought when we had very little money, but they symbolise so much.
If I wanted a different ring, then I'd buy one - or ask dh to buy me one for Christmas / Birthday - but it would be just that, a new ring. Which would be nice, but it wouldn't be my engagement ring, it would be a ring I'd had for another occasion (or no occasion).

LudicrouslyCapaciousBag · 24/05/2023 19:29

Definitely not. DH knew me well enough to propose without a ring and we chose a beautiful antique together. It’s irreplaceable. My wedding ring is a very plain platinum band that was blessed by the priest who married us and I never take it off.

TheIsaacs · 24/05/2023 19:36

I had my engagement ring altered, the setting changed slightly and the original stones set in a new metal. It was largely because the original ring was awful quality and I didn’t feel I trusted it to not break.

Roselilly36 · 24/05/2023 19:40

I wouldn’t change my wedding ring, but I have a different engagement ring, the original one was bought in the late eighties, we were 18 and didn’t have much money. DH brought me a much nicer one after DS was born.

StillEatingRipeBananas · 24/05/2023 19:46

I have. I think because I am not really attached to the original rings ie I would have liked a platinum solitaire but we were just starting out in life post uni and it felt like way too much money to spend so instead I got a yellow gold solitaire. There were problems with it and the jewellery shop replaced it too. If I were choosing now I wouldn't choose it the same way I wouldn't choose the same sofa I liked back then either, mid 90s.

I still have my original engagement and wedding ring but just don't wear them. I now have a Moissanite solitaire in a silver setting, a titanium wedding band and a Moissanite half eternity in silver. They are much more me. I have one friend who comments on it occasionally that those aren't the rings that were blessed by the priest, I chose a church because it was pretty not because I am religious. So the blessing doesn't mean anything to me or Dh. I am still very much in love, I don't need a yellow gold ring to show that.

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