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What would you make the most of, if you could rewind to 6-12 months before starting a family?

56 replies

chessica · 22/05/2023 19:22

Just that really, we’re in that position now and would love to know what you would do a bit more of/make the most of pre kids if you had a rewind button or if that’s your situation now.

OP posts:
RaisinsAreTheWorkOfTheDevil · 22/05/2023 19:46

Holidays, theatre trips, going on a road trip to anywhere, weekends away, spending lots of time with friends, doing some adventurous things, drinks out, Build up better finances first and appreciate the freedom!

I love my kids and being a mum, but I really wish I had done more of these things when I was able!

inomniaparatis · 22/05/2023 19:47

I would have lost weight and got as fit as possible. And as others have said, go on holiday!

Caramelisedbiscuitbutter · 22/05/2023 19:49

Definitely holidays. Specifically long haul, activity based ones.

Hiking/long walks in the countryside.

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neverenoughchelseaboots · 22/05/2023 19:50

Long haul flights, with hot drinks, reading books, not holding 28 different items….ahhhhh.

BakewellGin1 · 22/05/2023 19:52

A holiday somewhere hot with a sun lounger, cocktails, child free bars and restaurants.

Coffee and breakfast in peace preferably at a nice coffee shop

Meet ups with friends

A cinema trip to see a good none Thomas the Tank related film

Lie Ins

Hairdressers alone

Buy nice make up and bubble baths etc

Stock up on comfy lounge wear and slippers for when your confined to the sofa

Travel. Even short trips out to the seaside, country pubs and so on

Never under estimate a super market shop - alone

chessica · 22/05/2023 20:00

BakewellGin1 · 22/05/2023 19:52

A holiday somewhere hot with a sun lounger, cocktails, child free bars and restaurants.

Coffee and breakfast in peace preferably at a nice coffee shop

Meet ups with friends

A cinema trip to see a good none Thomas the Tank related film

Lie Ins

Hairdressers alone

Buy nice make up and bubble baths etc

Stock up on comfy lounge wear and slippers for when your confined to the sofa

Travel. Even short trips out to the seaside, country pubs and so on

Never under estimate a super market shop - alone

This is a great list x

OP posts:
YoucancallmeKAREN · 22/05/2023 20:00

chessica · 22/05/2023 19:25

I’ve heard it’s parenting just in another location haha. Can’t beat a good sunshine break. We can’t wait for family holidays too though they always look good fun when we see other holidaymakers, but I bet it can be tricky at times

Oh my you are in for a shock, i don't know anyone that would say they ever had great fun on family holidays, a nice 5 minutes here and there but believe me that is it. I remember a long journey with one getting upset because the other one was looking out her window !

ChuffKnows · 22/05/2023 20:08

Sex and sleep

LadyGardenersQuestionTime · 22/05/2023 20:10

Opportunity to find a better father for my children.

determinedtomakethiswork · 22/05/2023 20:12

I think get as fit as you possibly can, because that will really stand you in good stead during the pregnancy and during the birth and afterwards.

Also, really, I think hard during those few months about whether your partner will be a good partner and father. Think about the red flags and think about whether he is patient, generous with his time and energy, whether you are on the same page regarding money etc.

TerrifiedandWorried · 22/05/2023 20:21

Those afternoons when you go to the pub and then ring someone else (I'm going back 20 years here) and they rock up and then gradually more people turn up and you're really happy and laughing and then you go back to someone's house and listen to nice music and you don't have to get up the next day.

Geranium1984 · 22/05/2023 20:29

Decent holiday. Our last holiday before getting pregnant was only for 5 days.... knowing covid then a baby would come along we should have made it 2 weeks!!

Lying in bed on the weekend, going out for brunch, lunch, dinner... seeing friends more. Enjoying husbands company a bit more, doing more couple things. Any kind of hobby you might have or want to get into. Any films, too tired for films these days!

Tangfastic91 · 22/05/2023 20:34

Besides the obvious holidays, evenings out, hobbies etc... Enjoy being laid up with illness and wallowing in your own misery - nothing like broken sleep with a sick teething toddler when you're ill yourself to make you miss the good old days of just looking after yourself!

Infusionist · 22/05/2023 20:48

Holidays

Sex

Posh meals out

Paddingtonsmarmlade · 22/05/2023 20:48

Lie ins

mooching through national trust places/woodlands/coastal walks.

LotsOfBalloons · 22/05/2023 20:54

I'd have.

Seriously got fit as in seen a pt etc rather than a half arsed fitness video

Eaten out more in nice place. I used ti worry about the money but its 4 x as much and completely out of reach now so they're "experiences" I'd like to have had.

Retrained. So much harder after kids and teaching was not family friendly. I'd love another Yr to do ed psych training prekids...

Oh if only

Jackienory · 22/05/2023 20:59

Sex

eurochick · 22/05/2023 21:00

Travel

Spontaneity. Your days of being able to go to a gym class/to the cinema/for a drink without at least coordinating with your partner or, if you want to do something together, arranging childcare, are numbered. I didn't realise how much of a straight jacket I would find this.

MrsHsGirl · 22/05/2023 21:13

Having long hot baths with no bath toys in the way and no 'mammaaaaaaaaa' through the door

Seas164 · 22/05/2023 21:37

Long haul flights. Short haul flights. Being able to sleep on flights. Being able to sleep in your own bed without tiny elbows in your ribs. A lie in where you've not got one ear open listening to the hell that is breaking loose downstairs.

Liking your partner. Having sex that's not in the slim window after the children are asleep and before you fall asleep from exhaustion because the children are going to wake up again any minute.

Your Vagina and Vulva 1.0

Being able to have a shower without sticking your head out of the door every ninety seconds because you're convinced you can hear someone crying. It's phantom.

Cinema. Theatre. Reading books, magazines. Really reading menus in restaurants, rather than juggling crayons and wet wipes and breadsticks and wondering why you're not at home dishing out fish fingers instead. Spa days.

Being able to get on a bus and sit down, maybe listen to a podcast, rather than check how many buggies are already on there and then wrestle with a buggy as the driver lurches off down the road and then answer seventy two repetitive questions, about the bus.

Nice hotels.

Your hair.

The pub.

Your cream sofa. In fact your soft furnishings in general before they all get covered in jam and ketchup. Children are so very sticky.

That's about it really.

PracticallyFlooredZero · 22/05/2023 21:59

Lie ins. It’s not even just being able to sleep as long as you want it’s the actually waking up naturally and not being startled awake by someone crying, poking you in the eye, jumping on you etc.

Definitely agree with holidays. We have had some really nice family holidays but they are very, very different to before.

I also really miss being in the house on my own and just doing nothing. If I’m at home my kids usually are. If I get a rare break from them I am out of the house. If DH takes them all out for a bit on a weekend to give me a break (quite rare as we have 3 under 6 and it’s just easier to divide and conquer most of the time) I have such a mountain of things to catch up on I’ll inevitably end up doing house jobs. Just to lie on the sofa watching Netflix and eating snacks in peace sounds like heaven!

DinosApple · 22/05/2023 22:08

Spontaneity in all its forms. Wearing necklaces and earrings. Babies and toddlers are grabby.

Lots of exercise, sex, meals out, travel, lone shopping, theatre trips, gigs, festivals, cooking for pleasure, making the most of having a cracking body, relaxing holidays....

Holidays suck until the golden years of 7+ when DC become much easier and there's less to cart about. Then holidays become brilliant!

LemonLimeDivine · 22/05/2023 22:10

Ruthless declutter and organise house
Holiday
Sleep

MavisStrop · 22/05/2023 22:13

SmallElephants · 22/05/2023 19:27

Boring but financial stability. Some savings. Finish studying!

Saving up money!

Kreftla · 22/05/2023 22:20

Art galleries! But I have a toddler so I might be biased. Three-course meals and long leisurely tapas-style dinners. We do lunches out now and cook nice meals in the evening when they’re down. Found holidays pre 1yr a breeze, they’re so flexible. Now we probably won’t fly for a while, but we had a lot of holidays in the first year - nearly one a month as we’re on shared parental leave!!