I hate how thick my ass/thighs are despite lots of exercise and eating clean.

[Emptiedout]

I've actually become quite obsessed with how much I hate this part of my body - which is awful.

I'm mid fifties, post meno, and fit. I work out with weights/weights&hit classes at least 3 x a week. I eat really well and whilst I don't count calories, I have a very very low carb diet and have done for years.

But my ass and thighs look THICK. I saw a photo of me yesterday in a weightlifting class and I wanted to cry.

I'm 5ft 2, and about 8.12. Flattish stomach, smallish waist - 29.5/30? - but biggish (but pert) bum and thick thigh.

Is it because I'm not doing enough cardio? I've read so much about post menopausal women and cardio, how doing too much can increase cortisol levels and add to weight gain, I've steered away. I hate running but might start up skipping again.

Any thoughts?

I'd just work on coming to terms with your shape. You sound like you have a healthy and functional body!

Big buns are in. Focus on some self love and acceptance.

Your poor body. You make it do all that and it's still not good enough! I agree with PP - focus on how healthy you are, how you've done everything to make your body fit and well-nourished and accept that this is your lovely body shape.

If you want thin thighs, you have to give up all exercise and starve yourself. Drive everywhere and embrace a flat arse.
If you want lift weights and be able to walk miles, you need to embrace the big strong thighs that come with it.

I'm 5ft 2, and about 8.12. Flattish stomach, smallish waist - 29.5/30? - but biggish (but pert) bum and thick thigh.

You're saying you are fit, you recognise your bum is actually pert, and your measurements are above - I think this sounds like some version of body dysmorphia.

I mean how thick can your thighs really be?

It really sounds like a cognitive distortion.

You sound like you have a degree of body dysmorphia. You lift weights. You have muscle. It's beautiful

I was going to suggest you get into weights and make a virtue of it. Then I saw you already lift!

Firm muscular thighs and arse are glorious. Enjoy them! Be proud of them! They're strength and fitness and the successful badass pursuit of a goal.

I'm almost underweight and still have athletic thighs, I don't even have a bottom. They've been the bane of my life when it comes to clothes shopping but apparently it's healthy to have chunky thighs.

I think you need to read Dr Stacy sims menopause book www.amazon.co.uk/Next-Level-Kicking-Crushing-Menopause/dp/0593233158 - she's the number one expert on female athlete nutrition and exercise.

Agree- all the youngsters at my gym spend hours doing hip thrusts to get a big booty and thighs. They also love those scrunch bum leggings that look like your butt is eating your leggings. Embrace being bang on trend and shake what your mama gave ya

Also, if this is your build, a) that's not gonna change, b) it's the healthiest build you could possibly have after meno. This is really all about a mindset change. A small waist and bodacious thighs and ass are awesome. I've always been built that way and lifting has really changed my mindset and helped me accept the fact that I don't even want to be a twig, because like hell could a twig lift what I do.

How heavy are the weights you're lifting? Because if they're quite light (say <5kg), I would encourage you to get into lifting heavier shit. It's amazing how your mindset changes when you start to see how muscle mass changes what you can do.

It’s just your build - you need to accept it.

Everyone has the body frame that they have. That's your baseline, there is then a range within that which can change but it sounds like your expectation is that toy can change the baseline. You can't. Enjoy the fit attractive body you have formed, don't waste time hating the fundamental structure of it.

Thank you all. I cried because you're all speaking the truth. I need more self-love. I'm so hard on myself.

I lift heavy weights. Free weights I lift about 10-15kg above my head. I deadlift about 45Kg. I squat about 30k and bench about 30k. Not amazing, but nothing to sniff at.

I have osteopenia so I know how important bone health is.

My husband says I'm gorgeous and doesn't make me feel unloved. A lifetime of hating what I see.

I was overweight for years - not massively but out of shape, for sure. Then, hit my late 20s, got massively fit and thin and was like this about 10 years and loved it. But then I had kids and an early menopause and it's just been a descent towards feeling like this.

I feel like I didn't have enough time with a body I liked.

All stupid stuff! I know i'm lucky to be healthy and moving. I absolutely know this

I mean this kindly, but get over yourself!
your body is amazing and strong and fit. To an extent we get what we’re given. Try to find self acceptance.

This sounds like me, I don't think you can change it to be honest. In the same way a naturally lean straight up and down person cannot become curvy.

My thighs are bigger due to doing a lot of horse riding from before puberty upto my twenties.

They can't be that massive at that weight! I agree with PPs, you sound like you're obsessing needlessly.

I do the same thing, my legs will never be the kind of Kate Moss super skinny look that was in when I was a teenager, but I've learned to embrace it. If I'm feeling self conscious I wear skirts that flatter my tiny waist, but otherwise I run around in leggings etc. Nobody gives a shit!

This!

I’ve always had quite muscular thighs. Now I’m nearing 70, I really appreciate them, as muscle wastage with age is real. Look after your legs, make the most of them.

I know how you feel! My inner thighs to me look awful. I run a lot and do weights.

My husband took a photo of me just after I'd ran a marathon and my first thought was "my legs look dumpy"!

I only do weights once a week with a PT - so I think I need to do more. I do lift them heavy though. Then cardio 40 miles plus running a week.

OP, you sound like you look great, but if you don’t want heavier thighs/bum then you could avoid squats.

I started doing them (with Joe Wicks 😂) and my thighs got bigger than I liked so now I avoid. You could try resistance floor work eg Pilates to stay nice and toned but avoid bulking up those muscles more.

Also check out Rachael Attard on Insta - she has great exercises for staying toned but not bulky.

I mean. Everyone has the right to do whatever they like with their own body. But I do have issues with the mindset of female muscle mass = "bulky".

Strong takes up space. And strong is good. The more muscle mass you can have on your body as you age, the better. To avoid building strength because of some idea that it's unfeminine is so toxic and self-defeating. I can't conceive of any man, or any genuine athlete for that matter, avoiding building muscle because it's "bulky" even if it means you can't wear some high street jeans brands. Strength is something to be proud of.

I can’t see the picture but it sounds like you have a typical weight lifters physique plus genetics.

Weight lifting gives you much more muscle, especially in your legs and bum.

Whereas running and Pilates give you a much leaner figure.

Hear. Hear.

Have you heard of Lipoedema (also spelled Lipedema in USA)? Sounds like you might potentially be stage 1 or 2 (mild) as you aren’t overweight but disproportionally heavy in the legs. Have a Google - I have this and it’s really helped me accept my body knowing it’s nothing I can change through diet or exercise. It’s a disorder where (usually in puberty, pregnancy or menopause) hormones cause the body to store fat on the legs and then it is not recognised as fat so can’t be lost through diet or exercise.