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Original poster

Can DD wear this to a Holy Communion?

127 replies

Crunchymum · 22/05/2023 15:18

MIL said "she can't wear white" but I assume that rule was just for weddings

Dress is white tea dress and will be with a multicolour cardi and white sandals

Can DD wear this to a Holy Communion?
OP posts:
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6
LynetteScavo · 22/05/2023 20:39

It's fine, especially with a coloured cardigan. I'd probably also give her a coloured hair ribbon. I assume she won't be wearing white shoes.

God won't care, the priest won't care, the other parents won't care. You might care when she's got chocolate or strawberries all over it, but that would happen with bay colour.

Aslanplustwo · 22/05/2023 20:40

Oh, here we go again with all the ridiculous, old fashioned "rules" (not that I've ever heard a rule about guests dressing at a communion!). It will be fine OP, and if she is wearing the cardigan with it then doubly fine.

Rubyupbeat · 22/05/2023 20:47

The best first holy communion I went to, was my friends boy triplets, it was a church used by the traveller community, the most fantastic child guest outfits, let alone those taking their fhc, so I wouldn't worry, God doesn't mind.

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gooseduckchicken · 22/05/2023 20:50

Someone on here once thought it would be an idea to dress up her dd so she didn't miss out but didn't understand its exactly like wearing a wedding dress to a wedding when you aren't the bride!

This is the daftest thing I have ever heard - a child wearing a communion dress is nothing like a guest wearing a wedding dress!

There could be 30 little girls in white dresses at a communion. Who would notice?

Honestly I feel that the people saying the dress isn't suitable are not Catholics and don't attend FHCs because there is nobody in any of the many parishes that I have been a part of that would comment on a 5 year old's dress.

Rubyupbeat · 22/05/2023 20:50

I am pretty sure your mil doesn't go to that many holy communions as they are usually only in May and June

Luredbyapomegranate · 22/05/2023 20:53

I come from a very middle class Catholic family and honestly no one will care - they’ll just be happy people are there.

It’s not like she’s upstaging a bride, there are a whole bunch of little girls in white. It wouldn’t matter if people thought she was one of them anyway.

Worry not

Findyourneutralspace · 22/05/2023 20:57

I don’t know if it’s different in Ireland but in the NW (UK) it would be fine, especially with a jazzy cardi. Holy communion is a nice dress up day for girls but it’s not got the same etiquette as a wedding. As long as she doesn’t waltz up to the alter, all is well.

FeelingwearyFeeelingsmall · 22/05/2023 21:22

I'm a Catholic and I think it's fine. Your MIL is being OTT

porridgeisbae · 22/05/2023 21:27

Why wear white? Unless it's her Holy Communion. Presumably she has more than one outfit and could wear something that's not white.

porridgeisbae · 22/05/2023 21:38

I just got my baptism/first Holy Communion (as a convert) and it would've seemed a bit odd to me for someone who wasn't having theirs that day to wear white and lacy/broderie anglaise etc. It has a particular symbolism in that ceremony of those taking part as communicants, of those particular individuals being reborn etc and purified. My sponsor/godmother wore a white/cream blazer and scarf but other colours for her blouse, skirt etc.

LlynTegid · 22/05/2023 21:40

Plenty of girls in white dresses at the first communions where I have been present, including almost all at the one in Antibes when I stayed there a few years ago.

Iwasafool · 22/05/2023 21:45

porridgeisbae · 22/05/2023 21:38

I just got my baptism/first Holy Communion (as a convert) and it would've seemed a bit odd to me for someone who wasn't having theirs that day to wear white and lacy/broderie anglaise etc. It has a particular symbolism in that ceremony of those taking part as communicants, of those particular individuals being reborn etc and purified. My sponsor/godmother wore a white/cream blazer and scarf but other colours for her blouse, skirt etc.

So what about boys in their suits or blazers and dark trousers? Aren't boys reborn and purified?

Lady1576 · 22/05/2023 21:45

Yes as a Catholic who has been in church for plenty of HCs, absolutely fine. With or without cardigan.

ourflagmeansdeath · 22/05/2023 21:47

Yes considering she's just 5 and I don't think it'd matter even if she were older, like you said it isn't a wedding.

Lady1576 · 22/05/2023 21:48

We have new converts every Easter so have been to loads of adult First Holy Communions and hardly anyone ever wore white. You are being precious!

Lady1576 · 22/05/2023 21:49

Lady1576 · 22/05/2023 21:48

We have new converts every Easter so have been to loads of adult First Holy Communions and hardly anyone ever wore white. You are being precious!

That was for @porridgeisbae

EarringsandLipstick · 22/05/2023 21:49

Lady1576 · 22/05/2023 21:48

We have new converts every Easter so have been to loads of adult First Holy Communions and hardly anyone ever wore white. You are being precious!

Way to go, completely missing the point, being rude to OP (who isn't precious at all!) and talking about adult ceremonies where they didn't, surprise, surprise, wear white!

EarringsandLipstick · 22/05/2023 21:50

@Lady1576 sorry I posted my reply before I saw you were intending yours for a specific poster, and not the OP!

Ladybrrrd · 22/05/2023 21:52

Maybe she'd like a little suit if you want her to be more formal. There are other options than dresses.

MrsMariaReynolds · 22/05/2023 21:56

It's absolutely fine. The FHC candidates are easy to spot, and she certainly won't be confused for one at 5 years old, or in a rainbow cardigan.

Parker231 · 22/05/2023 21:56

underneaththeash · 22/05/2023 20:36

No, she can't wear white unless it's her first holy communion.

Of course she can - she can wear whatever she wants. There aren’t rules. And people wonder why church attendance continues to decline.

SageRosemary · 22/05/2023 23:00

EarringsandLipstick · 22/05/2023 20:24

I have seen it done in Ireland, rented gowns for FHC just like the Confirmation gowns.

Curious Sage where in Ireland have you seen this? I've family & friends all over Ireland, have lived several places myself & now in Dublin, grew up in Munster.

I've never seen this. As much as it has points to recommend it, the boys & girls love getting dressed up, and there's no other opportunity to do so if not for the Communion ceremony. (Different for Confirmation, where they often wear their school uniforms & then get dressed up (or not) afterwards),

Cork, in the last couple of years, wasn't there myself but saw the group photos, they all looked lovely, boys and girls, and they have the choice to dress up as much as they want underneath.

SparkyBlue · 23/05/2023 14:31

It's absolutely fine OP. It's a summer dress and not a fhc dress. Your mil is being ridiculous . No one will bat an eyelid and I attend plenty of communion party's each year.

ferneytorro · 24/05/2023 11:08

mathanxiety · 22/05/2023 19:05

They're not 'made' to do anything, least of all by the RC church.

I live in a multicultural area. Children wear all sorts of outfits to FHC.

The big white dress thing is a purely cultural phenomenon, in some cases taken so seriously that it's a problem. There are many parish priests who request that all children, boys and girls alike, wear a simple altar server cassock because parents were going into debt buying outfits, turning FHC into a fashion show, and in many other ways failing to acknowledge the religious nature of the event.

Show quote history

Made by the representatives of the Catholic Church in my school then , that was my school experience, my parents bought into it wholeheartedly although I’d probably have been given lines/ hit by the nuns if I’d not complied.

SoShallINever · 24/05/2023 11:14

I'd just dress her in what she's comfortable in. My DD wore a football strip to her cousins. 😅

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