Reasons for school suspensions in private Vs state

[Foxesandsquirrels]

I'll preface this as obviously being very anecdotal but I have noticed that kids in my DDs circle of friends (mainly made up of swimming club, old primary and orchestra so all from a mix of local London state schools and private schools) have a very different experience with suspensions. From what I've observed and from what they've told me, it is quite common to get suspended (previously called fixed term exclusions) for things you wouldn't get suspended for in a private school. As an example three scenarios:

Example 1:

• Girl in private school brings wine in a water bottle to school and her and her friend drink it in 2 lessons. By break time they're tipsy and get caught. School confiscate the drink, send them home and they're back in the next day. I know one of the mums and she said they got a letter and had to pick her daughter up. She got a warning but no suspension.

• Girl in state school in DDs friendship group does the same as she thinks the above is funny. She gets caught, and is suspended for 5 days. No prior behaviour records. Never really gets into trouble.

Example 2:

• Boy in swimming team attends private school, different to one above. Gets caught with cannabis in school and is high. This is last day of term. This is confiscated and parents are called in. Boy is allowed back in school as normal beginning of new term.

• Boy in state school, this one is a grammar and different to one above, is caught with cannabis on him. Less in amount than Boy 1. This boy gets permanently excluded immediately.

Example 3:

• Boy in private school brings knife to school. He is caught with it and it's confiscated. He is allowed back in on the Monday. This happened on Thursday. My DD only knows about this as her friend from example 1 is in the same tutor as him and they all go swimming together. So this is the one I'm least confident in, but I have no reason to doubt it happened.

• My DD is in a Food Tech lesson and a boy in her class who does tend to mess about, decides it's a good idea to try to do the hand trick with his knife. Where you stab in between your fingers. SLT is called and he is permanently excluded.

Obviously these two incidents with the knife are different and I don't know the ins and outs. I'm also not criticising any of these schools in particular. They all have their policies and ways of working. I don't doubt they all want the best for their students and the safety of others.

These are just some examples, there's tons more but those I can't verify really but it has started to make me think, whether it's just my area or is this the case in general. Even when I worked in state schools, 10 years ago, kids got suspended quite easily, especially internal suspensions where they're in isolation for 5 or so days.
I know I'm in the unusual position of my DD having friends in various schools, but has anyone else noticed this?
Again, please note I'm not criticising any school, they can do what they want, I'm just wondering whether this is just anecdotal or it is indeed a 'thing'.

@DelurkingAJ Beating the school and leaving before the explosion is formal seems to be quite common in independents. Good to know there's lots of privates that are hot on this. Interesting that it seems to be boarding schools.

@pigalow27 So a kid tried to poison someone and they were allowed back?!

Yep!

Private school, sexual assault. Victim paid off by perpetrator's family. Victim leaves, perp remains. Money talks.

@ToHellBackAndBeyond wow. I'm speechless.

That's insane.

Gosh ! The independent schools you have contact with must be different from ours. Several days suspension for vaping, smoking, bullying, selling vapes to younger pupils, drinking alcohol or caught with it. All of these have a 'three strikes and you're out' approach.

The school has a metal detector used to scan for vapes. All phones must be handed in and locked away while on school premises. No exceptions.

Physically hitting someone without provocation (bad timing - the deputy head was behind the boy and witnessed it), suspended immediately, parents called into school and the pupil concerned did not return the following term.

@MintJulia Is this a boarding school?

Private schools can do what they want, essentially. They are individual and, on the plus side, can treat each incident as an isolated event and factor in their knowledge of the children concerned.

On the negative side though, I think they're often less organised and (ahem) experienced. Behaviour management can be inconsistent and- in some cases- it would be polite to say there was any policy at all.

....,but, not sure my views on this, I've also seen them getting rid of generally unpleasant students in the way you can't in a state. I'm talking bitchy girls, or boys who show persistent low level disruption. Not the sort of kids who get many detentions, but the sort who make other kids' lives miserable. Just advising them to move elsewhere.

@Curioushorse Yea, I can definitely see the benefits of them not having the red tape state schools are stuck with.