Should I let my daughter dye her hair?

riotlady · 19/05/2023 21:00

YABU. Teens want to experiment, hair can be dyed back, dyeing your hair doesn’t mean you’re overly concerned about your appearance.

PinkArt · 19/05/2023 21:00

I don't think it would have crossed my parents minds that they had a say in what my hair was like at 15. Especially if I was paying for a cut or colour myself.
Experimenting with looks, whether it's hair, make up, outfits etc, is incredibly common for teenagers. It's part of working out who they are becoming.

StillWantingADog · 19/05/2023 21:03

I’d be ok with it, if a balayage or highlights rather than all dyed.

would school be ok with it, that’s my first question

I might agree to pay if it was a reputable salon that I trusted (surely better than letting her diy) but I def would not be agreeing to paying for touch ups every 6 weeks! (Another reason not to go for all over colour which would look utterly rubbish 2 months down the line)

NancyJoan · 19/05/2023 21:03

It’s just her hair. Is she worried about her appearance, or just fancies being blonde? It’s so, so normal to want to experience with clothes/hair/make-up. It’s not a pierced nose or a tattoo.

OneMoreCookieMonster · 19/05/2023 21:06

A reputable salon will not colour a child's hair under 16. They are not covered insurance wise and it's against manufacturers directions for safe use of the product.

OneMoreCookieMonster · 19/05/2023 21:06

This includes with parental permission.

Mommasgotabrandnewbag · 19/05/2023 21:07

She's 15, it's nothing to do with you really. Find her a decent salon and let her have at it.

BreviloquentBastard · 19/05/2023 21:09

I started dying my hair at 14 and it had nothing to do with being worried about my appearance, and everything to do with wanting to experiment with my look and have blue hair for funsies. My daughter is 15 and I wouldn't even consider her needing to ask my permission, she can dye her hair if she wants to, as long as she doesn't destroy my bathroom in the process.

Not letting her dye her hair because "there are bigger things to worry about" is absolutely moronic. If you live by that ethos you should just wear a bin bag and never go anywhere or do anything because there will always be bigger things to worry about. Indulging in the little fun things is often what makes the big things bearable.

wildfirewonder · 19/05/2023 21:11

If a salon will I think at 15 it is up to her.

chipsandpeas · 19/05/2023 21:18

its hair
it will grow out or be cut off

ICMB · 19/05/2023 21:22

I’m the only one who thinks it’s a bit weird, she’s only 14 and to be bleach blonde? I’d be unsure too.

HelloDD · 19/05/2023 21:23

BreviloquentBastard · 19/05/2023 21:09

I started dying my hair at 14 and it had nothing to do with being worried about my appearance, and everything to do with wanting to experiment with my look and have blue hair for funsies. My daughter is 15 and I wouldn't even consider her needing to ask my permission, she can dye her hair if she wants to, as long as she doesn't destroy my bathroom in the process.

Not letting her dye her hair because "there are bigger things to worry about" is absolutely moronic. If you live by that ethos you should just wear a bin bag and never go anywhere or do anything because there will always be bigger things to worry about. Indulging in the little fun things is often what makes the big things bearable.

The OP is from the daughter in question.

I’m the mother.

I’m worried that she’s so concerned about her appearance, she already does the usual fake tan, eyelashes etc so I’m worried about her needing more to feel confident about herself. That’s what she means by ‘bigger things to worry about’. It’s more that I’m sad she’s so concerned about her appearance. She spends so much time on her appearance as it is. I’m worried that letting her do this is making it worse.

I’m worried about the upkeep and the effect on the condition of her hair. I’ve already paid quite a lot for her to get dodgy brown dye fixed once (2 appts of colour stripping and smudged highlights to get her back to ‘natural’).

YouCantBeSadHoldingACupcake · 19/05/2023 21:23

My dc have been allowed to dye theirs from around 13, and temporary colours before that, but I've put a 16 age limit on for bleaching their hair. Mainly because I destroyed my hair in my teens by bleaching it.

DietrichandDiMaggio · 19/05/2023 21:26

She is willing to pay using her own money she has saved but I’m really worried she shouldn’t be that worried about her appearance. She says it will make her happy however I think there are bigger things to be worried about.

Why do you say she is worried about her appearance -surely she just fancies experimenting a bit. Why do you want her to be worrying about anything? It comes across as if you think it's trivial to care about what you look like.

Original poster

Happyhedgehog443 · 19/05/2023 21:27

I do mascara not “eyelashes” i’m not a chav

OP posts:

NewPinkJacket · 19/05/2023 21:29

Oh FFS must we?

I know it's a slow Friday night but really 🙄

midnightblue12 · 19/05/2023 21:29

I started colouring my hair when I was in year 8 🙈
I went to our hairdressing salon and my mum was all excited asking if I wanted it done! Still have the same hair dresser now some 19 or so years later!

Personally I think you should let her do it! Experimenting with her hair and clothes and make up etc is all part of her growing up and figuring out who she is and what she wants to look like and how she can express herself. I get your concerns but just let her be young and have fun! Get involved and go with her or look at pictures. She'll remember the first time getting her hair done so make it fun!

museumum · 19/05/2023 21:29

Be very careful op.
At age 14/15 my parents were very very vocal about how I should “worry about more important things” and it left scars. I wasn’t then (and to some extent even now) able to take pleasure in fashion or makeup or hair. I

deep down feel it’s shameful to care enough to want to look better but also feel bad that I don’t dress well or look groomed.

it’s normal and natural at 14/15 to experiment with fashion and beauty and I really wish I hadn’t been conditioned to feel bad about that.

HelloDD · 19/05/2023 21:31

midnightblue12 · 19/05/2023 21:29

I started colouring my hair when I was in year 8 🙈
I went to our hairdressing salon and my mum was all excited asking if I wanted it done! Still have the same hair dresser now some 19 or so years later!

Personally I think you should let her do it! Experimenting with her hair and clothes and make up etc is all part of her growing up and figuring out who she is and what she wants to look like and how she can express herself. I get your concerns but just let her be young and have fun! Get involved and go with her or look at pictures. She'll remember the first time getting her hair done so make it fun!

It’s not her first time. She’s already done

diy highlights which have all broken off
dark dye which needed to be stripped after six months and the two lots of highlights put in

MaydinEssex · 19/05/2023 21:31

I was 14 or 15 when I first started having highlights, my parents weren't even consulted about it.

DietrichandDiMaggio · 19/05/2023 21:31

Ffs this is confusing -so the OP is a reverse, we have the daughter pretending to be the mother, the mother posting under another username and then the daughter answering as herself under the original username.🙄

Inkypot · 19/05/2023 21:31

I wanted to bleach mine around that age and my mum made me wait until I was 16 and encouraged me to start with just a sun kissed highlights look. Looking back she did the right thing making me wait and making sure I didn't rush into something I might regret.
Having said that- it's been nearly 30 years and I still bleach it and now it's all over blonde not just sun kissed so no I didn't regret it 😄

But your other comment has me totally confused? Are you the mum or the child? What 15 yr old is on mumsnet?
I wouldn't mind my daughter experimenting with hair colour at 15, I would not be happy if she felt the need to do fake tan and fake eyelashes etc though as to me that suggests a lot of insecurity in her natural looks which is kind of sad. I would say the same about an adult who relies on fake tan and lashes etc as a daily look.

greenspaces4peace · 19/05/2023 21:31

here's the thing @Happyhedgehog443 i agree with your mom@HelloDD ,
it's the upkeep and the fixing it back when it all starts to look like a dogs breakfast.
do you have a job to get it redone/fixed should a solid 2-4 regrowth look dreadful (which it always does)?
school is still in and your under 16 yrs.

PlatBilledDuckypuss · 19/05/2023 21:32

Don't let her do it at home. Hair dye cannot be removed from the grouting in bathroom tiles. It stains permanently. You have to dig the damn stuff out and re-grout! Looking at you DD2!

HelloDD · 19/05/2023 21:32

I have not said she should worry about more important things. I’m worried she is very focused on a perfect Instagram look of highlights etc. And it seems expensive and a lot of hassle for a 14 year old.

Should I let my daughter dye her hair?

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