Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

At what age does this become inappropriate?

32 replies

Gladragson · 17/05/2023 23:29

At what age does it become inappropriate for a child to sleep naked with their parent of the opposite sex? Parent wearing t-shirt and pants but the child wearing nothing?

OP posts:
Rogue1001MNer · 17/05/2023 23:36

The age that the child feels uncomfortable.
9ish in DD's case

BananaPalm · 17/05/2023 23:46

WTF? For me it would be first weird and then inappropriate from day 1. The child should be wearing some underwear at least!

Zeonlywayisup · 17/05/2023 23:48

well they’re usually dressed as babies to keep them warm so why start the nude thing?

MonkeyPuddle · 17/05/2023 23:52

Well DS was in the nude last night in bed with me as he wee’d himself and I stripped him, stuck him on the loo, flannel’d him and laid him on a couple of towels in the nuddy cos he was almost asleep again. He’s almost 6. Didn’t cross my mind it would be weird.

Kitcaterpillar · 17/05/2023 23:54

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Barleysugar86 · 17/05/2023 23:55

I've never done this- i wouldn't want a gross kid bottom on my sheets for a start

MrsDoylesDoily · 17/05/2023 23:55

BananaPalm · 17/05/2023 23:46

WTF? For me it would be first weird and then inappropriate from day 1. The child should be wearing some underwear at least!

Why 'should' they be if for example they don't want to?

OP, the answer is the age where the child is no longer comfortable.

mercibucketed · 17/05/2023 23:57

I've never had to think about this

My DS sleeps in his boxers but he's 8 and hasn't slept in my bed since he was 3

DD is 22m and still in nappies

It's just not something we'd do as a family. I knock my son's door when I'm going into his room, but he'll happily shower/bathe when I'm in the bathroom pottering about

So anyway, to answer the question: I don't think there's ever any need for a child to be naked in bed with an adult, but if so - I'd say 3 onwards is inappropriate

Kanaloa · 17/05/2023 23:58

I encourage my children to wear appropriate clothing, even if it’s just some shorts. They need bodily autonomy and privacy whenever possible. Generally I think if you have to ask ‘when is this inappropriate’ it’s probably now.

maidmarianne · 18/05/2023 00:02

Kanaloa · 17/05/2023 23:58

I encourage my children to wear appropriate clothing, even if it’s just some shorts. They need bodily autonomy and privacy whenever possible. Generally I think if you have to ask ‘when is this inappropriate’ it’s probably now.

If the child wants to be naked, then they are expressing their bodily autonomy!

Wanttobefree2 · 18/05/2023 00:04

Barleysugar86 · 17/05/2023 23:55

I've never done this- i wouldn't want a gross kid bottom on my sheets for a start

I'm the same, my kids have always wore underwear for this exact reason

Kanaloa · 18/05/2023 00:05

maidmarianne · 18/05/2023 00:02

If the child wants to be naked, then they are expressing their bodily autonomy!

Show quote history

That’s about my bodily autonomy. You shouldn’t be naked in bed with adults, and you shouldn’t be naked in bed with anyone who doesn’t want you naked in bed with them. Which I don’t.

xprincessxjanetx · 18/05/2023 00:10

Never? Just would not cross my mind. All 6 of my DC wear pyjamas and they range in age from 15 months to almost 13 years.

Darkchocolatekitkat · 18/05/2023 00:26

Unless in bath/shower/actively changing I expect everyone in this household to be wearing a minimum of at least pants for hygiene reasons. Beyond that I wouldn’t have a particular set age in mind, but I do think it should be a completely free choice by the child and there should be an available separate bed from preschool age upwards.

QueenoftheAngles · 18/05/2023 00:30

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Yfory · 18/05/2023 00:41

First ever post by this username I think?
Glad Drag Son........

Please dont comment I doubt they are asking for genuine reasons.

Stigsmother · 18/05/2023 01:34

I read it as glad rags on.......

Original poster
Gladragson · 18/05/2023 01:38

Yfory · 18/05/2023 00:41

First ever post by this username I think?
Glad Drag Son........

Please dont comment I doubt they are asking for genuine reasons.

I'm a regular poster but name changed for this, I literally just changed it to the first thing that came into my head which was 'glad rags on' because I have clothes hanging up for a wedding coming up which I was looking at...

Thanks for the responses. It was just to gauge as my stepson revealed tonight that he sleeps naked with his mum. He's 7 and I wasn't sure if it was normal at that age or not. For context stepson lives with us and has fortnightly overnights with his mum as he was removed from her care due to other concerns, hence the worry and why I wanted to know if it was normal at that age.

OP posts:
Original poster
Gladragson · 18/05/2023 01:39

Stigsmother · 18/05/2023 01:34

I read it as glad rags on.......

Cross-posted but yes, that's what it's supposed to be!

OP posts:
determinedtomakethiswork · 18/05/2023 01:40

In the case you have given, I think it is very inappropriate that he sleeps naked with his mother.

BodyKeepingScore · 18/05/2023 01:49

determinedtomakethiswork · 18/05/2023 01:40

In the case you have given, I think it is very inappropriate that he sleeps naked with his mother.

Why is it inappropriate? My DD8 insists on sleeping naked, she's always overheated in bed no matter what fabric her pjs were or what bed linen we use. There are many nights she wakes through the night and climbs in beside me (I wear pjs or t shirt nighties). Should I be insisting she gets dressed before she gets into bed beside me? Is the implication that there's a sexual undertone to a mother sharing a bed with her child naked? What's the magical age where it becomes inappropriate for a parent to be around their child's naked body?

Original poster
Gladragson · 18/05/2023 02:00

BodyKeepingScore · 18/05/2023 01:49

Why is it inappropriate? My DD8 insists on sleeping naked, she's always overheated in bed no matter what fabric her pjs were or what bed linen we use. There are many nights she wakes through the night and climbs in beside me (I wear pjs or t shirt nighties). Should I be insisting she gets dressed before she gets into bed beside me? Is the implication that there's a sexual undertone to a mother sharing a bed with her child naked? What's the magical age where it becomes inappropriate for a parent to be around their child's naked body?

Show quote history

I don't think that there's a sexual undertone to it but there are a lot of things which seem to happen at their mum's house which I can only describe as bizarre. One of them being that she doesn't allow stepson to wear underwear, even when he wants to. Initially we thought that this was due to not having clean underwear as she can be quite chaotic however DSS has told us on a number of occasions now when he has come home from there without underwear on that he asked her for underwear but she refused to let him wear any. We have no idea the reason why.
My child is much younger so I wasn't sure if sleeping naked was normal at that age or if it comes under the bracket of some of the strange things that seems to go on there and that we need to keep an eye on.
There's much more to what happens at her home than this, but don't want to go into too much detail.

OP posts:
LBFseBrom · 18/05/2023 02:19

MonkeyPuddle · 17/05/2023 23:52

Well DS was in the nude last night in bed with me as he wee’d himself and I stripped him, stuck him on the loo, flannel’d him and laid him on a couple of towels in the nuddy cos he was almost asleep again. He’s almost 6. Didn’t cross my mind it would be weird.

That was a one off and your son is only six. It was also for understandable reasons.

I've not come across anyone whose child sleeps completely naked, they usually at least wear underclothes if too hot for pjs or nightie. I wouldn't say it is too hot at the moment.

Op, if your stepson wants to wear something in bed surely he will say so, the same with underwear during the day. If this is just his mother's idea it is weird, she needs to take his wishes into consideration.

sunshineandtea · 18/05/2023 02:24

My DD (no.3) is the only one who likes to sleep naked. I try and encourage her to have pants on but she prefers to be in the buff 🙄

In your case, the fact she won't ALLOW HIM UNDERPANTS is very alarming. I'd be seeking to her social worker asap it's wrong. Poor boy

Original poster
Gladragson · 18/05/2023 02:38

LBFseBrom · 18/05/2023 02:19

That was a one off and your son is only six. It was also for understandable reasons.

I've not come across anyone whose child sleeps completely naked, they usually at least wear underclothes if too hot for pjs or nightie. I wouldn't say it is too hot at the moment.

Op, if your stepson wants to wear something in bed surely he will say so, the same with underwear during the day. If this is just his mother's idea it is weird, she needs to take his wishes into consideration.

Show quote history

He just recently started asking us if he could sleep naked, saying he was too hot but my DH told him to sleep with pants on. We didn't know then that he was sleeping naked at his mum's. When he first came to live with us he often wouldn't put underwear on unless we specifically told him to, but I think that's just because he was used to not wearing any. Now he always does, unless he's coming back from his mum's.

OP posts: