Are all washing machines liars?

[AnImaginaryCat]

Or have I just been unfortunate?

Up to this point I think I've been a gullable fool and just thought it was me misjudging.

But I've caught this one out. I timed it. Now I know for sure that it regularly* pretends there's one minute left when it's actually over two minutes.

• I say regularly, I'm suspicious it's always but I've not timed other programmes, so I'm giving the benefit of the doubt.

Someone needs to invent a machine where you can tell it when you want it to finish and it can start whenever it likes as long as it finishes on time.

Mine lies like an adulterer!
It tells me it's got ten minutes left and when I look again it tells me it's got 15 minutes left.
The gaslighting fucker clearly hasn't learned basic maths yet!

I think it is supposed to me 1 min left on the actual bit of the programme it is on[as going by the series of lights it goes down] if you see what I mean.

Mine not only lies but it actually says 'NO' to me sometimes!! What's that all about?!

The display screen will appear with the word NO, I fiddle about with it until it gets on with the washing.

That last 1 minute is the longest minute in the world. At least 3 minutes actual time.

Mine is a total and utter liar, the culprit is Bosch serie6, on the hour wash it takes well over, and I know this for a fact as my dishwasher also Bosch takes 1hr 13 mins on speed wash setting. I put them on at the same time and the dishwasher always ends the cycle first.

Mine has give up pretending to be a truthful machine, and is now quite blatantly, even smugly, telling me it has only 2 minutes left when it’s invariably double that.
it forces me to stand in front of it to watch the timer not going down. I’m wondering if it’s really attention-seeking, or lonely?

I have one of those, then it beeps at me if I do not attend to its every need the second it's finished

It has issues

We call it ‘The Eternal Minute of Doom’ here.

My Bosch is normally pretty good, but with all of the electronic weighing & calculation wizardry it can readjust mid cycle, so it shows 10 mins remaining, then 13 mins, then 20, then oo, it’s at 8mins, oh no, back to 11 mins.

And the default time to do a 40° standard wash? 2hrs 49 mins. Which it then thinks about when you start the programme, and flashes a ‘bugger that, I’ll do it in 1hr 56 mins. No! 1hr 35mins. Actually, sod that, it will take 2hrs 49 mins after all’ message.

It drives me hatstand.

My Mum’s year old Hotpoint is the originator of the Eternal Minute of Doom. On a particularly crabby day (I swear it’s sentient), the blooming thing gave us a 23min Eternal Minute of Doom. No issues with an unbalanced load, no weird programming requests, I swear it knew I had to do Mum’s care call promptly due to my own doctor’s appointment that morning, so did it just to spite me.

By a quirk of circumstance, I actually have ‘Electronics Engineer’ on my marriage certificate (the closest the Registrar could match to my job at the time) so I fully understand the ins & outs of electronic electrickery, but notwithstanding, I still fully believe Mum’s Hotpoint isn’t just sentient, it actually hates me.

Oh mine beeps too. Never had that before (this is my third one- best relationship was with the second one, now now sure if that's because I never timed it.)

It's very demanding. Beeps immediately after its eternal last one minute. The again one minute later. The again 10 minutes later. Loudly too.

Also can't help noticing these are all true minutes

Most domestic appliances lie. Also, my new car is not only a liar but a drama queen and a hypochondriac.

Mine seems to have a really long 8 minute too. Stays on 8 for ages sometimes.
As for the spiteful clicking, mine does trick clicks... stand there, wait for a click, then try to open... nope, tricked ya! I imagine it's probably silently laughing at my gullibility.

Mine doesn't lie, but changes! I will check and it says 10 minutes left. Go back 10 mins later and it will say something like 16 minutes! It does weigh the load and adjusts as it goes, but drives you mad when you're waiting to get it out!

LTB

Mine tends to delay showing the 'door open' symbol only when i'm actually waiting for the thing to finish before I leave for an appointment ! Normally it beeps finished and by the time I go in its unlocked - except for when I NEED to be somewhere and have timed my exit to the last millisecond. Then it decides it needs another 5 minutes to cool down after it's spin exertions

Yes all mine have been lying twats,some are.blatant about it and some like to pretend a minute is actually longer than it should be😡

My old washing machine used to lie like a cheap rug. My new one stretches the truth sometimes, but is far more believable - sometimes even early.

Mine lies about the last minute which is closer to 5. Meanwhile I'm hopping about checking my watch because I want to be heading out and transferring the load into the dryer so that can dry using the solar power, and I can get another load in.
Yet the interminable minute continues.

When the minute does eventually deign to reach its conclusion, I am obliged to ceremoniously wait through the beep ceremony which most not be interrupted like Terry Wogan and The Pips.

Meanwhile my plans to leave the house happily prior to the nick of time zone have crumpled into dust and sweaty anxiousness.

They do it deliberately when they know you’re in a hurry, dragging out that last minute for several, whilst the display still smugly tells you it’s one.

They don't lie anywhere near as much as their best mates Tumbles do!

Yes. Gaslighting bastards.

This would I suspect be open to abuse. You'd literally be telling your machine when you need it finished so it could take 3 minutes longer. The correct course if action would be to tell the machine you need it done 20 minutes earlier than is true. Kind of when I arrange to meet my chaotic ADHD friend whose timekeeping is woeful.

Not only are they liars, but they’re thieves too. They seem to have a fixation with stealing socks - well the ones that the dog doesn’t steal first that is.

This is when a 3 year old comes in handy.

'Beep beep-beep-beep beep beep beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep' etc

'Oh mummy washing done!'

These machines have the same 'lie' chip as those 'real time' bus arrival display boards imo.

It's all a conspiracy to make us lose touch with reality, you mark my words.