How do I word this to child?

[Doodoododdledoo]

I nanny for a family and this includes picking up their 6 year old from school and walking home.

Now I will start by saying I do actually sometimes buy them a little sweet or something as a treat but I work part time and money is very tight for me. But child is always asking for me to buy them something if we pop into the shop when I get a bottle of water or asking me to get them something nice from the bakery. The parents do provide snacks and water for them on the way home which are sometimes fruit but also crisps on occasion.

Obviously buying her things out of my own money for them isn’t my responsibility but I just don’t know how to quite word this to them. I have said things in the past like ‘you have a snack in your bag’ ‘we will get you something to eat at home’ but this child is used to parents buying her something while out and that’s what they are getting at, it’s not really about it being something that’s considered a treat. Even if they have crisps in their bag, they want me to buy them crisps in the shop etc.

Please help me phrase it right because I don’t know the best way to explain that her mummy and daddy buy her things because they are her parents and that’s not my job. As it does make me sad that I know all she is hearing with the reasons I give her now is “no”.

How is it perfect? You've brought the child treats before and so will other people who aren't mummy or daddy.

@HeyDemonsItsYaGirl agree - it's a rubbish response.

Just say "no, you have snacks in the bag and if you don't want them you can wait until we get home."

That's what I say to my children when they ask for something I'm not willing to buy.

Well I would definitely start taking a water bottle with you - what a waste of money buying it all the time!

I think what people are getting at is that what you want to say, and what you are trying to word to the child, is already overthinking it?

If the kid has a bag of crisps and also wants you to buy crisps, the answer is 'oh look, you already have some/a snack of some kind!' Not an explanation that you shouldn't have to buy it for them / can't afford that everyday and be worrying that they expect you to cos their mum and dad does.

I expected a monkey for my 6th birthday because I put it on my birthday list....my mum very easily corrected that notion and that was that!

Obviously, a child needs to be able to be taken into a shop and told No when it asks for things.

The standard answer from me would just be "that's not what we came in for, if you are hungry/thirsty you have your snack/drink in your bag."
I would say this every time she asks on every trip.

I'm a little surprised that a nanny with ten years' experience needs help with something so basic and essentially trivial.

I'm saying "it's not rocket salad" from this day forth. And I think everyone else should as well.

I'm completely on board with 'it's not rocket salad' being the new phrase, that tickled me!

Bussteward needs to come back to this thread to take credit for this great turn of phrase

Agreed

I’d just explain that sweets and cakes are treat food, not for every day and she has snacks that mum and dad provide for her. Then distract her and change the subject, if she complains to her parents they can have the conversation about expectations of snacks in a way they’re happy with. No need to get into who does/doesn’t have money or anything more complicated than that.

I'd talk to parents and ask for a petty cash float. Or you say to her that her parents buy treats, not you.

I stole it from elsewhere on Mumsnet and can’t remember who! But things like that are why I’ll never quit this infernal time sucking website.

Ahem

Yes. Just say no.