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Original poster

Weird one about child photo consent

47 replies

Toloveandtowork · 14/05/2023 18:31

My son who is 12 was recently temporarily moved to a small school for children with behavioural problems. Year 7.

He likes it there, and I'm happy about that.

However, when filling out the entry forms, I didn't give permission for my son's photo to be used in promotional material or the new school's website.

I don't know why, but I am now being badgered to change my mind, and wonder why this is important to them.
Maybe something to do with diversity in their online pictures. That's all I can think of.

I didn't think it was a big deal to not consent. My son will attend the school for around four months only. I don't think they change the pictures often so it's not that either.

Can anybody think of other reasons, and comment on if I'm being unreasonable or not as I am being led to believe that I am by them.

OP posts:
TheSnowyOwl · 14/05/2023 18:32

I’m guessing most say yes and they double checked with you but you weren’t firm enough that it was a definite no or else someone else is checking because they didn’t realise. Just ask them not to contact you again about it.

35965a · 14/05/2023 18:33

You’re not being unreasonable at all. It’s up to you and they should not be pressuring you to change your mind. Be firm.

smearfears · 14/05/2023 18:33

The only thing I can think of is it makes their job easier for picking which filtering photos to upload. They won't have to filter through to exclude your son

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smearfears · 14/05/2023 18:34

But it is not unreasonable. I have said no for my children too due to who their grandmother is (not well known but her lifestyle choices are very questionable)

Danikm151 · 14/05/2023 18:34

They shouldn’t pressure you to give permission.

TeenDivided · 14/05/2023 18:34

Just to check, did you actively refuse consent or just not return the form?

It will be a bit of a pain not to have consent in a smaller school as they may have to actively remove him from shot. if you just didn't return the form I can see why they might nag you a bit.

But if you actively refused consent they should run with it.

it is your right to not consent.

MojacaSunset · 14/05/2023 18:34

Probably makes it easier for staff when everyone consents as they don't have to take time to edit out pupils from photos they share.

SE13Mummy · 14/05/2023 18:41

It's not unreasonable for you to not consent to his image being used at all. Are you definitely being badgered or was the form one of those where it could look as though you overlooked ticking the consent box?

I teach in a PRU-type setting and every time a new student joins, the class teacher will double check with the parent about photo consent. Sometimes the students themselves will say they're OK with photos going on the class page of the website even though their parents haven't given consent. Any time that happens I would absolutely check with the parent (and if a parent said yes but their child said no, I wouldn't post the photo on the class page). One of the things that can be tricky in a small setting is that if there are only 5/6 students in a class, it can be harder to take quick photos of them doing something whilst making sure the no-consent children are left out. It's not the end of the world and I certainly wouldn't make a thing of it but it does mean there are fewer natural/group shots of the class on our web page.

Original poster
Toloveandtowork · 14/05/2023 18:45

Thanks for the replies. I sent the form back and ticked to not consent to photos.

They had a minor celebrity in and keep saying how lovely the one of my son with the celeb is and can they use it.

With group photos, I understand it's a pain for them and it would look weird with him somehow edited out or his face blurred.

I've been asked twice since filling in the form when he started.

OP posts:
Original poster
Toloveandtowork · 14/05/2023 18:46

Asked twice, once for a group photo, and again with the celeb.

OP posts:
TeenDivided · 14/05/2023 18:48

To be fair to them, we always said no consent, but there would have been some occasions we would have been OK with, but black and white is easier for all concerned.

Original poster
Toloveandtowork · 14/05/2023 18:53

@SE13Mummy Thanks for the reply. Out of curiosity, how many parents consent to photos at the school you work at?

My son said he was fine with the photos (they asked him after I'd filled in the form not giving consent) so perhaps that's why I'm being asked two more times. I have yet to reply to the second request and feel it's a bit weird.

OP posts:
Kyliealwayshadthebestdisco · 14/05/2023 19:16

They shouldn’t be badgering you if you’ve given a firm no but if your son is excited and happy about being in photos and asking when he can see them etc that could be a reason. I’m a Cub leader and it’s a real pain making sure the “no consent” kids are excluded or blurred/cropped so I always do say to parents that we will always respect their wishes and we understand some people have very good reason to say no, however it makes our lives significantly easier if they consent if they are on the fence and don’t have super strong feelings about it, so to consider it carefully. If they do then say no I sometimes double check with them again because then some parents are funny about their child being pulled aside or cropped out of photos, or the child themselves can be confused about why they can’t pose right in the middle of the photo or express upset not to see themselves in photos etc.

Kyliealwayshadthebestdisco · 14/05/2023 19:21

At age 12 a child might feel quite upset to have their own wishes over something like this overruled by parents so it’s possible this is the school trying to speak up for what the child wants unless there are good reasons not to. I do think some parents just don’t consider it that carefully and give an automatic no without realising the full impact on the child and it is a little unusual for a child this age to not be in alignment and agreement with parents on it if it’s that important to you (eg kids who have fled domestic abuse etc. are super cautious to duck out of the way if anybody so much as reaches for their phone), so they’re maybe just double checking whether you’ve thought it through if that’s what the child wants. To be asking you again it must be important either to the school or the child. Some parents do change their mind as time goes on etc. But you’re within your rights to say no “and don’t ask me again” if it’s a firm no.

AtrociousCircumstance · 14/05/2023 19:23

Say no and clearly say ‘and this won’t change so please do not ask again’.

drpet49 · 14/05/2023 19:25

35965a · 14/05/2023 18:33

You’re not being unreasonable at all. It’s up to you and they should not be pressuring you to change your mind. Be firm.

This

Reugny · 14/05/2023 19:28

I do think some parents just don’t consider it that carefully and give an automatic no without realising the full impact on the child

@Kyliealwayshadthebestdisco

That is ridiculous post.

At 12 most of my nephews and nieces were happy to have their photos on websites but by the age of 16 all but one of them wanted all photos removed.

This is why children aren't considered competent in all areas of life and parents make decisions for them.

Floralie · 14/05/2023 19:29

You aren't being unreasonable, it might be worth just being super clear with them that when you said no it includes everything. Personally I didn't give consent as I don't think it should be up to me whether their photo is used on a website or published somewhere of the schools choosing- when they're old enough to make their own choice they can do; we don't post photos on social media or anything either although I guess people might find that strange.

Maybe something to do with diversity in their online pictures.

Maybe, the head even asked me if I'd reconsider as they didn't have any other mixed race children in DS1s year and they thought it would be great to include him. Hmmm I wasn't amused to be honest.

Irridescantshimmmer · 14/05/2023 19:50

Images of kids can be manipulated and used on the dark web and surface web..

You have the right, as a parent to decline consent on the grounds that images can be manipulated online for nefarious purposes. Your childs online safety is of paramount importance to you, and for this reason you decline consent for your childs image to be used in promotional material online or otherwise.

Sounds like I swallowed a legal bible or something! Re-word it as much as you like but this is what I would say.

I also think they should not be pecking your head like a bunch of rabied turkeys over consent, after all, no means no.

SE13Mummy · 14/05/2023 19:56

Toloveandtowork · 14/05/2023 18:53

@SE13Mummy Thanks for the reply. Out of curiosity, how many parents consent to photos at the school you work at?

My son said he was fine with the photos (they asked him after I'd filled in the form not giving consent) so perhaps that's why I'm being asked two more times. I have yet to reply to the second request and feel it's a bit weird.

It varies from year to year. Last year, out of the eight in my class, five had consent from parents/carers but one of those didn't want their photo anywhere so the class page on the website only ever featured four children. Some of them were happy for their work to be photographed and to be shared online (with no reference to their name as is standard) and some of them were happy to be photographed and for a copy of the photo to be sent home with them in hard copy.

This year, eight out of nine have consent but they like to choose the photos that get shared - they also have a lot of input in the taking of the photos, "Mrs SE13, you should take a photo of this for the website!".

pecantoucan · 14/05/2023 19:58

MojacaSunset · 14/05/2023 18:34

Probably makes it easier for staff when everyone consents as they don't have to take time to edit out pupils from photos they share.

Tough shit

pecantoucan · 14/05/2023 20:00

Toloveandtowork · 14/05/2023 18:45

Thanks for the replies. I sent the form back and ticked to not consent to photos.

They had a minor celebrity in and keep saying how lovely the one of my son with the celeb is and can they use it.

With group photos, I understand it's a pain for them and it would look weird with him somehow edited out or his face blurred.

I've been asked twice since filling in the form when he started.

You're doing the right thing. You didn't want to consent and the fact there's a celebrity doesn't some how make it any more likely for you to consent. If your son isn't there for long it's even weirder. It does sound like your son might be one of the more photogenic members of the school or perhaps your right if you think it's a race thing

pecantoucan · 14/05/2023 20:04

@Kyliealwayshadthebestdisco

I always do say to parents that we will always respect their wishes and we understand some people have very good reason to say no, however it makes our lives significantly easier if they consent if they are on the fence and don’t have super strong feelings about it, so to consider it carefully please stop doing that. It shouldn't be about making your lives easier. If they are on the fence it should be a no until they are off the damn fence.

pecantoucan · 14/05/2023 20:06

@Floralie 😮that's shocking I'd be tempted to report that to ofsted

Thehonestybox · 14/05/2023 20:08

My job involves taking photos of child friendly events - yeah it just makes the job slightly more difficult to filter out the nonconsent kids if you get a really good picture of children looking like they're having fun (much rarer than you think!).

I just get the consent kids to wear a sticker though, it's not that hard.