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Original poster

Ex has had at least 2 one night stands - WWYD?

32 replies

Conundrumtime1 · 11/05/2023 10:06

Dont have any kind of relationship with Ex H. We don’t have much contact really as he doesn’t want to see children/ children do not want to him, if any at all it goes through my DP as he was extremely abusive to me and the children when we were married. We have been separated 7 years and we are both married to other people, they have been together longer than us.

I have been told some information from an extremely reliable source. He’s slept with two different women while away for the weekend with work last year.

I don’t know his wife, he’s told her that I am the extremely abusive one, I won’t go into details but that we engage in illegal activities etc, she seems pretty scared of me, puts her head down if I’m in the car, hides behind the door on the odd occasion I’ve seen her. I know that she came from an abusive relationship previously and I’ve always been concerned for her and her children that she’d come from one abusive man and I knew she’d ended up with another one. He also cheated on me while we were married. Do I just ignore what I’ve been told as it’s none of my business? I have no way of telling her, but regardless she would never believe me.

OP posts:
dontlookbackyourenotgoingthatway · 11/05/2023 10:08

What do you mean by illegal activities?

Otherwise I'd keep the hell out of this. Not your problem anymore

Thewitcherswolf · 11/05/2023 10:09

Not your problem. I would stay well out of it.

MrsSkylerWhite · 11/05/2023 10:10

I wouldn’t get involved.

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Relationship problems
Whiskers4 · 11/05/2023 10:11

I really would stay out of it. You don't want a confrontation with your ex.

BillyNoM8s · 11/05/2023 10:11

Well, you could write to her if you really wanted to let her know, I guess.

But if you sign your name you'll be hearing all sorts from him and if you do it anonymously it'll probably get brushed off or explained away as some other woman's jealousy.

I probably wouldn't bother in this instance.

Why doesn't the meddling gossip tell her, instead talking behind her back?

wildfirewonder · 11/05/2023 10:12

Why on earth would you even think of telling her? This is simply gossip, you have seen nothing with your own eyes.

Your ex is barely in your life, and it sounds like that is best for the children - do not prod the hornet's nest.

I mean this kindly but I think it is extremely strange you are even discussing his personal life. I would shut down any conversation about him in future, focus on you and your kids.

Whenisitsummer · 11/05/2023 10:12

Just ignore it. I’d only ever tell someone this if they were a close friend. Anyone else will just think you have an ulterior motive for interfering.

ImustLearn2Cook · 11/05/2023 10:12

If she thinks that you were the abusive one then she probably won’t believe you. Stay out of it.

Original poster
Conundrumtime1 · 11/05/2023 10:14

@dontlookbackyourenotgoingthatway its a bit too outing to post here, but accusations from him. We’ve been checked over by the police and cleared, twice.

OP posts:
TheLovleyChebbyMcGee · 11/05/2023 10:16

I'd ignore it, she'll only think you are lying to cause trouble. She'll figure it all out one day poor woman

Original poster
Conundrumtime1 · 11/05/2023 10:18

Thank you all. You’re right not to get involved think I know this deep down. I just feel for her.

OP posts:
Isheabastard · 11/05/2023 10:30

I think you are right to keep out of it, but understand why you feel concern for this woman.

If your reliable source cared enough to tell you, would they tell his wife?

AP5Diva · 11/05/2023 10:35

Give the reliable source their address and have him/her write a letter. She won’t believe anything from you as the evil ex, but she might from a 3rd party.

TuesandThursNero · 11/05/2023 10:38

I’d do bugger all op

CoronationKicking · 11/05/2023 10:38

An extremely reliable source that happened to witness him sleeping with 2 different women? Sounds like a shit stirrer. Don't get involved.

Also, why are you so concerned about him cheating on her above all the other abuse you know he's subjected her to for years?

TuesandThursNero · 11/05/2023 10:40

she seems pretty scared of me, puts her head down if I’m in the car, hides behind the door on the odd occasion I’ve seen her.

Interesting you jump to “scared” of you

i would presume just doesn’t want to interact with me

TuesandThursNero · 11/05/2023 10:42

And this “very reliable source” is a shit stirrer. Telling you…. The ex wife from 7 years ago.

SaveMeFromMyBoobs · 11/05/2023 10:45

@Conundrumtime1 stay well out of it.

She's too far under his thumb. She hides and shrinks because she is being abused by him. No matter how much he tells her you're the abusive one, she's going to know deep down its a crock of shit when he says this while abusing her. Telling her he's cheating is not going to make her snap out of it unfortunately, she won't believe you or care. You're the last person that can help her until she wants to be helped.

You got yourself and your babies out, don't risk him taking an interest again by provoking him.

Original poster
Conundrumtime1 · 11/05/2023 10:46

@CoronationKicking it was a work function, there are other people to corroborate.

Some people don’t know they’re in an abusive relationship, they think it’s normal. I did.

OP posts:
AllOrNothingSituation · 11/05/2023 10:47

I sometimes think people must love drama 🙄

Climbles · 11/05/2023 10:48

Do not get involved under any circumstances

Original poster
Conundrumtime1 · 11/05/2023 10:51

I’m thinking from my own perspective, rather than theirs. Purely Id just want to be told if DP had done this across me. Thank you all for responding, I’m keeping well out!

OP posts:
TuesandThursNero · 11/05/2023 10:51

there are other people to corroborate.

FFS

you planning on dragging them in to this shit show of your own making?

tatteddear · 11/05/2023 10:53

What does it have to do with you?

TuesandThursNero · 11/05/2023 10:53

Just back off OP.

You assume she’s scared of you because she doesn’t want to interact with you. I suspect she just doesn’t want to interact with you.

and tell your very reliable source aka as shit stirrer not to mention him again to you but you will continue to ask because you remain obsessed with him