Another ADHD one

[productiveprocrastinator]

Following on from another thread, and at the risk of getting slated...

Would love some thoughts from either professionals or people diagnosed with ADHD as adults. As the title suggests, I think I possibly have ADHD, for the below reasons. I work full time by the way, but the below issues do have a huge impact on my life, mental health etc. and have been present since early childhood.

The obvious one- terrible focus on things I find dull but periods of hyper focus when I get the idea in my head. E.g., try really hard to listen in meetings but inevitably realise suddenly that I have been daydreaming for 15 mins and have no idea what was said, find it really hard to start tasks even though I really want to be productive and get them done, make a lot of "5 more mins" deals with myself, the usual, probably quite normal stuff. This has been an issue since I was a child- I never once had a parents evening in my entire school career where the teacher didn't say "lovely student but never stops chatting in lessons".

Am really untidy, but hate mess and it really stresses me, and will then have periods where I suddenly decide to tidy and be up until 3am ripping a room apart to organise every inch (which then lasts about a week!!) Have been this way since I was a child.

Work in a job that has short deadlines, lots of last minute changes and huge variety in the day today and this suits me down to the ground luckily, so it hasn't stopped my career progression, but does cause me extra stress as I either do things the second they land on my plate (usually if they are quick tasks) or else forget about them completely and leave them until the minute after the last minute. I do always manage to get things done (99% anyway) and I actually think my colleagues would describe me as very organised and efficient, but it has taken years of honing those skills and I do feel that all of those skills go into work and therefore home is a shit show!

Have frequent periods of days or weeks of fatigue, anxiety and inability to force myself do basic tasks, followed by periods where I am relatively on it, make lists, set alarms, make myself do things like 20 mins of quick tidying and actually find it really effective so promise myself this is the new me, but it always starts to slip and the cycle continues.

Often zone out and stare into space, mid activity, mid conversation, mid sentence can forget words or what I was saying.

Struggle to do simple things, e.g. recently bought some supplements to try and help with brain fog, frequently see them on the counter and think "I must take those" and another, stronger part of my brain goes "I'll do it later" even though it would take literally 2 seconds and they are right there and I end up not taking them.

Am frequently late despite trying really hard to be on time, have always been bad for losing everything and forgetting things since I was in primary school.

I have developed a lot of strategies that help me hugely, like doing things in short bursts, lists, etc but it is so exhausting.

My question is- could it be ADHD? And if it is, is it even worth pursuing a diagnosis?

Apologies, I commented then forgot!
Yes, it's exhausting isn't it? I would literally have all these thoughts in my head, me telling myself to not do something, whilst I'm looking at something else on my computer and checking my phone all at the same time. But just constantly like that. So tiring!

I got a referral throught my GP on Right to Choose so used Psychiatry UK. First medication I tried had no effect at all, I was really disappointed. The one I'm on now is much better. Side effects can be hard to deal with though. Mine mainly were headaches for the beginning and they affected my sleep too. But on balance definitely worth it.

I have been considering a diagnosis for all of the reasons you’ve mentioned above (including my terrible habit of interrupting or trying so hard not to interrupt that I don’t listen to what is being said!).
I’ve not read all the replies so this may have already been mentioned, but the WHO have put together some questions as an initial screen to see whether it’s possible you may have ADHD before you go and try and get diagnosis.
https://adhduk.co.uk/adult-adhd-screening-survey/

Don’t read the threads then!!🙄

Same for me. It’s the variety, short bursts and business that probably suits me…until I focus on planning or similar for planned hour at home and then 4 hours later I’m still going.

I’m very recently diagnosed, in my 40s. I’m about to begin titration.

I’ve found the assessment process absolutely brutal. It’s entirely deficit based and discussing every aspect of your life and personality in these terms is harrowing. I’ll be honest that it’s taken me a little while to bounce back.

I don’t know if the medication will be effective, and if it isn’t I’m not sure that the diagnosis will be of any other use to me. There is a sense of reassurance that I’m not imagining it. But I think a lot of the benefits of better self understanding come just from realising it’s adhd.

But I also have a daughter with very subtle signs and I think we might have a better chance of getting her needs recognised at an early stage given a direct relative with adhd. I’m hoping she might get better support than was available to me.

I am pretty sure I have it and asd too. I have 6 kids and 3 diagnosed with asd. One also seems like she has adhd. I got all the criteria apart of time management. My late mother summed it into me from an early age that being late was not an option. I use wall calamders to organise myself- without something ‘in my face’ I would forget.
I either zone out. Procrastinate or hyper focus. I seek dopamine hits constantly and have big anxiety.
i won’t bother with a diagnosis . Currently taking saffron supplements- they noises in my head are a bit more manageable. The endless endless chatter is exhausting.
tonight I am going to try sleeping with brown noise in the Hope it will help shit my brain off so that I can sleep.

Excuse typos. I am beyond tired.

Thank you so much everyone for all of your replies. Lots of food for thought and really interesting how many people can relate to so many parts. The bit that really stands out is how big the impact is on self confidence and mental health. Feels very frustrating to be my own worst enemy!

I could have written that, and had a GP appt this morning to get a referral for diagnoses.

I am not entirely sure what I expect it to achieve but I think having a diagnoses would help me feel better about a lot of things rather than angry with myself, and it might help me treat managing myself as a serious task. I would also be interested to try medication, but am aware there are a lot of downsides.

Diagnosis!

Following with interest. Adhd came to my attention as I started reading about alcohol consumption- I'm not a big drinker, but I do use it for the wrong reasons (to switch off the voice in my head, to gulf social awkwardness).
I can have great attention - I love reading for example and can be absorbed in a book for hours. But that information all goes in one direction. I dfind daily life quite confusing and overwhelming - the constant WhatsApps, organising birthday parties etc. it also explains so many aspects of my past (boom and bust, starting but not sticking with, interrupting people)
@Isitthathardtobekind I hear you with teaching. I've done office jobs and have been bored out of my mind, and teaching is at least stimulating. But I struggle with the motorway junction of information that I need to keep in my head at all times, and planning is a nightmare. We have planning docs from the trust at school and the sight of them gives me knots in my stomach, I just don't know where to begin with making sense of them.
I don't see myself getting a diagnosis, partly because I don't want to be 'jumping on the bandwagon', and partly because I don't want to pathologise a behaviour pattern that is so mainstream.
I would like to learn to handle it better. There are so many resources out there, I'd welcome pointers on resources helpful to overwhelmed middle aged women.

For those pursuing a private diagnosis, can I ask which service you are using?

Ive had a closed door from both the NHS and the Priory group (they offered me a clinic but it was 100 miles away!) due to closed waiting lists

@Righthandman yes they can get nasty, I do have to be careful not to let it bleed into real life as I can get in a mood with someone for an argument I've had in my head with them that's completely made up, when they probably wouldn't even have reacted in that way!

So interesting that this hit a lot of us in 2020- for me that also coincided with having a baby and everything's just kind of gone to shit since then.

Like @Isitthathardtobekind and @productiveprocrastinator teaching was my job too (well, tutoring) - self employed, lots of short term contracts, always new topics/subjects to learn about, new families to get to know, lots of travel... Before that I was either temping or changing jobs every six months! Unfortunately it really doesn't fit well with small children so I'm now trying to change career but I'm worried about trying to just work in one place as I've never done longer than a year anywhere (and I've been working for 20 years or so...)

@Youngatheart00 I'm using ADHD 360 thought haven't had my appointment yet so can't comment on how good they are. They are also an NHS provider though which I think is good. I will say that there are a loooot of forms to fill out on the site which ended up taking me a couple of weeks as I kept doing a bit and then running out of steam and drifting off...

So much of this resonates with me too, I haven't been diagnosed, I've kind of talked myself out of it for fear of being accused of jumping on the bandwagon.

Like you, I did well in school and up until GCSEs sailed through with A's with extremely minimal effort, A levels I still couldn't knuckle down and got B's, which I know could have been A's if I'd worked at it. After that I dropped out of a vocational course, then had a few temp jobs, travelled a bit, and nothing stuck for a while until I found myself in an office job with enough pressure/ deadlines to make sure I actually did the work, I ended up staying with that company over a decade and working my way up, on the outside I looked successful but part of me sticking at it was fear that if I left there I'd struggle and be back to not being able to stick at anything.

I have so many coping mechanisms in place and most people think I'm reasonably organised, but it's HARD. I have lists and lists and my mind never stops, and while I'm managing everything else my house is always a tip (but then if I actually properly tidy things away I can never remember where I put them).

And like others have said, 2020 was really when everything crumbled around me, I was home alone with 2 kids under 2 and didn't cope at all, I thought I must be depressed but that never felt like it accurately described how I was feeling, so interesting to hear other people saying the same in the context of ADHD.

I feel so frustrated with myself and I have described it to my husband as feeling like I can't access half of my brain, as if it's shut off by a curtain of fog full of a million thoughts and distractions and if only that wasn't there I would be able to do so much more and get so much more out of life.

@NightNightJohnBoy i feel the same as you I think about going for a diagnoses. I also feel a bit like i might be totally wrong and I might look stupid. Also I don’t really like talking to people I don’t know and know I will find it uncomfortable.
It’s interesting what you say about reading, I have barely finished any books in my life. I read and realise I’m thinking about all sorts of other things so I don’t know what I’ve read, or I am in to the book but then get bored, or misplace it and don’t finish. My husband bought me a book about ADHD recently but I’ve lost it…!

I understand what you mean about teaching and all the different things you need to be able to manage. I quite enjoy planning so that doesn’t worry me, but I find now that it’s even harder to keep on top of everything and stay organised. When I was younger and didn’t have my own children, it was possibly easier but now I find it challenging and get constant brain fog and forgetfulness mid sentence even more than I used to. I also put things down in the classroom and lose them. I’m non- class based now so I think that helps.

I’m also wondering about peri menopause and adhd. Sometimes I wonder if it’s that and not adhd but I’ve been like this forever, so it can’t be. However, I do imagine that it will cause possibly even more difficulty when menopause is also in the mix.

Yeah, another ADHD inattentive here.

I haven’t been diagnosed but I got the ball rolling in September 2021! Still waiting to have the NHS make it official, so it might end up happening this September, or it might take longer. I offered to do it privately but was advised not to for some reason, can’t remember why now (that’s the condition).

I hate work for this reason. If my brain worked properly I’m sure I would love it. Can never focus, always behind. Now that I’m 28 weeks pregnant it’s just got so much worse. Can’t wait to be a mum, though I’m a bit worried about what the condition will be like in a parenting context and how I’ll cope.

Got a 2:1 too, and a First in my dissertation. Could hyper focus on that as I found it interesting. Think my language exams dragged my grades down as I found language learning really difficult with ADHD.

Was thinking about retraining and going into teaching. Any other teachers with ADHD that find it manageable? . I think I got the condition from my dad and he was a great teacher (now retired).

good luck!