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Original poster

Small(ish) lottery win - Do I keep it since they didn’t pay?

449 replies

swimmingforCB · 05/05/2023 20:02

We’ve had a family syndicate going for 6 months or so now. Few £10 wins etc but nothing big.

For the past 2 weeks, nobody has bothered paying in. They kept saying they’d do it next week, and then next week came and they said they’d do it that week. But everyone forgot again!

I won on Tuesday. Nothing OTT but a sizeable sum

If I keep it to myself, it’ll change my life. If I share it between the 4 of us, it’ll pay for a fancy holiday and that’s it.

What do I do? 😬

OP posts:
Sleeplessnights2 · 05/05/2023 23:30

determinedtomakethiswork · 05/05/2023 23:19

Okay, you have had your win and the chance of another win is very very very slim. I would say to them that I wasn't going to carry on doing the lottery because nobody paid. That's all I would say. I would keep absolutely quiet about the winnings. Then, in a little while, a few months, I might treat my sister to something like a food shop or something to wear or her children's uniforms, and just say I had had a bonus at work.

‘Treat’ her to food shop out of £20K when she’s skint?

Not referring to your comment here but this thread is so enlightening, fascinating even. Haven’t been this interested in how people behave when money is involved since watching The Traitors.

Batalax · 05/05/2023 23:30

You wouldn’t have bought the tickets if there wasn’t the syndicate. If you hadn’t won, you’d have expected them to pay up. I think you have to share.

BanjoKnickers · 05/05/2023 23:32

determinedtomakethiswork · 05/05/2023 23:19

Okay, you have had your win and the chance of another win is very very very slim. I would say to them that I wasn't going to carry on doing the lottery because nobody paid. That's all I would say. I would keep absolutely quiet about the winnings. Then, in a little while, a few months, I might treat my sister to something like a food shop or something to wear or her children's uniforms, and just say I had had a bonus at work.

This seems to be a strange approach. Either the family is entitled to share the money fully or they're not. Hiding the win from them, but then helping them out a in dribs and drabs seems to be admitting to yourself that you've fleeced them, and also trying to play the bountiful philanthrope by giving them (a fraction of) their own money!

tellmetellmepleasetellme · 05/05/2023 23:33

Just an idea - could you share it this way?

Message everyone to say you have won but since they did not pay towards the winning ticket you don't feel it's fair that they get an equal share, but since they're family you would be keeping half the win and they share 1/3 each from the other half?

You said it's over 10 k so they would still be getting at least close to £2,000 each.

tellmetellmepleasetellme · 05/05/2023 23:36

Just hiding the fact that you won is surely going to cause problems down the line as it's probable one of them would find out at one point and if on the whole you all get along it is not really worth losing the relationship over.

JagerbombsUnite · 05/05/2023 23:37

BanjoKnickers · 05/05/2023 23:32

This seems to be a strange approach. Either the family is entitled to share the money fully or they're not. Hiding the win from them, but then helping them out a in dribs and drabs seems to be admitting to yourself that you've fleeced them, and also trying to play the bountiful philanthrope by giving them (a fraction of) their own money!

Show quote history

Erm nope.
If the family isn't entitled to the money, it's OP's to do what she wishes.
Which may mean helping out the SIL.
The OP's wording is a bit difficult to understand because she says 'we are all skint' apart from that husband and wife (?) and MIL.

But there are only 4 in the syndicate....

Meaning OP and the SIL are the only skint ones?

whynotwhatknot · 05/05/2023 23:38

if its going to change yur life wont the others notice when you buy something expensive or move etc

hard to keep quiet

tellmetellmepleasetellme · 05/05/2023 23:40

Sorry - last point! Then it is time to reset the syndicate rules and you can address the consequences of future late payments. Explain that this is a one off. Technically it was 'your' ticket but since there were no clear rules you were prepared to compromise and share the winnings. Get everyone to agree in writing.

It's just what I would do.

JagerbombsUnite · 05/05/2023 23:40

whynotwhatknot · 05/05/2023 23:38

if its going to change yur life wont the others notice when you buy something expensive or move etc

hard to keep quiet

I think this depends on how they spend it. 10K off a mortgage lump sum could mean retiring a few years earlier.. something like that. Nobdy else would know

whynotwhatknot · 05/05/2023 23:43

hmm i woldnt really call it life changing but i guess if its a small mortgage

whynotwhatknot · 05/05/2023 23:45

did you perosnally pay for it op or out of the pot

MrsMikeDrop · 05/05/2023 23:48

Thegoodbadandugly · 05/05/2023 22:58

But they have not paid what part are you missing?

Show quote history

Don't be obtuse. They're part of a syndicate and would have paid. Otherwise it's just a matter of OP buying a weekly ticket for herself and them paying for a share of it if she doesn't win! 🤨

Birdsongsinging · 05/05/2023 23:49

When I was in a syndicate we agreed at the start that even if we hadnt paid that week we would be entitled to a share.

Do you think they will pay the money eventually, without knowing there is a win, if so I think you should pay out.

I think you are the one in the wrong if you know they would pay you eventually.

MrsMikeDrop · 05/05/2023 23:49

tellmetellmepleasetellme · 05/05/2023 23:40

Sorry - last point! Then it is time to reset the syndicate rules and you can address the consequences of future late payments. Explain that this is a one off. Technically it was 'your' ticket but since there were no clear rules you were prepared to compromise and share the winnings. Get everyone to agree in writing.

It's just what I would do.

I'd pay out. Then I'd forget the syndicate, sounds like more trouble then it's worth. Maybe go back to why you started the syndicate in the first place

MrsMikeDrop · 05/05/2023 23:50

Birdsongsinging · 05/05/2023 23:49

When I was in a syndicate we agreed at the start that even if we hadnt paid that week we would be entitled to a share.

Do you think they will pay the money eventually, without knowing there is a win, if so I think you should pay out.

I think you are the one in the wrong if you know they would pay you eventually.

Exactly

Dibbydoos · 05/05/2023 23:50

Congratulations, you won a nice sum.

If they're not paying, they're not playing. End of.

Birdsongsinging · 05/05/2023 23:51

tellmetellmepleasetellme · 05/05/2023 23:33

Just an idea - could you share it this way?

Message everyone to say you have won but since they did not pay towards the winning ticket you don't feel it's fair that they get an equal share, but since they're family you would be keeping half the win and they share 1/3 each from the other half?

You said it's over 10 k so they would still be getting at least close to £2,000 each.

Thats a good idea! Upfront and honest!

Unsure33 · 05/05/2023 23:51

Personally I would ask them for the arrears . Share it . Then draw up a written agreement for the syndicate going forward . As it’s family that’s what I would do .

MenoRageisReal · 05/05/2023 23:57

Thetimeishere · 05/05/2023 20:34

Keep it. Say nothing to anyone. Ever.

This.

Never ever say anything. Make sure DH stays schtum too.

Oneandonly22 · 05/05/2023 23:57

What I find bizarre as I’ve been part of a couple of syndicates in the past is how they didn’t know the numbers. I know it was lucky dips but when we’ve purchased these in past we’ve upload pictures of numbers on group chats etc. So was it just this week no numbers were shared or is it something that’s been done every week/draw. So if this was a new thing not sharing the numbers beforehand maybe they don’t think the syndicate was still going ahead as they didn’t pay and had no clue of the numbers.

PutinSmellsPassItOn · 05/05/2023 23:57

Well if they forgot to put the lotto on one week and their numbers came up they wouldn't pay up because they'd put tickets on previously........they didn't pay for tickets so didn't have a stake in it.

So no, you don't owe them anything, especially as it was your numbers that won !! I'd just keep quiet and let the syndicate slowly fold, stop bothering to remind them about it.

JandalsAlways · 06/05/2023 00:01

Batalax · 05/05/2023 23:30

You wouldn’t have bought the tickets if there wasn’t the syndicate. If you hadn’t won, you’d have expected them to pay up. I think you have to share.

This was my thoughts too

Simianwalk · 06/05/2023 00:15

I would share it. Otherwise it will feel like dirty money.

Flowertight · 06/05/2023 00:18

H is against playing the lottery for religious reasons although thinks we should spend it wisely on ourselves

What a deeply honest and religious man. Ffs

CinnamonJellyBeans · 06/05/2023 00:19

Middleagedandgrumpy · 05/05/2023 20:41

If you weren't part of this syndicate would you have bought the same number of lucky dip tickets? What was your view when you bought the ticket? Were you continuing to buy the same number of tickets as previously?

Yes, this.

Also what would you do/feel if you'd forgotten to pay in one week and the syndicate won without you?

You say that they all forgot to pay 6-7 weeks ago. Did you buy the usual number of tickets that week and did they pay you back, even though (presumably), there was no win?

What are the arrangements for paying? Do people often pay in arrears? If you use small wins to fund further purchases, it may be that you don't have a regular weekly payment schedule anyway, depending on whether there are existing funds to buy tickets?

The syndicate has been going for 6 months. Your family did not wish to stop paying in, they forgot to pay that week and told you that they would pay. Although they forgot to pay you, the intent to pay was there.

You should share the money.