Private school vs state school..not as academic as expected?

[Checkthisone]

Sorry, long post.

DD (5) in Reception has joined a prep school in April. Before then she was going to our local state school.

She is a very happy, easy going child usually and adapts really well to new environments. She couldn't wait to start her state school back in Sept however her confidence started slipping after only a few weeks to the point where she started saying she didn't want to go. This went on for a few months that were really excruciating. We felt like we were losing out otherwise bubbly happy bright child (lots of things happened in that time: being hit and spat on by other kids, shouty put-downy teachers, she stopped engaging in the classroom, always angry at home etc). She hated anything to do with reading or maths, although she was learning and progressing.

Hence, in Jan she had a taster day at her current private school. She loved it. The facilities are amazing, small classrooms, very few behaviour problems. She came home really happy. Ever since then (I'm thinking perhaps she felt like there is an escape from her current school), she started engaging more, confidence went up, became happier and became one of the top readers in her class.

When she left her state school at the end of March the teacher said she was ahead of expectations with her reading and I am aware that the state school was really pushing with the phonics. Every day she'd come with new tricky words, digraphas, longer words and I felt she was like a sponge, really absorbed everything.

Back in Jan at the taster day the private prep mentioned that her writing wasn't quite up to the level of the other girls in the class so she'll need catching up, reading was just OK, making us feel like she was behind and needed a lot of extra support. Obviously she made a lot of progress in the meantime and really loves reading and wants more.

She started her new school just over 2 weeks ago and dissapontingly she has not learned any new words or tricky words or anything to push her up. The books she is given home to read (4 a week) are way below her level, she flies through them in 30 secs. Yesterday she didn't want to to read it, choosing to read a higher level one from the ones we have at home. I've spoken to her teacher last week and said DD finds them quite easy, but I said it's ok for now, good to consolidate the basics. However yesterday she came with an even easier one. I'm feeling really disappointed for DD who is ready for more and feels like she is not learning.

I'm also very surprised to learn that they do a lot less than the state school at phonics?! Of course, they have a broader curriculum (drama, music, sports, French) but can't quite understand why they don't push a little harder with reading at the point. It's meant to be a very academic school. (At the taster day DD told me they were teaching the digraphs that she learned at the state school 2 weeks before).

Can anyone relate to this or has any advice? I'm taking all our books out again and teaching DD further phonics despite paying so much for the private school and I feel a little deflated. DD is very happy there to be fair, feels valued, no shouty teachers and everyone is kind and respectful. Plus she likes the structure and variety of activities so we won't be considering a state school again.

I think you need to chill a bit and just let them do there thing. Just let her read the books in 30 seconds and then read something else if she wants.

Personally I think at this age it's about developing a love of learning rather than having phonics rammed down their throats. I'm sure when she's taking her A levels, it won't matter in which week of reception she learnt her 'igh' and 'sh' phonics!

Your daughter is 5 and you are making a decision on a school after two weeks. You do sound like you might becoming a pushy parent expecting her to be at certain levels at this age. And I say that as a parent who had their twins tutored for the 11 plus so they can go to grammar school.
You can't judge such a young child so quickly. Give her time to settle in. If you want her to do more advanced reading - do as you did and give her her school book and an advanced book.
We moved one of our twins out of the grammar school to a private school - and if I was to compare the education my twins are getting I would say the grammar is much better academically and clubs etc. Private does not always equal the best by any means - what it does is give you is smaller class sizes and teachers who parents can expect to answer their questions.

If she wants to read more, just buy books/borrow from library to suit her needs.
I transferred my DD from state to inde because she was not happy and excluded. Academically she was one of the top students at her previous state, and still top student at current inde. In the first term at new school, I did not notice significant difference in terms of academic gains, but she did very well in the end-term exams and teacher started to push her more (eg. More challenging math work, represent school for competition etc.). She is happy now and thrives in an inclusive environment.

Give her at least a term’s time to settle in. If you do not think the private school worth the money, then transfer her back. 2-week is too short to conclude anything

Oh thank you so much for your input, I needed that. I am trying to make sense of how they teach at her new school and was quite surprised that they are behind. DD tells me that she sometimes tells her teachers about more advanced tricky words she knows and they tell her that they will learn that in Year 1.

I did suspect that perhaps they ease them in now, then they ramp things up in Y1 or Y2, whereas the state school threw everything at them with lots of kids in the class not quite ready for the amount of info.

Thank you for your advice. Very helpful.

Just what I was thinking.
Take it easy, OP. Your stress will communicate.to your child and spoil her pleasure in reading.

Does the prep school finish at year 6 or year 8 or transition on to a senior school (with or without an entrance exam?). Because there are no SATs in private prep schools the focus is getting the students ready for 11+ or 13+ or transition to senior school. It’s the long game.

I suspect they have started your daughter on easier books to check comprehension, not just reading fluency.

Hm I'm in two minds about it. It's nice they're not rushing them but they should be pushing the kids that are ahead. It's not on that she's sent home with books below her ability. I understand state schools sometimes take things overboard but she's clearly bored of the books they give her and needs differentiation. You're paying for a more personal experience and I'd maybe speak to the teacher again.

Thank you for your advice. The school finishes at Y6.

Btw, in terms of reading, my dd is bilingual and knew little about phonics at reception (below average) and was just an average reader in Y1. However, in Y3, her reading age was about 4 years ahead of actual age. And in Y4, she was the first one of the whole school to reach 2 million words count on accelerated reader.
Learning is a marathon not a sprint :)

Hi, ex teacher writing re: teaching at home. All the schemes will have "sets" of sounds that they learn at different times. Google "read write Inc sounds in order" or "jolly phonics sounds in order" or whatever her scheme is. Look at the Google images result- someone will have made a table and you can see where she's at currently. Then use the 5 minute mum phonics games with those sounds :). Alternatively Google her phonics scheme and set with the word "worksheets" e.g. "read write Inc set 2 worksheets" and you will find some printable worksheets you can give her at home. If you are going to do worksheets rather than games you will probably need to bribe her. Don't do more than 15 mins a day. Reading with her is as good or better than worksheets too. Just eBay a whole set of phonics-based books and let her pick out whatever she wants to read. The Julia Donaldson songbirds series is nice. If you give me more info I will send you links for exact things to give her.

In 25 years visiting state schools in a challenging city, I have never seen a reception teacher who was "shouty" on a regular basis. You must have been supremely unlucky there, OP.

It is 2 weeks in Reception, not gcse! Give her time to settle and for the school to get a better feel for her level. Lots of kids have the technical reading skills but lack the same level of comprehension. The text may be easy but you can add to the exercise with questions about the story as to what might be happening and why, what might happen next, different characters etc.

It's important not to generalise as not all prep schools have the same focus.

We have two nearby, in the same village. One very focused on academics and one on, I'm not really sure what, other than a happy time and playing games.

Make sure you're in the right school for a start, one that has similar values and goals to you!

I wasn't aware of the shouty TA until we left. Only after DD left she told me the TA was yelling at the kids and everyone was scared of her, I could see the kids not wanting to go in at drop off on the days she was working (luckily she was sharing the job with another one who was really lovely according to DD and I could see that myself). Apparently DD had to tell her one day to not shout at her as she doesn't like it, the TA apparently laughed 😐

There were a few wonderful teachers in the state school, sadly not many.

Thank you, that's very helpful. I'll look into that.

Yes agree with PPs. Your DD is happier and loves books - that's a really massive achievement. Go to the library and let her read what she wants. You really don't need phonics, but you definitely do need reading. Good luck

Private schools push the idea to parents that their kids are ahead of the state schools. I know a few people who were top at the class at private schools who were shocked to discover they were average or behind when they transferred to state schools.

I'm also always a bit taken back how many 11 year olds join grammars from preps and are surprised their peers managed to read and write in a state school. That being said, it's a school Vs school thing. Not all state schools will be like the one your child was Op, and not all Indies are academic. Two weeks is very early days but if they don't start pushing her a little, I'd nudge them again. It doesn't sound like you're pushing this, and she sounds keen to learn. Advice on how you can help is nice, but thats not really what you want to be doing when you're paying for prep.

I moved my child in January (we moved 70 miles, timing was related to house sale). Y2 - my goodness it was a bumpy ride! She HATED her new teacher (so did I). She hated her so much she flatly refused to read at all. It was an awful half year. I'm not sure what she learned to be honest, I just needed her to survive it.
Next year was so much better. She settled in (new teacher obviously). Academically she's bright and caught up quickly - she was at a private before but a rather non traditional one.
5 is no age, and she will find her set. Ask the teacher to give her harder books and provide your own. I don't think mine must have done much phonics as I don't remember it at all. I wouldn't worry at this stage about doing much outside of school - and if everything has to be challenging it might put her off reading completely!

As others have said, it’s early days.

That said, phonics provision in state schools is generally excellent - early years phonics is a MASSIVE OFSTED focus, as is the Y2 phonics check. State schools generally direct their resources accordingly and phonics teaching is well supported and well understood. I can imagine private schools not having the same push or mechanisms to keep on top of it, as they aren’t faced with the same Y2 assessment.

I have also seen some parents amazed that state school kids are able to do more than just bang rocks together, as well…

A part time TA is not "shouty teachers" is it, to be fair?

I think DD aged what, 4 or 5 "having to tell the TA not to shout at her as she doesn't like it" makes her sound a bit precocious. I fear she may bump heads with teachers in future if she tells them off like this. Whilst shouting is not an ideal way of managing children, I do wonder what DD might have been doing or not doing that caused the TA to feel frustrated? Is that not important?

Since your daughter was only in state school for 1.5 terms I don't know how you are able to comment on the teaching staff in her school. How do you know not many were wonderful? I assume she only had the one teacher?

My worry is that your reactions appear a little knee jerk in relation to your daughter. She was only in school for less than one term before you were looking to move her. She then settled and started doing well and making great progress. You moved her anyway. Then after the move just a couple of weeks in you are already microanalysing what is happening in her new school. She will be ok, you know, OP. By the time she's in year 6 the speed at which she went through phonics really will not matter one iota.

So "shouty put downy teachers" has become a part time shouty TA. Right.

I’m wondering if you are from a culture where it was a very prescribed system and pupils ranked publicly etc.
Your language of ‘behind’
It’s not behind it’s different. So focusing on wider breadth, different experiences like French etc.
If you are happy with what school produces in yr 6 - their results and leaver destinations then trust the school process.
If she’s happy she will thrive and learn well.
She obviously enjoys reading. I’d encourage that - read lots of books to her and with her, signs, recipes etc and she will come on without worrying that school x did page 3 last week and school y are only on page 2.

My experience is often independent schools are less pushy in reception than state but it steps up in Year 1 and 2. I’d get some books at home so you can stretch her and do some fun home work type stuff if you’re worried but the most important thing is that she settles in and is happy.