Another child killed due to mother's abusive partner

[JoanThursday1972]

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12037929/Boy-nine-died-beaten-belts-held-cold-bathwater-court-hears.html

Not another one. Will we ever see the end of this type of story? I doubt it. Don't let the press DARE label this thug Alfie's "stepfather".

Let's stop saying it's going to be resolved by the Freedom Programme- that deals with domestic abuse by partners.

Abuse and torture of child is totally different because it needs the mother to consent and agree. She has to say yes and participate to inflict violence, it's not just an issue about not being able to leave an abusive man.

@Kpo58 I really wouldn't be bothered. They can charge me with what they like. I could not sit there and let that happen.

And he would be handed back and you would be the villain. You’d have the restraining order, you’d have the harassment from them and anyone else they whip up, you wouldn’t be believed by the police and the child would still be in danger - probably worse as now they know no one will be coming.

I was the one who mentioned the freedom program as another poster mentioned why can’t women stay single. I was trying to explain that these women come from a cycle of abuse where they probably grew up in an environment like this so it’s normal. It was an example of how it’s not just straight forward

@VegetablesFightingToReclaimTheAubergieneEmoji I would have ensured it was filmed so that it could be demonstrated why I took the course of action I did.

I just seriously couldn't stand by and watch that. I'd feel physically sick.

Would they? I don't know about that. They'd probably be neglectful, sure. But women are rarely as violent towards children as men. It's not often that a single mother with no partner beats her child to death. In almost all of these cases, there is a male boyfriend involved. With some exceptions like poor Arthur.

Breaks my heart… same age as my son

From the woman's point of view, why are men allowed to impregnate many women and don't have to take any responsibility for the children he has created and can go from relationship to relationship? Whilst if a woman gets pregnant and her partner leaves, she should never have another relationship or any more children and her life is effectively over as she's just a mother now and no longer a human with her own needs.

@Beezknees Star Hobson, Ayesha Ali, Lauren Wade, Liam Fee. All abused and murdered by females in the UK. Countless others around the world.

Relatives and neighbours did report and a care plan was put in place. He wasn't allowed to stay overnight but they ignored it. He should have been removed straight away. I know there is a desperate shortage of foster carers ATM. But under the circumstances he should have been removed.

That's why I said NOT OFTEN. I did not say it never happens. It's factual that men commit more violent crimes than women.

Because aping the behaviour of men following a break up puts children at risk

Also, step parents were involved in all those cases. The mothers did not kill their children on their own.

If you think not living with a boyfriend means your life is over, that's a very sad way of thinking. I haven't had a serious partner for 15 years and my life is very fulfilled.

My DS's dad is a useless sack of shit. Why would I also want to be a useless sack of shit just because he is? My DS deserves at least one parent who puts his needs first.

You're overly defensive @Beezknees

Somebody ought to be. Kids are being failed.

@Beezknees I agree with you! I've made the same decision and my life is also very rich and fulfilling. Short of a dystopian future, I'm pretty sure men and romance will still exist when my DC has flown the nest.

@Beezknees It takes a certain kind of woman to allow that to happen though.

Surely you can still have a relationship? Go on dates? Have sex? Just don’t move them in with your children!

@AmeliaEarhart I personally don't think dating is worth my time (work full time, lone parent) or money (babysitter/transport/my half of the dinner or activity) or effort (getting dressed up). I'm a busy bee. When my DC is in bed I have work (remote with flexitime, I finish in time for pick up and do a few hours in the eve). I also have housework to keep on top of. If i cam squeeze in some evening relaxation I like to read a book, do some yoga or have a friend round for a natter. Also, I'm sure plenty of these men (who I have no interest in dating) might object to being kept on the fringes of my life as a once a fortnight date (all I can imagine squeezing in at a push if I wanted to) for the next 15 years.

under the circumstances he should have been removed.
If the biological father is known, then at the moment SS know the resident parent has involved a known abuser into their DC's life, the child should be housed with them.
Often the biological father is warned off by the current 'lover'.
If the bio father does not offer to take the DC then he is also culpable.

Sometimes the biological father is nothing to write home about either.

Often the father is not listened to by social services and told he is being malicious for reporting concerns.

@Hubblebubble Huge respect you, your life sounds great! My post was more in response to the idea that never being involved with another man or moving in together were the only options.