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Original poster

F*cked up massively - work related. Perspective needed

628 replies

Stupidworkgirl · 01/05/2023 22:16

I have an important business trip abroad tomorrow which myself and several other colleagues are going on. It is a major event in our industry and we have been planning it for a while. I have done the majority of the planning and have enjoyed it and was excited to attend. Our company director is going along with my boss and several coworkers, one of which reports to me.

I have lost my passport. I only realised this at 4pm today when packing. I am meant to fly out on an early morning flight. We have a very tidy minimalist home and have searched everywhere, it is definitely not here. I last travelled a few months ago and can only think I dropped it somewhere between security and my car.

I have called my boss who has told the MD. My boss was understanding and kind about it, I don’t know what the MDs reaction was. I’m absolutely gutted. Missing out on the event is a horrible feeling but is actually the least of it, that will wear off once it is over at the end of this week. It is more the damage to my reputation and how people might think of me going forward. I’m honestly considering leaving and finding a new job, as I don’t know how I will mentally bounce back from it.

Looking for reassurance or perhaps any similar tales or fucking up at work.

OP posts:
Rainallnight · 02/05/2023 06:55

@Stupidworkgirl I feel so sad reading how you feel about yourself, your imposter syndrome and your anxiety over mistakes. I was like you and ended up having a huge mental health crisis about a work mistake, around a decade ago. I almost died. I really urge you to look at this as an opportunity to examine your beliefs and attitudes about your worth and work, and to get some counselling if necessary.

WinchSparkle80 · 02/05/2023 07:02

My old boss would have asked, “anyone dead or seriously injured?”

Very frustrating for you though, do not quit over this. That really would be a stupid mistake.

Hummmmaybe · 02/05/2023 07:04

I had a big pair of safety boots and it had fallen down inside. Didn’t even notice when I was wearing them (thick socks, lined boots). Double check them! Good luck.

Hiddendoor · 02/05/2023 07:12

It'll be in the safety equipment bag. or your work drawer under something.

check your handbag also in case you've prepared for the trip and put it in automatically.

BanditsOnTheHorizon · 02/05/2023 07:16

Honestly OP these things happen. My boss lost his passport whilst on a business trip in Amsterdam. The company had to pay for his extended stay and he had to get an emergency one from the embassy. He still has his leg pulled about it now.

I've also seen colleagues in exactly the same situation as you, it's upsetting as you've made the arrangements and embarrassing as no one wants to be 'that person' but in the grand scheme of fuck ups, it's really not that bad.

Coffeetree · 02/05/2023 07:20

It's also possible it was stolen, isn't it?

That's how I would pitch it, tbh: "My passport was stolen or lost and my husband and I didn't realise until I was packing. We've made a police report and applied for an emergency replacement."

That's your message and stick to it.

RoseGoldEagle · 02/05/2023 07:25

You haven’t fucked up massively by losing your passport, you’re human and that can happen to anyone (most people have had something like it happen, and most will be sympathetic as it’s so annoying when things like that happen!).

I think you’d potentially be fucking up massively if you left a job that it sounds like you enjoy and are good at over this though, that seems such a bizarre over reaction.

Just own it, go in with your head held high, laugh at yourself a bit (if you’re too intensely mortified then your colleagues will pick up on that and never ever let you forget it) and it will blow over in no time! Your attitude to it will be more a factor in how people view you, then the actual incident, it really really isn’t that big a deal in the scheme of things! (Though I do hope you find it at work this morning and get to go!)

Spudlet · 02/05/2023 07:29

Op, I had a colleague who forgot her passport on a big trip once. We all got the train to London ridiculously early, got into the Eurostar terminal, and then she came to me as white as a sheet and said she’d forgotten her passport. She had to tell our boss (who could be a cow, frankly), the CEO was there, the chair of the trustees was there. It was a nightmare, she was almost in tears. But you know what? No one thought worse of her. Everyone could see she was gutted and knew it was such an easy thing for anyone to do. The Chair came over to me and told me that I had to make sure she didn’t feel bad, and that it could have been anyone who’d done it. It became an ‘oh nooooo’ memory, but one of huge empathy, rather than a bollocking.

So don’t panic. We’re all human and we all make mistakes. It’s not the end of the world op. There’ll be other trips.

Mustardandchickensandwiches · 02/05/2023 07:35

Op, this is not a fuck up. Why are you so worried about what other people will think? Do you think your superior to them or something?

Ohthejoys39 · 02/05/2023 07:36

You mentioned rushing in to see dad! Have you checked her room?

Ohthejoys39 · 02/05/2023 07:38

Ohthejoys39 · 02/05/2023 07:36

You mentioned rushing in to see dad! Have you checked her room?

Dd not dad ! Sorry!

Peachblossomtime · 02/05/2023 07:38

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Sevenbells · 02/05/2023 07:43

Whatever happens, you know you are being too hard on yourself.
As you've said, it won't impact the company, it's only you that misses out. So if the trip goes well and from what you've said, it will, because you've planned it so carefully (based on what you've written, you're a meticulous person) and your boss will be happy with you.
And in two weeks you wont be feeling nearly as bad as you do now.

ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 02/05/2023 07:46

This reply has been deleted

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

Also OP. If your home really is as minimalistic as you're making out, I cannot fathom how you're only noticing now that the passport is missing, why you only went to get it out now and did you not have to check in online at some point?

I think you need to get a grip for goodness sake. The world won't fall apart because you can't travel. And if your reputation is affected you've only yourself to blame. Call it a learning curve. But a hell of a lot more has happened to people in the workplace than this.

BirdChirp · 02/05/2023 07:47

My manager lost his passport at the airport, it was eventually handed in to a police station. He definitely didn't think about resigning over it, these things happen.

Stircrazyschoolmum · 02/05/2023 07:50

Call lost property at the airport where you last flew from.. perhaps it’s waiting for you there?!? I know three families that have not realised a passpor expired recently.. it’s not just you.. honestly! x

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 02/05/2023 07:50

Might be too late now... but emergency passport? I did that once (similar situation) and it worked....

I don't think it's that bad. Not ideal but could be worse.

Batalax · 02/05/2023 07:53

PragmaticWench · 01/05/2023 22:18

Any chance you have scanned it and left it in the scanner? I'd sit VERY still, breathing slowly and visualise coming into your home and unpacking last time.

Been there, done that.

LadyEloise1 · 02/05/2023 07:54

🤞🙏you find it at work today in your sports bag.

JMiam · 02/05/2023 07:54

Good morning.. did you find it? I hope miraculously it turned up and you managed to get away.. I wandered how long lost property at the airport is kept, perhaps calling to check could at least stop the wander 😕 if you haven't managed to go please keep us updated on how your doing 🙌

Original poster
Stupidworkgirl · 02/05/2023 07:57

Morning all, and thank you for the support and replies. I'm in work now, I've checked the final place it could have been which is my safety gear bag that went on the last trip with me and it isn't there.

I'm spiraling this morning, first it was tears this morning getting ready and driving into work, now I'm here I just feel sick and shaky and have a constant pressure headache. I'm feeling embarrassed beyond belief, I even felt embarrassed around DH this morning like he must be thinking what a let down I am. I even feel like I've let my DD down somehow and can't be trusted as a Mum. I recognise these thought processes aren't logical and are out of proportion.

I don't understand how to bounce back from it, I feel like it will stay with me as long as I work here and just want a new start. I'm hoping this fades as I was doing so well here.

OP posts:
bossyrossy · 02/05/2023 07:59

We were on holiday in Italy and due to return home when my husband couldn’t find his passport, which he thought he had put in the hotel safe along with mine. We searched the room high and low. My passport was in the safe but not his. My sister in law joined the search and again looked in the safe. She found it there. It was on its side against the safe wall. It was a dark navy blue and the safe had a black interior and so the passport had become invisible.

Zanatdy · 02/05/2023 08:05

You’re definitely over reacting and you haven’t fucked up. Like you say your role is largely planning it. People lose passports all the time, that doesn’t make you a bad employee and certainly not a bad mother. You do need to put this into perspective and in the grand scheme of things, this is really not a big deal. Apply for a new one and always ensure part of your retuning home routine involves locking it in the safe

BashfulClam · 02/05/2023 08:05

bossyrossy · 02/05/2023 07:59

We were on holiday in Italy and due to return home when my husband couldn’t find his passport, which he thought he had put in the hotel safe along with mine. We searched the room high and low. My passport was in the safe but not his. My sister in law joined the search and again looked in the safe. She found it there. It was on its side against the safe wall. It was a dark navy blue and the safe had a black interior and so the passport had become invisible.

They are bastards for slipping on their side like that, it’s like a special skill

Spudlet · 02/05/2023 08:06

op, I say this gently and as a person who also has a hard time making mistakes and beats myself up for them - you have to try and get some perspective here. This is not the end of the world and it doesn’t make you a bad person. I get it and I know that for me at least it’s not because I think I’m above making mistakes, it’s because deep down I really think I’m a useless waste of space and that if I make a mistake that just confirms it. But it’s not a rational way to be, and I’m really trying to change my mindset.

You might find your local Well-being service helpful, if one exists in your area.