Work coach pushing caring jobs - how do you decline

[Makingthebest]

I’ve seen this a lot and I was wondering can they remove certain types of jobs and not force you to apply for certain roles if you can’t.

Caring is one job I absolutely would never be able to do. Can I specify that? Do I have to explain all the reasons why I can’t do it and do they accept that?

Tell them about your autism and this type of work isn’t possible for you but you will try that type.

Could you cope with being an exam invigilator OP? If not, can we help you come up with some career/job ideas?

IME they are more harsh if they think you aren’t looking for work at all and are being picky just so you don’t have to apply for anything.

Be proactive.
Look on indeed and apply for jobs you think you might be able to do.
If they see you are applying then they don’t push you to apply for others.

How often do you see your work coach?

Look today for a part time cleaning job.
Many are out of hours and you’ll be working alone.

Once you’ve got the job then you can always look for something else but I found the anxiety and stress of the job centre much more difficult than getting a temporary job and then looking for work elsewhere.

A friend of mine recently got a freelance job writing subtitles for non scripted programmes at Sky. It’s 100% remote and they just send you the files and you send them back with the text. Sounds perfect for you! Plus you get to watch many weird TV shows!

I agree and I'm really surprised at all the responses that seem to think it's fine to push it onto someone who clearly doesn't want to do it (or can't in the OPs case).

You will need to be able to function on a computer if you want to work from home. Any admin or office type jobs will absolutely require a computer. My mum did 'computer for the terrified' then computers for the less terrified then a more comprehensive computer course about 20 years ago...I'm not sure what's on offer now but it gave her the confidence to be able to use a computer/excel competently to manage her job as a bookkeeper. She is profoundly deaf and has autism so her prospects are sadly quite limited but she is incredibly smart and thorough so an absolute asset to her boss as a bookkeeper. She works alone in an office.

It disgusts me that people would be pressured into applying for carer jobs. The job has been devalued for so many years that this is what it has become when it's such an important job.

You need to be assessed for PIP, are you fit to work? They will not take away your children because you are unfit to be employed. If you are fit to work would you benefit from some courses at college to build some confidence about you going into an office job?

That sounds amazing. I'd love to do that! I wonder if they have any more vacancies.

Unfortunately, 'work coaches' push care work, regardless of an applicant's suitability.
I've wasted days training/being shadowed by 'carers' who were forced to apply, and did not want to be there. They don't last long, but it's a waste of everyone's time.
On the other hand, some people who thought they weren't cut out for carework, surprise themselves, and become good carers. I'm one of them.
I explained to my work coach that I had recently escaped from DV, with the support of Women's Aid, and was miles away from home and any support network. I was (am) a lone parent and was also, at that time, afraid of men and afraid of being 'found'. She gave me a choice of working on Iceland tills, ie, placing myself in front of a glass window, in the town centre, in full view of anyone and everyone, bar work, ie dealing with drunken men, or care work.
I've now been doing care work for 5 years and I love it! At first, I physically shook at having to even speak to strange men, never mind touch their genitals.
They don't care, but in my case, it worked out for the best.
Good luck, OP.

If there are any hotels near you they are normally desperate for cleaners as it is hard physical work.

I wouldn't put so much emphasis on needing time. This has clearly been an issue for a long time so it's not that you're being rushed. You have thought it through already by the sounds of it and the risk is overthinking it too much. Cleaning seems like a good option and your 'what ifs' around bad reviews etc are not hurdles that should be stopping you applying and finding out the reality. If you're employed as a cleaner doing offices/workplaces on a daily basis, they're unlikely to be so filthy that they're untenable for you. If you're self-employed, you can take your pick and build up suitable regular clients. The point is to do it and then all this stress about unsuitable carer roles etc will swiftly be irrelevant as you'll have taken the problem away from your work coach and be moving forward. Wanting more time is just exacerbating things and causing you more stress. It sounds like your family has the funds to act as a safety net if things don't work out, so why not try applying for cleaning jobs and see how it pans out? If you're open about your limitations but positive about your abilities, it may well work out and have you feeling better than stagnating.

I do this, though not for Sky and not freelance, and there is a bit more to it than that. You do need at least basic computer skills for the software we use, keyboard shortcuts and so on. I'm not saying OP couldn't do it - I'm sure she could - but a computer skills course might be a good idea first.

That said, it is a brilliant job and often very enjoyable (plus WFH!)

Good luck, OP.

Hi OP,

The national autistic society have an autism at work programme, if that might help?

https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/employment/autism-work-programme

If you have autism and you say you can't do it, then they really have to accept that it is out of the question for you.

Probably be helpful to think of jobs you can do. List them all in an email. Explain that your autism prevents you from certain tasks, which would rule out jobs like care work.

Each work coach links into one Disability Employment Advisor (DEA) who is there to help provide additional support for jobseekers with additional physical or mental health needs. They have better training in disabilities and tend to be more understanding and more aware of the support available.
in your position, I would ask your work coach if the two of you could meet with their DEA to discuss the best way to support you.

It's a film. Not real life.

Making people do care work who aren't suitable for the job is an awful idea.

It sounds to me that you're not on the right level with your benefits, and you're in the actively seeking work camp when you should be in the working towards work or unable to work group. It also gives you a bit more money.

Things to do:

Speak to your work coach. Write down what you've told us and ask to speak to a disability adviser.

Apply for PIP. They don't look at your children here, it's about your everyday needs and what you need help with. I've recently had a chat with a friend of mine who had the same thoughts and I pointed out to him that he and his son live with his parents and at supported, so social services will not be interested.

If you have a local volunteering service, look at what they offer - my autistic son has been teaching digital skills, such as how to use a smart phone or tablet. The service also offers basic computer skills courses. It's a small group and quiet environment. He's currently not able to work but is working towards it.

I'm also autistic with adhd. I love tech though and have a job in quality assurance. Lots of these sort of roles are wfh with minimal interaction with humans. If you can get your basic computer skills sorted, it's normal to learn different software packages when training for a role.

You have so many skills you've not tapped into yet, but they're there; attention to detail, hyper focus on a task, able to see a bigger picture, that strong sense of justice when something isn't right are just a few examples.

You can just fail at interview stage, for example say personal care makes you feel uncomfortable or you gag at cleaning bottoms!
Dont worry about work coaches, just say yes, no, three bags full Sir! Look compliant.

And start getting signed off by your doctor, cite stress/anxiety and tell theDr exactly how the DWP demands are impacting your health. After three months they’ll send you for a health assessment and probably deem you unfit for work.
What else do you do? Are you caring for children or looking after an elderly parent?

Bit unfair calling the work coach incompetent when op has hidden her diagnosis and challenges from them. They can only work with the info they're provided. As far as op has presented herself she has no barriers to work other than children when that is patently not the case.

Is this a work coach you're paying or a work coach linked to the activation part of the social welfare? I'm confused. I'm not in UK.
Caring jobs are the hardest to fill in my country, always vacancies. I was on job seekers at one point and if an activation coach had suggested a caring role to me I would have said ''no, there's nothing left in my tank, i need to look after my own interests for a while now'' which was true. People did used to suggest childminding too. I could hardly cope with my own children, one is on the autistic spectrum and everything was a challenge. Teethbrushing, bed time, getting up, washing, getting dressed, eating, absolutely everything was harder than it could have been and I had not a gram left in my tank. Utterly depleted by life. I would have been absolutely the wrong fit for a caring job. I ended up in an admin job where I sit at a desk and concentrate and it's a real break from being at home.

Can you work as a copywriter? And also do baking on the side?

OP, you sound like you have developed severe anxiety alongside autism. I'm not questioning your sensory issues at all, but what is noticeable is that you're definitely overthinking all the 'what ifs' about any potential job, undermining yourself and your ability to deal with unpredictable situations and going into your shell instead of giving it a go because you're anxious it'll go wrong for you. Tell tale signs of anxiety. Have you spoken to your GP? I think you'd benefit from CBT and maybe anti-anxiety meds, just to learn to give yourself a moment to breathe and be kinder to yourself. Assess things realistically, not negatively. Good luck!

I think that your best strategy here will be to proactively go to the work coach with a list of eg 10 jobs which you would like to do and which fit with your autism and ask for their help to apply.

That will divert their focus away from care work and onto the things which you have suggested. If they raise care work again I’d just say “I can’t do care work because of my autism. Can we try and look at the sort of roles I have suggested “

pp have also suggested some good training options and I think that you could talk to the work coach about those at the same time.

Working is a skill in its own right, in the same way that learning is. So my advice would be to work towards getting any job which you think that you could do even if you’re not keen to eg clean offices forever. I think after a year in a job you’ll find it much easier to think and plan what to do next because you’ll have developed more skills, and feel less of a disconnect with your previous experience.

I wouldnt want to be a childminder or carer. But needs must sometimes. Ask to go on a course of some sort. Most jobs these days involve using computers. Or go to the next interview with an idea of the sort of work that appeals to you. What about a restaurant or cafe to start with. They are crying out for staff. Or retail work.

Have you at least had the decency to read the OPs posts?