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Original poster

Should I encourage DS to ‘give up’ a GCSE?

60 replies

Elisheva · 27/04/2023 21:54

DS starts his GCSEs in a couple of weeks time and he is getting increasingly anxious. He is not a natural scholar and finds study hard.
I am wondering whether to advise him to focus his revision on key subjects and effectively ‘give up’ on the others. Obviously he will still take the exams, but he is unlikely to get a high grade on them even if he works really hard so it seems sensible to focus his remaining time on improving the subjects he is good at. Or is that a crazy idea after spending two years studying a subject?

OP posts:
x2boys · 28/04/2023 07:42

Elisheva · 27/04/2023 22:46

It’s crazy, he has 21 exams over four weeks.
It’s RE I’m thinking of ‘dropping’. He chose to do it and he has really enjoyed the course, but struggles with the exams. He is unlikely to get more than a four. He’s worried about upsetting his teacher!

A four is a pass!🙄

TeenDivided · 28/04/2023 07:48

Why would you 'drop' RS and not Geography given the predicted grades?

Simianwalk · 28/04/2023 07:48

homeeddingwitch · 27/04/2023 22:19

I think it’s sensible. It’s very outdated to do lots of GCSEs. Really kids only need a handful (4-5) of core subjects to go onto the next stage. If it was my DC I’d definitely be advising this. As an aside my home educated DC will only be doing 4 or 5 at most in order to get to college/A levels.

A lot of my DSs friends were homeschooled and a couple of them were discussing uni the other day and were really vocal about how annoyed they were that their parents had basically cut their chance of going to a decent uni. One in particular is very academically motivated and has been told even if he went and did more GCSEs Oxbridge would look down on the results as. Ot obtained in one year.

Personally OP I would focus on concentrating on getting 5 (including maths and English) but encourage a bit about the others. But more importantly focus on reducing the anxiety get him doing more exercise, less screen time, eating really well (keeping blood sugar regulated), sleeping early, seeing friends for a break, do some deep relaxation stuff with him (Google yoga nidra my 17year old does this when stressed), make him a place to work that isn't his bedroom if you can (we use the sitting room).
My dS has ASD and was stressed out last year but we implemented the above and it really helped.

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Original poster
Elisheva · 28/04/2023 08:38

TeenDivided · 28/04/2023 07:48

Why would you 'drop' RS and not Geography given the predicted grades?

Because we might be able to get his Geography up to a 4, and because RS seems to stress him out more for some reason!

OP posts:
Rowgtfc72 · 28/04/2023 08:43

Dd needs four gcses at grade 4 for college. English is looking a bit dicey. We stopped technology and French revision to put more effort into English. She regrets ever taking French- she's looking at a 5 or 6, but her English grade is more important.

Crazykatie · 28/04/2023 08:44

If he struggles he should do Maths, English and the subjects he enjoys a total of 5 would be good. Make sure he does complete the exams because dropping out will count against him in the future.

Spendonsend · 28/04/2023 08:55

I'd echo others with focussing on English, Maths and then whatever subjects are needed to access his next step.

I would try and work put why he is stressed about it though. 4 is an ok grade and a bit of targeted revision might secure it.

lifeturnsonadime · 28/04/2023 09:05

fUNNYfACE36 · 28/04/2023 07:07

Because your own ds is only doing 4 or 5 you are trying to convince us that it normal and OK?
If i was looking at the cv of someone like that for anything vaguely requiring any brains , I would bin it.
If he can't manage more than 4 orb5 gcses, how do you think he is going to cope with 3 a levels?

Show quote history

Well that's your prejudice speaking.

Many children who are home educated only do the number of exams required for the next stage. Mine did the 6 required.

He is doing extremely well in his A - Levels with predicted grades now raised from B's to A's and A stars and has an amazing work ethic.

No one is interested in GCSEs really beyond getting to the next stage as homeeddingwitch correctly pointed out.

pantjog · 28/04/2023 09:13

Simianwalk · 28/04/2023 07:48

A lot of my DSs friends were homeschooled and a couple of them were discussing uni the other day and were really vocal about how annoyed they were that their parents had basically cut their chance of going to a decent uni. One in particular is very academically motivated and has been told even if he went and did more GCSEs Oxbridge would look down on the results as. Ot obtained in one year.

Personally OP I would focus on concentrating on getting 5 (including maths and English) but encourage a bit about the others. But more importantly focus on reducing the anxiety get him doing more exercise, less screen time, eating really well (keeping blood sugar regulated), sleeping early, seeing friends for a break, do some deep relaxation stuff with him (Google yoga nidra my 17year old does this when stressed), make him a place to work that isn't his bedroom if you can (we use the sitting room).
My dS has ASD and was stressed out last year but we implemented the above and it really helped.

Show quote history

You should tell the disgruntled student that Oxford certainly doesn’t look down on home-educated applicants who’ve taken their exams over several sittings. My DS and DD did and they are at Cambridge and Oxford. They both did 8 or 9 subjects but a friend’s DS did only 4 and also went to Oxford.

OP, sounds like your plan is sensible in the circumstances.

BibbleandSqwauk · 28/04/2023 10:36

@Nimbostratus100 re "fraud" I got As and Bs and 1F. I have never, on any application included the F. It has never been questioned. Once I had A levels and a degree, applications only ever require the most recent, highest level qualification to be produced anyway.

Nimbostratus100 · 28/04/2023 10:49

BibbleandSqwauk · 28/04/2023 10:36

@Nimbostratus100 re "fraud" I got As and Bs and 1F. I have never, on any application included the F. It has never been questioned. Once I had A levels and a degree, applications only ever require the most recent, highest level qualification to be produced anyway.

depends on your age - these days the F has to be included in university applications, and others. In the past it didn't have to be, resulting in a lot of gaming of the system, which has been prevented by the current rules.

If you dont include it, you might get away with it, or you might not, depending on spot checks, and also if there is any other reason to look at your application more closely. But if you are found not to have included it in an application such as UCAS, when it is required, yes, you can be charged with fraud.

I have had several students charged with fraud because of their UCAS application in my career, and have been to court to give evidence in support of one of them

Simianwalk · 28/04/2023 11:02

Thank you. That is really good to know. Can I ask what courses they are taking? And which colleges? He really was quite upset and I think it would do him a good boost

Simianwalk · 28/04/2023 11:03

Sorry that was for @pantjog

titchy · 28/04/2023 11:16

No one is interested in GCSEs really beyond getting to the next stage as homeeddingwitch correctly pointed out.

Except top flight unis may well be given the intense competition which is only going to get worse. It's a very very risky strategy.

UnbeatenMum · 28/04/2023 11:18

I think it definitely makes sense to prioritise revision for some subjects over others, especially if he has more limited resources (energy, concentration etc) than other people.
I did this myself e.g. I didn't revise at all for an AS level I took because it wasn't part of my university offers and I was concerned about getting the grades I needed in the other 3. I think I also deprioritised a couple of GCSEs based on exam timing (e.g. I had Science and History the same day and prioritised Science because I was intending to take a Science A Level).

Twiglets1 · 28/04/2023 11:32

Elisheva · 28/04/2023 07:33

He will still attend the revision sessions in school and sit the exam, I’m just thinking about our revision time at home and how we make the best out of that.
He is currently predicted an 8 for music, 5/6 for Science, 5/6 for English, 5 for PE, 4 for Maths, 4 for RS and 3 for Geography. For his college course he needs 5 GCSEs at grade 4 including English and Maths.
I think we could get him a definite 6 in Science and English if we focus on that at home. He has a tutor for maths as he was really struggling.

Sounds like Geography is the one he should be not revising for if anything?

pantjog · 28/04/2023 11:42

@Simianwalk DS is studying engineering at Cambridge, DD music at Oxford. I’d rather not mention their colleges as it would be identifying. DS is at a big, old one and DD is at a small, old one! A friend’s DS read Maths at St John’s, Oxford and another friend’s DS English at Keble, Oxford. All home educated to GCSE at least and all did GCSEs over several sittings.

Runningonempty01 · 28/04/2023 15:39

Nimbostratus100 · 28/04/2023 07:19

the problem is, every single GCSE grade has to be entered on applications in the future, and leaving out fails, resits and poor grades is considered fraud.

RS is compulsory in most schools, and it is a relatively easy subject, so a poor grade in that doesn't put you in a good light.

It depends on what level your son or daughter is at really. If they are thinking of BTEC level 2, or vocational training, then concentrating on the core subjects might be the right thing to do. If they are thinking of A levels and university, be very careful about moving forward with the abandoned subjects showing on their CV as weak grades.

That was why my son didn't even turn up for his German exam. It is not on his certificates.

Stettafire · 28/04/2023 15:40

I wouldn't. If they're just starting the GCSEs it's too early to assume they'll struggle. Also access to support is available.

Stettafire · 28/04/2023 15:43

Precisely. A failed grade should never be included on an application or on your CV since it doesn't count as a valid qualification anyway. No one cares if you failed an unrelated subject, we care that you meet the requirements

LlynTegid · 28/04/2023 17:07

I would call it focusing on the important subjects.

In general I think too many exams are taken at GCSE. There seems something more sensible in something akin to the Irish Leaving Certificate, if it still exists.

2bazookas · 29/04/2023 22:02

DS starts his GCSEs in a couple of weeks time and he is getting increasingly anxious.

Of course he is. Even the brightest swots are getting anxious at this stage, it's normal. Remind him, all his pals feel like this. Nothing to do with ability .

I would caution you that getting top grades is not the main objective. There are more important things at stake here. Coping with stress (and even failure) is a lifeskill.

This is the first real grown-up challenge in life; and how he faces it sets a precedent for the many, many more to come. The first romance, driving lesson, interview, job, boss, work colleague banter are all scary experiences that everyone dreads, faces and survives. If he fails a couple of GCSE's the sky won;t fall in, he will survive and life will go on. Battle scarred but enjoying his triumphs all the more.

What's important, now, is that he doesn't just give up and melt like a snowflake in the sun; that he adjusts his mindset to something more like " I'll just Go For It, , try my best and hope for the best.".

The best way to help him through the next months is to have his back. Help him set some realistic timetable of revision time at home; broken down into segments of one or two hours at most at optimum time of day (not late at night); supported by you with a quiet space to study; breaks for snacks you provide , getting some fresh air, a change of scene if only to walk the dog, wash the car; see a pal; and making sure he gets a good sleep every night. gets up in time for a calm breakfast, sets off in good time for each exam with everything he needs. These model the lifeskills every new adult needs; to make a plan, have a strategy, follow it through, not lose heart.

myfourbubbas1 · 29/04/2023 22:08

If your son doesn't need the subject for his next steps then he's far better giving more focus on the core subjects, maths and English (so he doesn't end up having to retake them later on). The any essential for his next course.. Then he can do what he can do in the others. Usually you need 5 to get on a level 3 course and which 5 varies depending on course.. Schools do so many! So much pressure

WhoBird · 30/04/2023 06:57

fUNNYfACE36 · 28/04/2023 07:07

Because your own ds is only doing 4 or 5 you are trying to convince us that it normal and OK?
If i was looking at the cv of someone like that for anything vaguely requiring any brains , I would bin it.
If he can't manage more than 4 orb5 gcses, how do you think he is going to cope with 3 a levels?

Show quote history

So you’d bin my CV which shows that, in addition to my 6 GCSEs, I have 3 A A levels, degree from “good” university, and an MA in a subject related to my field of work? That seems pretty silly as a recruitment process! I honestly can’t say I ever look at people’s GCSEs when recruiting.

Also, it’s not “fraud” to leave out the resit history for any given GCSE from your CV!

Jenaust1985 · 30/04/2023 08:00

Fluffyowl00 · 27/04/2023 22:30

Ah. I had to have a chat with my year 11s. I can see a few of them were doing a ‘head in the sand’ about it all.

I told them from an adult perspective that the GCSEs are a pinch point after 11 years of schooling. That no one when they are 30 will care about them. That there will be mistakes and successes and that will continue throughout life. It is not a judgement. Just a starting point to make changes and decisions afterwards. And that if in doubt to imagine what IS the worst that would happen? If they fail everything (which they won’t) they can retake and/ or do something different but equally relevant in the workplace.

They told me that they found it so refreshing (I think their exact words were that I should be a motivational speaker..erm ..no)

I think the best analogy I used was between year 6 and year 7 and how worried they were about secondary school and how trivial that now seems to them.

so I would advise to speak to him about your own ‘failures’ and ‘mistakes’ and how they set you up to be the person you are now.

Then help him to set up a realistic revision programme. No more than 3-5 hours per day. Past papers I think really help. Or online quizzes.

And as a history teacher. Yes ‘drop’ a subject if necessary but go into the exam and try to answer all the questions anyway.

Ahh it is so hard. I don’t remember worrying about my GCSEs at all and I think it’s sad that they have to (too much content)

Wishing him and all 2023 candidates the best.

Im going through similar with my daughter at the moment except she is coming to the end of year 10.

Due to unexpected house move she had to change schools at the end of year 9 and found the change for Wales to England extreamly difficult it terms of course content, and what she had been learning.

Has suffered from massive anxiety since but we are winning slowly with that. For my daughter its a massive achievement that she gets up for school every morning, puts her uniform on and goes to school.

She does really well in lessons and with her written course work, but really struggles with formal exams, and then gets so upset when she gets low grades after hours spent revising/studying.

Ive had the same conversation with her as fluffyowloo, and that her world isnt go to end if she doesnt pass her GCSEs the first time around, and they are many routes afterwards to achieve what she wants to do.

I said to me it doesnt matter what she walks out with aslong as she can say she tried her hardest, and did the best she can do, nobody can ask for more than that x x x