How long will we 'get away with ' sharing meals with DD when out?

[AliceTheCamelHasFiveHumps]

DD is 3y4m and I still share meals when out. So if I order sausage, mash and veg. It's usually 3 sausages, like if mash and veggies.

She'll have ½-1 sausage,and some of the veggies and mash.
Or say, McDonald's, she'll have around 10 of my chips and maybe one chicken select.

What age did you stop sharing?

How can they swap if they don’t have their own food? 😂

Have bought a children’s meal since DS was on solids!

DS (2.5) likes to pick his own meal when we go out. He’ll usually polish off his (or as much of it as he wants) while having a nosey at mine and DHs plates to see what else he can try!
Im pretty sure I’d get some major toddler attitude if I tried not giving him his own meal tbh 😅

Quite.

Still usually share with my dd.... she is 14...

With regards to children being able to choose food and that being part of the socialisation process, my children have always been able to choose. When they were little (toddlers/ pre school age) we would obviously read a select few items out to them, including the kids menu, and they’d either share with me, DH or each other depending on preferences. As soon as they were old enough to read, they’d be given both menus and help to read them.

Interestingly, one of the reasons why DS prefers to share with me is because he gets to try new things and there’s never anything new on a kids menu. Yesterday the boys were reminiscing about the time DH and I tried to get them to try katsu curry and they’d both refused. They were agreeing how foolish they’d been as they sat eating their adult size portions of katsu curry. (They didn’t want to share because they wanted enough leftovers for lunch the next day!)

Ok. Say you order a shellfish platter for two in a fancy restaurant with your partner. When it turns up, and you vocalised the order, do you turn to him and say 'nope! I ordered it! We can't swap any!'

Or do you, in fact, say 'hmm ... all of our food is on one serving dish, but we should definitely share and swap bits. Hey, these prawns on my side are yummy, you need to try them!'

I absolutely agree that it's good for a young child to learn to order, and to make their own choices. But it's plain silly to pretend people can't share a meal that comes in one dish, or swap parts of it with each other.

I used to order food for my two children, then eat their leftovers. So they had the choice and I sucked it up. The waste would have been a lot otherwise.

I'd be interested in knowing what percentile this child has been following. That it as an extraordinary small meal!

I have experienced of feeding quite a few children and I've never heard anything like it.

I'd also wonder if she was filling up with juice or other drinks...

My niece doesn't eat huge amounts of food but her parents have ordered for her off the kids menu since weaning. As others have said, there is value to letting them choose their own meal.

As well as that, before she started getting her own meal she did get a portion of one of her parents meals. It was then hard to get her to eat her own meal as she wanted what was on mammy or daddy's plate so for a while they had to put her food onto their plate and then give it to her.

Could u even bring home the second half of the meal and use it later for her if food waste is a concern?

The portion sizes at DD's nursery (she's about 2 and a half) are way bigger than you're describing. And they feed lots of toddlers everyday so I guess they've worked out a good portion size. Actually I started increasing what I offer her at meals after seeing what she has there. (She's had a growth spurt so she's even nor putting on enough weight for her height atm)

For example, at lunch they might be offered a whole (smallish) jacket potato with beans and cheese and salad. Or a single fishcake plus chips and peas. Then at 4pm they'll have a full tuna sandwich (I mean two whole slices of bread) with slices of cucumber on the side, or a bowl of tomato soup with garlic bread to dip in. She regularly finishes all or most (often dodging the greens but that's another story).

It sounds like my 2.5yo is often having at least double or triple what your 3.5yo has in a meal. Is yours quite small for her age?

To answer your original question, we usually choose restaurants that have good kids meals, like pizza express or wagamama or a sushi place. We've been not-usually-sharing since before 2nd birthday. Sometimes we'll get two adults meals and a couple of sides and share everything, but we'd hardly ever order just two adults meals and make that stretch. We'd all be ravenous!!

Ok. Say you order a shellfish platter for two in a fancy restaurant with your partner. When it turns up, and you vocalised the order, do you turn to him and say 'nope! I ordered it! We can't swap any!'

@SarahAndQuack do you need to look up the definition of swapping?? Swapping and sharing are not the same thing when it comes to food!

I think you didn't quite understand my post.

If one person orders food for two, does that mean they can't swap bits of it?

If you had ordered a shellfish platter and the lobster happened to be on your side, would you really be saying 'no, Nigel! I ordered it and it's beside me! You can't have any!'

Of course you wouldn't. You would (like an adult) accept that, though you have ordered a single plate, it is for sharing. Therefore, you will swap between you. You won't eat all the lobster just because it's in front of you.

Mind you ... I dunno, maybe you do eat all the lobster!

But IME most people get that, if you order a plate to share, you swap the nice bits and usually you have an actual discussion about who likes what. I don't see that the OP couldn't be doing this, in the situation she describes.

I'd stop sharing when one plate isn't enough food for you both

I sometimes share and sometimes order separately for my 2 year old. But if I order separately it's very unlikely they'll eat everything and I assume DH and I will eat at least half of theirs.

There's such a massive variation in toddler appetite I think it's hard to compare.

The only time I'll share with my (almost) 3 year old is at toby carvery - I will get a king size and we will share the meet and the veg is unlimited. But other than that he always gets his own meal! I think that's all we've ever done tbh, I don't want to share my food

This 🙄

I've never shared my food. Always just bought their own, 3 is way too old to be doing this.

I'm surprised you're still getting away with it tbh.

OP have you ever offered your DC 2 chicken select or only ever offer 1 and 10 chips? A 3 year old needs more food than that. Order child a child's meal and let them choose what they eat.

Erm our twins are 1 they've been eating there own chips and nugget happy meals for a while now. If we go out they all get there own meals twins and 2 year son all used to eating with there own forks,spoons...it doesn't sound like yours is eating barly enough

I think it’s rude to the restaurant or cafe to share meals like that. Very rude. It’s the equivalent of sitting at a table on your laptop for hours on one cup of coffee.

I never did it, mine always had their own meal at home and when out. Always had a very good appetite and would certainly not have been satisfied with half a sausage and ten chips! That's awful. If you can't afford to pay for a child's meal, don't eat out with her.

Depends what the meal is and how big it is. But I’ve been ordering DS his own meal most of the time since he was around 12 months old. Probably early but I didn’t want to share my food anymore lol, and we don’t go out for food a lot.

Wow that sounds like a tiny amount of food. Like most posters, I think we started giving my son his own meal from 18 months or so. I'm surprised restaurants are happy with that at that age. I also prefer being able to eat my own meal!

Depends where we go, if it’s her favorite restaurant, I had to stop sharing when she was about 2 because I realized I wasn’t getting any! If I think DH and I are likely to want 2/3 of our food or less, we’d usually share, otherwise would order extra starters or possibly her own food. She’ll put away an adult portion of pad Thai for example. DD is 4.5.