How long will we 'get away with ' sharing meals with DD when out?

[AliceTheCamelHasFiveHumps]

DD is 3y4m and I still share meals when out. So if I order sausage, mash and veg. It's usually 3 sausages, like if mash and veggies.

She'll have ½-1 sausage,and some of the veggies and mash.
Or say, McDonald's, she'll have around 10 of my chips and maybe one chicken select.

What age did you stop sharing?

My daughters are teens and both shared a meal yesterday. No one blinked.

Only read the first page but I’m quite surprised by the responses. I still share sometimes with my nearly 10 year old! For example we’ll share in an Indian restaurant and a big portion of fish and chips is enough for us to share.

I think it partly depends on the type of restaurant, right?

Getting two curries and sharing rice or splitting a pizza and salad is different to ordering a chicken breast or seabass or something plated up for one.

It's not just about how much you physically want to eat. We went out for a family meal on Saturday for a birthday. Me, DH, my elderly parents and adult daughter. 86 year old mum eats like a bird, DH has a reduced appetite due to recent illness and 20 year old DD is low carbing for bikini season. If we all ordered the quantity we were going to eat then the restaurant would have given up a table for 5 for 2 hours and taken barely 30 quid. So we ordered 5 meals and had the leftovers for lunch yesterday. If you really can't afford it then that's different. But the implication on this thread is that it's not about money. In which case restaurant etiquette is a consideration.

Did you factor in the extra effort and cost for the restaurant to box up your food? And the landfill waste from all your cartons? Did you consider you could have been in and out in under an hour if you'd rushed with starter portions? Did you buy wine you didn't drink too?

It isn't actually a simple "I do this, so that's the only morally responsible action." There are a heap of variables.

At 3, she should be having her own meals.

I can't imagine tucking into a meal while my child has half a sausage from my plate. Honestly, it's laughable, never mind mean.

There are restaurants which serve enormous platters of food where it is accepted that small children will have their meal from that and a plate provided. However that doesn't apply to most ordinary cafes or restaurants.

As for taking leftovers home (extremely common abroad and does happen here), I 'get' the comment about the time and the waste involved, however the restaurant people offer this service so what do you do? Leave it behind? I don't eat out much these days but used to and a Mexican restaurant was a favourite who always offered to box up what was not eaten. My son and friends frequently go there and to other places locally and are always taking home food to have for breakfast :-), or later in the day.

Takeaways and online meal deliveries also add to our waste but nowadays biodegradable containers are generally used. If they are not food stained, ie lids, or are foil, I wash them and put in my recycling waste bin.

We all do our best I'm sure. However this thread is about a three year old eating a tiny bit of food from her mother's plate in a cafe when she deserves to at least have a child's meal. If that can't be managed then don't go out to eat too often.

I find this attitude a bit strange.

I don't expect my 3 year old to eat everything on their plate at home or in a restaurant. I think it's normal and expected that they won't finish a meal. That doesn't mean I don't think it's worth them having one.

I don't always finish my meal in a restaurant either, as long as I enjoyed what I had, I still think it's worth it.

For me, it's worth ordering my 3 year old their own meal so that they can order what they want, I can order what I want, and I don't have to mess around with extra plates etc.

I do enjoy things like tapas and they work well for us as a family as we have a combination of food allergies and dietary requirements that otherwise makes things hard.

So after a few bites of food is that it till the next meal or does your 3yr say they are hungry and snack between meals

I see both sides of this tbh. I agree 1/2 a sausage is a very small amount for most 3years olds, but equally I vividly recall all the way up until middle school that I could never finish a portion and even a happy meal would be a bit much. No eating issue I just really struggled to manage a lot in one sitting. Parents happily brought older and younger brothers own plates so it wasn't a question of I would eat more but wasn't afford the opportunity, I just didn't want to. My brothers on the other hand had theirs and finished mine so no waste I guess 😅

We have our own 21 month old now and he can polish off half (or nearly half) a kids meal in a lot of places and would manage closer to two sausages given the chance.
A lot really does depend where we are. A lot of locals do meals made for under 5s then under 12s then adults so portions (and prices) are a bit more logical. The place you eat at really does make a massive difference. We find Toby is great as their baby bowel/carvery gets a bit of meat for a couple of quid and his choice of veg. Given that I think Nandos kids portione are blooming big as well, maybe try something more like that to get her use to the idea of ordering and share in the restaurants that seem to give massive portions.

So a typical day might look like this;

Breakfast 7am; dippy egg and 100ml milk
Snack 10am; 1" square savoury flapjack / 3-4 strawberries / baby bel
Lunch 12:30; oatcake, ½" cucumber, 2 cherry toms, nugget size piece of toast chicken
Snack 3pm; 5 olives/3-4 carrot sticks
Dinner 5:30pm; ½-1 sausage, tbsp peas, big spoon of mash.

Not unreasonable? Loads of kids her age snack on more between larger meals.

If she's still hungry after any main meal, she might have some greek yoghurt / cheese/cashew nuts etc.

But sometimes she won't even finish everything listed above. She's never forced to eat everything, she gets choices where possible. So like, she can choose between porridge/eggs/pancakes for breakfast or she'll be asked if she'd like a beef or cheese sandwich and all that stuff. She can help herself at meal times, 9/10 we have food on table in shared dishes.

She's growing, isn't grumpy, lots of energy, sleeps well etc

Even at restaurants she can choose what she's having, as she'll pretty much eat anything, so if she wants to choose the beef pie or the steak. It's fine. She's choosing... She just eats a sparrows portion,and I never really saw the point of paying for food that wouldn't be eaten. But we'll see how it goes and she might start eating loads soon?

They are all different @AliceTheCamelHasFiveHumps I’m not judging here honestly. You know what your child needs. As a comparison that’s what my DD was eating at 1.

DD is 3.5 and on a home day (as I don’t see the nursery portions) she will typically have:

Breakfast- 2 slices peanut butter on toast. Thick sliced bread, she leaves crusts. She might leave one triangle. Yoghurt or fruit. Unlimited milk to drink-probably 250ml or so.

Lunch- 2 sausages, 3 new potatoes, 4 large florets brocolli (sometimes more, she loves broccoli). Fruit for pudding- she might eat half a small punnet of strawberries or most of a large pear for example.

Snack - couple of crackers and cheese

Tea - Beans on toast (most/all of a small tin). One slice of toast depending how hungry, sometimes more. Cucumber sticks.

She drinks whole milk and water during the day and also has a small diluted fresh orange (to hide an orange flavour powdered prescription medication she has-otherwise we wouldn’t routinely give it).

Her appetite fluctuates though depending on growing, sometimes she will eat half that, other days she will have all that and more. At nursery she usually has double portions (they encourage them to choose).

We host play dates and eat out with friends and I’d say DD is probably a slightly better eater than some of her friends but they all eat similar amounts. Her bestie polished off 2.5 sausages for lunch the other day.

I Prob wouldn't give a snack between breakfast and lunch and she would prob eat more at lunchtime

Or one piece of fruit like they get at pre school /school

Not flapjacks /biscuits and cheese

She is a very light eater based on that.

My 3 year old eats four meals a day (two breakfasts) - a two egg omelette and toast would be a typical meal size for him.

I think it would be worth checking her weight to make sure she isn't underweight. If she is a healthy weight then crack on!

She's a very light eater. My DD2 is 10 months old and could put away most of those portions, and my just turned 4yo definitely eats far more than that. But if she's growing well and is healthy then maybe that's just her normal.

Why can't my DD have a small snack in the 5 hours between meals? 🤔 Why does she need to eat more at main meals? Millions of kids snack between their meals and that's ok. She's growing and lots of energy etc why would it be better for her to wait 5 hours??

And besides, a 1" square of savoury flapjack has no more calories than a small banana that you're suggesting... ? And she'd have babybel OR a biscuit OR a small square if flapjack.... And that was just an example... some days it might be a handful of blueberries, some days 6-10 cashew nuts, some days a custard cream etc

She's 80 centile height and 75 weight
She's fine

I think it’s safe to say that this is the only mumsnet thread ever where a mum has been advised to feed her child less nutritionally balanced food to ensure the finish all of their McDonald’s chicken nuggets.

Ha ha @karmakameleon one assumes she didn't having Mac Donald's for every meal

Still not sure why her going 5 hours between food in order to get her to eat more at that time is preferable to what we have now?

I think because generally a meal is more nutritious than a snack so better to fill up on meals rather than snacky food.

If she didn't snack then would eat more at meal times

You seem to be the one that has a problem with the amount she's eating at meal times, not sure why?. I'm not bothered about it...

Why is her having carrot sticks at 3 somehow less nutritious than eating steamed carrots at 5:30 with dinner? 🤔🤔🤔

Her diet seems to be based on sugary carbs and is quite low on protein. Nothing wrong with carbs and children need the energy but I would be looking at increasing the amount of chicken etc and reducing the amount of mash for example. Your lunch example seems especially low in protein