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Original poster

How long will we 'get away with ' sharing meals with DD when out?

299 replies

AliceTheCamelHasFiveHumps · 22/04/2023 17:09

DD is 3y4m and I still share meals when out. So if I order sausage, mash and veg. It's usually 3 sausages, like if mash and veggies.

She'll have ½-1 sausage,and some of the veggies and mash.
Or say, McDonald's, she'll have around 10 of my chips and maybe one chicken select.

What age did you stop sharing?

OP posts:
Goodoccasionallypoor · 22/04/2023 20:38

I never understands threads like like this - op, why ask people for input if you think you're doing the right thing and don't want to hear what anyone else thinks?

Silkrose · 22/04/2023 21:13

I was out with relatives once and they directed their normal-sized and very obedient 13 year old to order something from the childrens menu at lunchtime. As far as I know they had not had a particularly large breakfast or a recent snack. The portion that arrived was pitiful and the kid looked disappointed (and still hungry afterwards!) so the parents let them have a dessert from the childrens menu too.

Not a struggling family, financially. It was bizarre.

karmakameleon · 22/04/2023 21:19

Goodoccasionallypoor · 22/04/2023 20:38

I never understands threads like like this - op, why ask people for input if you think you're doing the right thing and don't want to hear what anyone else thinks?

To be fair to the OP, she isn’t saying that sharing isn’t working and looking for advice, just asking how much longer she can do it for. And as I said above, my DS who is perfectly able to speak his mind prefers to share. Another poster with a teen said the same. So on that basis, maybe another ten years.

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karmakameleon · 22/04/2023 21:22

FWIW my children are always offered the children’s menu and very rarely do they choose it. Usually when it’s sushi as then our food is a bit too adventurous, or if it’s a pub roast. Otherwise they look at me like I’m queer.

AlltheFs · 22/04/2023 21:22

Definitely before 2, I can’t remember when exactly as being a Covid impacted baby it was all a bit fucked up and we didn’t eat out much at all. Lockdown started same week as we weaned!

But she definitely had own meals before 2nd birthday. But not when she was 1, so somewhere in between the two.

LolaSmiles · 22/04/2023 21:25

See for me I don’t see that - I just see comment after comment of people saying their child would eat a whole portion of food from a really, really young age. That has not been my experience of having children at all
Mine didn't eat a whole children's meal at 3, but they sure weren't having half a sausage and a couple of fries and sharing an average adult portion with me (because the adult portion is designed for me, not me plus a hungry child).

Like othe posters, we decided that DC could eat what they wanted to and decide to stop when they were full. It helped them understand being full and listening to their bodies, which is difficult for a child to learn if their parents are giving them tiny portions and they watch their parents eating lots less than a typical adult portion.

AlltheFs · 22/04/2023 21:29

DD is 3.5 and will eat for example- 2 sausages, about half the portion of chips from a kids meal, all the beans and have an ice cream. Or at McD’s she will eat all of a chicken nuggets Happy Meal (sometimes not all the chips), and a mini mcflurry. She’s tall-ish and skinny in the way kids are meant to be.

She does eat all sorts though, pastas, curries, chillies, whatever. Not just standard beige kids food. I often order her a small version of my main, most places are fine with that.

I do share a pudding with her sometimes, after she has had her own main as sometimes the kids options are limited.

karmakameleon · 22/04/2023 21:39

AlltheFs · 22/04/2023 21:29

DD is 3.5 and will eat for example- 2 sausages, about half the portion of chips from a kids meal, all the beans and have an ice cream. Or at McD’s she will eat all of a chicken nuggets Happy Meal (sometimes not all the chips), and a mini mcflurry. She’s tall-ish and skinny in the way kids are meant to be.

She does eat all sorts though, pastas, curries, chillies, whatever. Not just standard beige kids food. I often order her a small version of my main, most places are fine with that.

I do share a pudding with her sometimes, after she has had her own main as sometimes the kids options are limited.

Pudding is the only thing that my DSs won’t share! Everyone wants their own scoop of ice cream 😀

thymewaster · 22/04/2023 21:39

Dc never shared. Once when my youngest was 3 we went to Toby carvery and the waitress suggested they share and she'll bring out a bowl for them & inform the carvers at no extra charge- worked fine for us as they had a slither of gammon, green beans, macaroni cheese & a Yorkshire pudding so no complaints

SarahAndQuack · 22/04/2023 21:40

DD is six and we still share sometimes, but we are in Yorkshire and they like their big portions. If I want to let her have the fun of choosing but not waste food, I get her to have a starter. Usually the starters are more interesting anyway.

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 22/04/2023 21:43

For me, it's not necessarily about what the child will eat, more that they're taking up a space that could go to a customer who's actually earning the restaurant money.

I think it takes the piss a bit to have a 3yo sitting there sharing food with their parents (allergies etc. aside) - if they're old enough to have a proper chair, they're old enough for you to be paying for a separate meal for them, even if they only eat half of it.

SarahAndQuack · 22/04/2023 21:51

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 22/04/2023 21:43

For me, it's not necessarily about what the child will eat, more that they're taking up a space that could go to a customer who's actually earning the restaurant money.

I think it takes the piss a bit to have a 3yo sitting there sharing food with their parents (allergies etc. aside) - if they're old enough to have a proper chair, they're old enough for you to be paying for a separate meal for them, even if they only eat half of it.

That's really wasteful, though. Couldn't you just take your child at a less busy time if you're that fussed?

karmakameleon · 22/04/2023 21:52

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 22/04/2023 21:43

For me, it's not necessarily about what the child will eat, more that they're taking up a space that could go to a customer who's actually earning the restaurant money.

I think it takes the piss a bit to have a 3yo sitting there sharing food with their parents (allergies etc. aside) - if they're old enough to have a proper chair, they're old enough for you to be paying for a separate meal for them, even if they only eat half of it.

Aren’t children’s menus often loss leaders anyway? Might be cheaper for the restaurant if they don’t eat.

Alexandra1991 · 22/04/2023 21:54

We've been ordering our DD her own meals since she was about 10/11 months! But I do occasional shifts at a pub which gets me employee discount at all of their other brands too so we tend to go to one of them if with DD.

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 22/04/2023 21:55

SarahAndQuack · 22/04/2023 21:51

That's really wasteful, though. Couldn't you just take your child at a less busy time if you're that fussed?

Show quote history

I don't have DC, but I'm going to assume that going at a less busy time isn't always an option for many families.

I just think if restaurants offer a children's menu, then that's what you should be ordering from. You can always ask for a half portion of a child's meal if you're worried about waste.

Floralnomad · 22/04/2023 21:56

Our youngest hardly ever ate anything when out but surely the point of going out as a family to eat is letting the kiddies pick what they want off the menu and treating them the same way as everyone else in the group .

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 22/04/2023 21:56

karmakameleon · 22/04/2023 21:52

Aren’t children’s menus often loss leaders anyway? Might be cheaper for the restaurant if they don’t eat.

Show quote history

I guess it depends on the restaurant, but I just think that if a child is old enough to take up a seat, they're old enough to have their own meal.

SarahAndQuack · 22/04/2023 21:59

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 22/04/2023 21:55

I don't have DC, but I'm going to assume that going at a less busy time isn't always an option for many families.

I just think if restaurants offer a children's menu, then that's what you should be ordering from. You can always ask for a half portion of a child's meal if you're worried about waste.

Show quote history

Confused You think people are forced at gunpoint to go out to a restaurant at a certain time, because they have kids? I'm really sure this isn't the case.

I almost never order from the children's menu because it's usually pretty boring and DD won't eat it all, but as a PP says, it's often a loss leader - they charge very little to encourage parents in to spend more. And no, you can't always ask for a half portion - it's cheeky to order off-menu, and doubly cheeky to do it when you're asking for something that costs so little.

Whyx · 22/04/2023 22:02

So my 3.5 year old probably eats similarly unless going through an obvious growth spurt he's actually growing a centile above his birth/baby years centile so I'm pretty sure he's eating as much as he needs. Part of it is that he's easily distracted.

However, I always order him his own portion because I think it's part of teaching him how to eat out, how to order for himself etc. He now orders his own meals once I've told him the options. We often just take the leftovers home and have an easy dinner sorted!

lifesnotaspectatorsport · 22/04/2023 22:09

Hmm I think about 3 is when my eldest started regularly having own meal rather than sharing. He was a real grazer, would never eat much at one sitting until he was older. It took till 5 before he would eat a whole kids burger.

But we have younger kids and so now we normally order for ourselves and get some food for them to share. We went out for pizza tonight; we shared one pizza and the 3 kids shared another, with us having the leftovers of that (crusts 🙄)

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 22/04/2023 22:12

I don't think it matters that much - but it's tight AF to not get her a Happy Meal.

Littlebluebellwoods · 22/04/2023 22:17

I also didn’t share meals at this age, is it a financial issue? I get it if it is. She’s not getting much, she’s getting scraps of your plate.

I think if it’s financial then limit how often you eat out and when you do buy her a portion, it’s important she learns how to behave in restaurants and also that she’s treated as part of the family and not some after thought thrown some scraps whilst you and your husband dig in.

grayhairdontcare · 22/04/2023 22:17

Honestly. Just buy your child their own food or don't eat out.
She is not a baby anymore and should be having her own meal!

AlltheFs · 22/04/2023 22:17

karmakameleon · 22/04/2023 21:39

Pudding is the only thing that my DSs won’t share! Everyone wants their own scoop of ice cream 😀

Show quote history

Ha! Yes on the ice cream, but sometimes DD wants a Brownie or Eton Mess or similar. I’m not letting a 3 year old loose on an adult brownie- and I’m a bit fatter than ideal so happy to share one as I don’t have a very sweet tooth.

shelbaba · 22/04/2023 22:18

My kids eat hardly anything we stopped sharing with her probably few months before age 2. It gets a bit embarrassing not ordering a meal for them is the main reason!

I've got 2 now and we sometimes only order 1 kids meal between the two as often even that doesn't get eaten but sometimes I do order 2 if I think they cld be quite hungry. Sometimes they do well with a meal each other times they barely even eat 1 meal between them lol. They are 3 and 5 now. It feels like I'm being stingy though so I often just get them 2.