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Original poster

If you are comfortably-off and have state educated children, do you donate money to their school?

118 replies

LabradorsByTheSea · 18/04/2023 19:10

A friend, whose business has done extremely well (now a household name) has recently donated money for a beautiful new sensory room at her kids’ state school. They are multi millionaires but will never privately educate as a principle. They’ve got great kids who attend lovely non-selective state schools. And we’ve always sent a fair sized cheque at bonus time to our son’s school, and pay for two spaces on any trips/ residentials.

We’ve got one in private and one in a lovely village school ( he will move to independent for secondary, but DD also attended a prep school so suez had a much costlier education), and it seems fair to give something, considering we could easily afford fees but DS is getting a fantastic, free education. We cannot fault his school, he’s had an amazing experience there. The HT always sends a thank you card and lets us know what the money has been spent on, so I assume it’s appreciated. And it always feels more worthwhile than our respective Oxford colleges who endlessly press us for cash.

I was just wondering how usual this is. And also, weather we should thinking about matching donations to a school in a less affluent area, as DS’s school has a very enterprising PTA, who already pay for great activities and facilities and I’m aware schools just down the road don’t have this. I’m not quite sure how to make an approach about that without sounding patronising or a bit odd.

OP posts:
HistoryFanatic · 19/04/2023 06:08

Minierme · 18/04/2023 19:43

I think it’s a lovely thing to do, we give small amounts as cost of living crisis and a disabled son has meant we are a lot poorer than we used to be, but I’ve said to my husband if we ever win the lottery I would keep our children in their school and donate large amounts to enable better SEN provision and extra teachers and trips.

If you fancy donating to a school in a poorer area can I suggest a school in a deprived area out of London - places like Hull or Great Yarmouth for example. They receive a lot less money and often have higher needs than average. You would be like a phenomenal fairy godmother.

I probably live in one of the deprived areas in Hull you are thinking of. Yes Hull gets left out when money goes to other parts of the North. My DD's school had to replace the AstroTurf pitch because it was damaged by non pupils. That must have cost a lot. Plus many kids will be pupil premium.

greentealeaves · 19/04/2023 06:21

No. I think it's unethical tbh. The government should make all schools fairly funded. Me contributing wouldn't help that.

TheaBrandt · 19/04/2023 06:25

We make a voluntary contribution each month. I know it goes into a pot to fund things for kids who can’t afford trips etc. it’s a very good school - single sex /top results in county results are just as good as the local girls private / both dds have nice friends and are happy. We are saving thousands not needing to go private. We could just afford private for two but it would massively impact our standard of living.

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General education Private schooling
imissbread · 19/04/2023 07:16

Radiodread · 18/04/2023 20:27

No, because the schools most in need will be the ones who are at the bottom of the financial pile, with parents unable to make donations. It just exacerbates the gap in resources between disadvantaged and more advantaged schools. Unless you are donating to the schools with the highest proportions of children in need.

Plus, I am wary of creating a system where 'big society' (!) pays for schools. It should come from tax and spend.

I agree with this, you're creating another tier in the system just like private schools.

And making it easier for governments to reduce funding further because they know someone else (parents) are picking up the slack.

Theelephantinthecastle · 19/04/2023 07:19

HistoryFanatic · 19/04/2023 06:02

Plenty of children in this country are in poverty though. Plenty of schools are also struggling as they don't have enough in their budgets. I don't see why you wouldn't help donate in this country too?

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Because my money can go a lot further and have much more impact in a poorer country.

Do you know how many children die of malaria? How cheap mosquito nets are?

If I was Bill Gates I might donate here too but I only have limited funds and I want them to do as much good as possible.

HistoryFanatic · 19/04/2023 07:55

Theelephantinthecastle · 19/04/2023 07:19

Because my money can go a lot further and have much more impact in a poorer country.

Do you know how many children die of malaria? How cheap mosquito nets are?

If I was Bill Gates I might donate here too but I only have limited funds and I want them to do as much good as possible.

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I am sure ensuring children have uniforms, coats etc will do good too. We are fortunate not to have to worry about our children dying of malaria but even a small donation will help some children have uniform or food though. Your money of course. Child poverty is rising here and schools help with that.

VincentVaguer · 19/04/2023 07:56

It would never have occurred to me, no.

Movingonupi · 19/04/2023 07:58

Only if asked, and they never ask for money so I don’t! I do occasionally bring in books that my children no longer need and donations for school fairs etc. if I was asked by them for a small amount each month I would consider it, but they don’t ask so I assume they are ok for money 🤷‍♀️

Theelephantinthecastle · 19/04/2023 08:14

HistoryFanatic · 19/04/2023 07:55

I am sure ensuring children have uniforms, coats etc will do good too. We are fortunate not to have to worry about our children dying of malaria but even a small donation will help some children have uniform or food though. Your money of course. Child poverty is rising here and schools help with that.

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Genuine question: do you really think children in the UK need the money more?

unfor · 19/04/2023 08:29

Neither of the schools my DC has attended have ever asked for money or suggested that parents should donate. Many parents simply wouldn't have the money and the school wouldn't want to put them in a difficult position. I was chair of governors at the primary school, and there was a strong culture of not doing anything that might underline the differences in circumstance between families.

I find it really sad that schools with an affluent catchment or which are selective are able to supplement their budgets in this way, whereas many (most?) schools are not in a position to do so. As PPs have pointed out, this just reinforcing existing inequalities.

taxguru · 19/04/2023 08:37

We did a monthly standing order for around ÂŁ50 per month I seem to remember to my son's state school. They had a very active "Friends of...." run by parents, the HT and a few staff who did an awful lot of fund raising, and part of that was handing out "gift aid" forms with a standing order form attached at the open days, induction days, parents evenings and other events, There was no "pressure" as such and no chasing people up who didn't do it, no shame if you didn't, but let's say they didn't miss any opportunity to make it easy for parents to donate! They also ran a shop in the school to sell second hand uniform, stationery, calculators, and even had some branded merchandise such as key rings, umbrellas, coasters, pens, etc., and had a stand at induction and open days, parents' evenings, etc., selling it, as well as providing refreshments (tea, coffee, biscuits, etc) at parents evenings, sports days, etc.

Over the time my son was there, the "friends" bought a equipment including a 3d printer and laser cutter for the tech dept, lighting/sound equipment for drama, various items of sports equipment including a trampolene & cricket/tennis equipment, cameras and drawing tablets for the art dept, and lots of small grants for the various after school clubs/societies, as well as funding team kits and transport for sports competition travel.

VincentVaguer · 19/04/2023 08:39

Why is this Ok and yet paying fees isn't?! Surely this just increases the divide between state school in wealthy areas and those not?

taxguru · 19/04/2023 08:39

unfor · 19/04/2023 08:29

Neither of the schools my DC has attended have ever asked for money or suggested that parents should donate. Many parents simply wouldn't have the money and the school wouldn't want to put them in a difficult position. I was chair of governors at the primary school, and there was a strong culture of not doing anything that might underline the differences in circumstance between families.

I find it really sad that schools with an affluent catchment or which are selective are able to supplement their budgets in this way, whereas many (most?) schools are not in a position to do so. As PPs have pointed out, this just reinforcing existing inequalities.

My son's school isn't in a "wealthy" catchment area, It's in a pretty run down Northern town with lots of deprivation. There's no "pressure" to donate, but they make it easy to donate for those who can. Parents/pupils really wouldn't know who donates and who doesn't.

Sounds like chopping your nose off to spite your face if a school doesn't make any provision for parents who can donate, to do so, just because some parents wouldn't be able to do.

Spendonsend · 19/04/2023 08:49

VincentVaguer · 19/04/2023 08:39

Why is this Ok and yet paying fees isn't?! Surely this just increases the divide between state school in wealthy areas and those not?

It does and it doesnt. Some of the school funding includes a postcode proxy and PP children have more funding too (rightly). So some of the least funded schools are in wealthier postcodes. There are two schools in my village and one has about ÂŁ800 per pupil less than the other averaged out but the difference can be starker than that.

Sloop89 · 19/04/2023 09:30

It's not a race to the bottom. You can choose to vote for those who would fund all schools properly while propping up your child's current school. It's the same with private schools. Don't abolish them - level up the state schools and people won't use them!

mybeautifuloak · 19/04/2023 10:46

Xenia · 18/04/2023 20:38

I just paid for private schools. When you give to the state school I wonder how that works in terms of charitable donation - do they get the tax on it too like a charity or are state schools not charities?
Also how you can check the head is not simply taking the money for a luxury holiday - unlkely but sadly these things happen - do you get to see the flow of your funds to the item whih has been bought? I would have thought books for a child in a bad school are probably more useful than whatever is a "sensory room".

You wouldn't write a cheque to the head or transfer to her personal account.

Xenia · 19/04/2023 11:41

It would be nice if instead of the 20% of our massive taxes going to state schools we could instead decide how that 20% it is spent on state education based on our own preferences and then make it as a tax free charitable donation.

Switchwitch · 19/04/2023 11:45

Surely there is a conflict of interest for large personal donations? Is it just a way to ensure your child gets treated the best?

goodkidsmaadhouse · 19/04/2023 12:05

There are state schools in parts of SW London (possibly other areas too but these are just ones I know) where it is pretty normal to give regular donations. I guess those schools are starting to blur the line between state and private a la Henrietta Barnett and similar.

We don’t give huge donations but always put a lot into PTA fundraisers etc. Also DH and I both volunteer at the school. Maybe when the kids leave we will give a more substantial donation but it feels sort of weird doing it while they’re there.

goodkidsmaadhouse · 19/04/2023 12:09

Xenia · 19/04/2023 11:41

It would be nice if instead of the 20% of our massive taxes going to state schools we could instead decide how that 20% it is spent on state education based on our own preferences and then make it as a tax free charitable donation.

Sorry what? Why should people who have no idea about running schools get to decide what school funding is spent on?
(See your comment about the sensory room/books… a lot of kids can’t actually access those books if they don’t have a space they can retreat to where they feel safe…)

Sloop89 · 19/04/2023 12:25

@Switchwitch At our school you give to the trust who then gives it to the school so the head etc is none the wiser as to who has given what.

greentealeaves · 19/04/2023 12:56

@Sloop89 who realistically is going to fund schools properly though?! It is totally unfair system that some schools are allowed to be propped up by parents in more affluent areas.

Cannot understand why people hope that the 20%vat rise on private schools will squeeze more dc out of private schools and into state whilst simultaneously being happy some parents 'pay' towards their dc state schools to achieve more than those with less affluent parents.

Yellowdays · 19/04/2023 13:19

Did you Oxford college not point out that it's whether not weather!

Yellowdays · 19/04/2023 13:22

And Xenia , your position is both controlling and, in relation to tax, unpleasantly self serving. You are unreasonable. Lots of people make much bigger contributions than their "share", and funnily enough, not always financially.

L1ttledrummergirl · 19/04/2023 13:40

Ds1 state grammar encourages parents and alumni to donate. They have regular reunion dates at which I suspect those who attend are encouraged to sign up to small regular amounts.

We are unlikely to ever be in a position to help, but some of the families move in much more expensive circles so I suspect they are. Ds1 has benefitted hugely as the scholarship had amazing facilities as a result. The PTA could fundraisers enough I had a year to buy a brand new minibus outright (I was on the committee so I was aware of the figures).

The difference that sort of money could have made to our local comprehensive makes me want to cry. Even a fraction would have been unreal.