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Original poster

Divorce entitlement

45 replies

cantgetabus · 16/04/2023 15:44

I also have this posted In The divorce topic.

Hi all, newly separated after 30 years of emotional abuse. I'm in shreds but can see it all so clearly now.
I had to give up work 7 years ago due to breakdown caused primarily by the abuse. I've only done babysitting and cleaning since for part time hours.

Can you please give me an idea of what my financial rights would be divorcing. He earns over £100,000.

Would I be likely to be paid a monthly amount from him? I have no clue and I'm not in a very good place.

OP posts:
Cleoforever · 16/04/2023 15:46

Impossible to answer without a multiple of detailed questions

Cleoforever · 16/04/2023 15:47

And any poster who has

you can safely assume they haven’t been through a divorce

Cleoforever · 16/04/2023 15:47

And sure as heck not a divorce lawyer

get yourself a kick ass lawyer Op.

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Original poster
cantgetabus · 16/04/2023 15:50

Has anyone been in the same situation to give me an idea please

OP posts:
MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 16/04/2023 15:51

You need to give more information about your circumstances, OP. E.g. do you have children, how old are they etc?

Original poster
cantgetabus · 16/04/2023 15:52

Grown up daughter

OP posts:
Babyroobs · 16/04/2023 15:54

I'm not sure spousal maintenance is a thing any more so possibly unlikely to get a monthly amount. I imagine it would just be a clean break division of assets/ pensions etc.

Effieswig · 16/04/2023 15:55

It’s almost impossible to say. There’s unlikely to be anyone who has been in the exact same position.

You are looking at spousal maintenance. It’s rare. But does happen. Usually for a limited period.

and it’s not always in your best interests to still be financially reliant on and abuse ex.

Are there assets, does he have a pension. Long term it could be better to get a larger portion of that and have a clean break.

HarrietStyles · 16/04/2023 15:55

How many children do you have? How old are they? What percentage custody do you think your husband will want - 50% or EOW? Do you own property? How much equity is there? Do you and he have pensions? Savings in the bank? How long have you been married?
A lot of variables to consider. Best bet is to gather all paperwork and financial evidence you have and go see a professional solicitor.

Original poster
cantgetabus · 16/04/2023 15:57

Been together 30 years. Married 23. I have no pension as he told me it wasn't worth paying into it as he had a big pension. Yes I know. I've had low income jobs and he has been the main earner. I did everything at home

OP posts:
Original poster
cantgetabus · 16/04/2023 15:58

Seems unfair that he carries on in a very well paid job that I supported him to be able to do and I'm left on minimum wage

OP posts:
gogohmm · 16/04/2023 15:59

The reason for your split is not relevant to your settlement. The amount you get will depend on your total assets (property, pension ms, savings) and earning potential of both parties. As you do not have school aged children it will be assumed you work full time and the amount you earn will be looked at along side his.

For example my dp gave his exw 50% of assets and paid £800 a month for 5 years, for him this was better than more assets up front due to age.

I received £550 a month in Spousal to mostly cover the costs of our adult child with additional needs

FrownedUpon · 16/04/2023 15:59

Very unlikely to get a monthly amount. Can you get a full time job & support yourself?

gogohmm · 16/04/2023 16:00

Spousal is a thing but courts prefer a final settlement if there's sufficient assets because it means people aren't going back to court to contest!

Greensleevevssnotnose · 16/04/2023 16:02

Spousal support is extremely unlikely then Starting point is 50% of marital assets and his pension but as you have no dependant children that's is likely to be 50%.

Livinghappy · 16/04/2023 16:03

No one can say for certain however your age is relevant and what assets exist, including any pensions.

Best to assume 50:50 split but if you have low mortgage raising capability you may get more to enable you to have housing. If you have no dependent children then housing needs are going to be set as minimum..1 or 2 bed place.

Spousal maintenance is unlikely to be longterm, even if awarded, maybe 3 years. Worth checking your state pension entitlement at state retirement age.

It will feel stressful but you will get through this and whilst you may not have the same standard of living (2 households are more expensive than one) you will be OK.

Pashy · 16/04/2023 16:05

Spousal maintenance is rare, and is usually for a short time to allow the less well off partner time to retrain and/or get a job that will allow them to support themselves.

How much equity is in the house? Do you have joint savings? Any other assets? A solicitor will be able to look at what share of his pension you can request.

Skankylanky · 16/04/2023 16:06

Unfortunately you're not likely to receive a monthly amount.

How much equity is in the house/savings?

You're likely to receive around 50% of this.

Then you'll need to start looking to find a full time job.

Soloparenthelp · 16/04/2023 16:07

The starting point is generally 50/50. Apart from that, you need a solicitor. There are many factors that no one on the internet is going to be able to tell you and it would be irresponsible to as it may get your hopes up. Solicitors initial meetings are generally £150/£250 for the consultation. It will be the best money spent.

Milkand2sugarsplease · 16/04/2023 16:11

Spousal maintenance is rarely granted these days, so don't pin hopes on that.

Marital assets will look to be split 50/50 and it's up to your solicitor to negotiate from there. A good solicitor will be able to get you more than 50 in your circs - a higher percentage of the marital home and some of his pension.

Speak to a few solicitors and get a free hour with them and go with the one you feel you can work with and you feel will work for you rather then just fanny around with your file every few weeks.

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 16/04/2023 16:14

cantgetabus · 16/04/2023 15:58

Seems unfair that he carries on in a very well paid job that I supported him to be able to do and I'm left on minimum wage

I guess that depends on why you have been doing low income jobs. If you don't have dc at home, have you been trying to build up your career again?

GetYourActTogether1 · 16/04/2023 16:32

Work your calculations out on you getting 50% of equity, 50% of savings and 50% of his pension. He will probably do all that he can to try and prevent you getting his pension. You may be eligible for short term
spousal support until you get back in your feet. The best thing you can do is hire a shit hot lawyer.

Livinghappy · 16/04/2023 16:40

@cantgetabus I'm sorry you are going through this and you must be feeling very concerned for the future however you will survive.

For some years now due to a court ruling in 2015 the focus has been on equal split of assets, which includes pension however the weaker financial party is supposed to make efforts to get an income to support themselves. It's why you will see MN recommending women to remain financially independent. There he is no longer a financial safeguard, should you agree to be SAHM and then subsequently divorce.

Do you have a rough guide to equity in the house? Do you know if his pension details? Any savings? If you can get information you could roughly understand what you might get, assuming 50% split. Hopefully you could be mortgage free on a smaller place.

AnuSTart · 16/04/2023 17:45

It's a terrible situation but sadly this is one a lot of women find themselves in when they haven't financially supported themselves and allowed careers to drift.
The chances of you getting spousal maintenance are very slim indeed. They will, and rightly so, be infer why you haven't been worked full-time etc.

I assume 50/50 of house, property and his pensions etc so that is good, but sounds like he will fight it every step of the way. Get a decent lawyer and start from there but please don't go into it expecting maintenance- that stopped when women were no longer expected to stay at home.

Original poster
cantgetabus · 16/04/2023 19:00

I haven't worked full time because I've been mentally unwell. However I am actually mentally better than when I was with the abusive husband so will now thankfully be in a position to look
for more hours. It still doesn't seem moral that I'll earn a low wage whilst I've facilitated him building a career.

OP posts:
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