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Original poster

This is what happens when you initiate a housework strike

77 replies

stbrandonsboat · 16/04/2023 15:05

Me and young adult ds vacated the bathroom several months ago due to dh getting toothpaste everywhere when he was brushing his teeth. We got sick of the endless cleaning up so have started using the, previously unused, en suite. I clean it every week and all is well.

I told dh he was now solely responsible for the bathroom and that I wasn't cleaning it anymore as I do everywhere else and I never use the bathroom.

This was months and months ago. Dh briefly cleaned up for his sister visiting, but nothing since. He does sort of clean the toilet from time to time. The bathroom now stinks like a herd of Nubian goats are living in there. It's a build up of dirt smell rather than anything else. I'm still refusing to clean it, but I can't keep the door open as it affects the rest of the house.

Do I?

a) Ignore it

b) Clean it myself

c) Sprinkle the contents of the ash pan all over the place so he has to clean it.

d) Start keeping goats and chickens in there to justify the smell.

Dh himself and his clothing are always clean, it's just the bathroom that's awful. He's just being lazy.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
HarrietStyles · 16/04/2023 15:50

Suggest to him that if he is not willing to clean it himself, then he needs to pay for a cleaner to come do it once a week for him. The grime build up will totally ruin the tiles and taps and mean he’ll have to replace the whole bathroom before long if it’s not regularly cleaned.

Original poster
stbrandonsboat · 16/04/2023 15:51

HarrietStyles · 16/04/2023 15:50

Suggest to him that if he is not willing to clean it himself, then he needs to pay for a cleaner to come do it once a week for him. The grime build up will totally ruin the tiles and taps and mean he’ll have to replace the whole bathroom before long if it’s not regularly cleaned.

Yes, this is a good idea tbh. I didn't think of the destructive build up as I always used to keep on top of everything.

OP posts:
mogtheexcellent · 16/04/2023 15:52

Isnt your young adult DS annoyed at having to use your ensuite? Perhaps he could kick up a stink as well. Im guessing/hoping you have a downstairs loo.

OhcantthInkofaname · 16/04/2023 16:06

A. Ignore it. Ask him how he thinks he is clean in a dirty bathroom.

Squamata · 16/04/2023 16:08

The whole situation is unreasonable. DH should clean up but I can't believe the smell is as bad as you say.

Are there other problems in your marriage? This seems like it might reflect other issues with consideration and communication?

Lovelyring · 16/04/2023 16:10

Personally I'd get a cleaner if I could ensure DH paid for it out of his own money.

Inviting sister over is cunning but short term solution.

pickledandpuzzled · 16/04/2023 16:11

HarrietStyles · 16/04/2023 15:50

Suggest to him that if he is not willing to clean it himself, then he needs to pay for a cleaner to come do it once a week for him. The grime build up will totally ruin the tiles and taps and mean he’ll have to replace the whole bathroom before long if it’s not regularly cleaned.

This.

Remind him how much a cleaner costs and even more importantly, how much a decorator and tiler cost.

Side question, is he long sighted? DH can spot a crumb on Theo other side of the Room, but muck within arm's length is invisible.

TomatoSandwiches · 16/04/2023 16:14

How can he be clean Washing himself in a room that filthy?
I wouldn't let him touch me.
Get him to pay for a cleaner, ugh.

Original poster
stbrandonsboat · 16/04/2023 16:17

mogtheexcellent · 16/04/2023 15:52

Isnt your young adult DS annoyed at having to use your ensuite? Perhaps he could kick up a stink as well. Im guessing/hoping you have a downstairs loo.

No, he's happy because he likes a shower and there's no shower in the bathroom, just the bath.

OP posts:
BHRK · 16/04/2023 16:19

I’d be furious actually and I’d give him an ultimatum. Get a cleaner, clean yourself or go and live elsewhere. It’s disgusting and it shows contempt for family life and shared chores

Original poster
stbrandonsboat · 16/04/2023 16:19

Squamata · 16/04/2023 16:08

The whole situation is unreasonable. DH should clean up but I can't believe the smell is as bad as you say.

Are there other problems in your marriage? This seems like it might reflect other issues with consideration and communication?

We get on well and there's no issues other than he's a bit workshy around the place. It takes him ages to get round to cutting the grass for instance and I end up doing it. He does do diy to a high standard and he's quite an agreeable person.

OP posts:
jannier · 16/04/2023 16:20

stbrandonsboat · 16/04/2023 15:17

At least the goats are cute

Maybe have a family WhatsApp group and ask everyone about the awful smell coming from the bathroom.

GoodChat · 16/04/2023 16:20

Does he clean anywhere else in the house?

Original poster
stbrandonsboat · 16/04/2023 16:22

pickledandpuzzled · 16/04/2023 16:11

This.

Remind him how much a cleaner costs and even more importantly, how much a decorator and tiler cost.

Side question, is he long sighted? DH can spot a crumb on Theo other side of the Room, but muck within arm's length is invisible.

Show quote history

He wears glasses and his eyesight is fine with them.

I've had it out with him on his return today and he acknowledges that it's not good in there. Ds has also offered to help clean it up as he uses the loo in there. Dh has a face like a smacked arse now 🙄

OP posts:
Sendouttheclowns · 16/04/2023 16:22

stbrandonsboat · 16/04/2023 15:17

At least the goats are cute

😂

smooththecat · 16/04/2023 16:22

There are some people who just spit toothpaste in the general direction of the sink and cover everything in spit. I’ve seen it on other people’s houses and my mum and her ex both used to do it. It’s absolutely gross. Wtf is wrong with people?

jannier · 16/04/2023 16:22

stbrandonsboat · 16/04/2023 16:19

We get on well and there's no issues other than he's a bit workshy around the place. It takes him ages to get round to cutting the grass for instance and I end up doing it. He does do diy to a high standard and he's quite an agreeable person.

Show quote history

So basically he's a lazy git about every day jobs so you give in and do them but for some reason the bathroom was too much.....what about his washing would he wear that dirty too? Does he cook,?

Lockheart · 16/04/2023 16:32

stbrandonsboat · 16/04/2023 15:27

Look at it! My poor bathroom that I decorated and made nice just the year before last 😢

So there's limescale on the bath grouting, dust behind the taps, and a bit of mildew on the sink grouting?

The way you described it I was expecting actual dirt, not just a bit neglected. What you've posted shouldn't be causing a smell.

As long as he's not making a mess in your bathroom I'd just ignore it.

Whichnumbers · 16/04/2023 16:43

you regularly make remarks about the Sten h coming from his bathroom, daily would be good and wrinkled nose added in for good measure

TheBayTreeMurder · 16/04/2023 16:49

I couldn't ignore a room in my home in this way so yes, I would have cleaned it a long time ago. And I'd continue to clean it because I like my whole house to be nice

At the same time as my new cleaning regime, I'd be booting him out

Leftbutcameback · 16/04/2023 16:50

My OH is lazy too (with housework). I insisted we get a cleaner. It’s not perfect but much better. If you can afford it, it’s the most realistic solution (I can’t see your DH or my OH changing)

Leftbutcameback · 16/04/2023 16:51

I think the smell will be from the bathmat and hand towel presumably. They smell grim pretty quickly.

mathanxiety · 16/04/2023 16:54

How come DH's clothing is always clean?

mathanxiety · 16/04/2023 16:57

And fwiw, he's never going to cut the grass when he knows you're going to do it eventually

He's showing a terrible example of bad behaviour to his son.

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