Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Easter hols have destroyed me

143 replies

YukoandHiro · 16/04/2023 10:50

I'm an absolute husk. And there's an inset day tomorrow too!

I can't believe how hard I work only for my holidays to be much much harder work. For reference I have a 2yo and a 5yo and work 4 days a week. I am so much less exhausted when completely flat out working!

Tell me the teen years are a little easier on this point? I feel like a shell of myself

OP posts:
Original poster
YukoandHiro · 16/04/2023 11:02

Is anyone else also coming unravelled with it all? I feel quite alone at the moment, like everyone else is just more competent at parenting...

OP posts:
LetsPlayShadowlands · 16/04/2023 11:06

I have a 7yo and it's easier even now. I know what you mean though. I hate work, and should appreciate the holidays but sometimes it's just harder! You're not incompetent at parenting. It's just a bloody exhausting, 24/7 job😄 I'd love to spend a day alone/sleeping!

LetsPlayShadowlands · 16/04/2023 11:06

Also hate it when they tag an inset day on to a holiday!

beachruns · 16/04/2023 11:06

Oh yea! I have 2 teens and we've had a lovely few weeks.

Honestly just having a combination of chilled days and theme park trips have been a blast. No worrying about childcare or meals etc. what a difference.

I spent the day with them yesterday and was chatting about what a shit stressed mum I was when they were younger. I had depression etc (not that they remember) and now they understand budget limitations (packed lunches & diesel) and how we can all have a great day.

One is in bed now and I've walked the dogs and done the housework. Now sitting down with a coffee.

In my experience I'm so much happier and less stressed. People say how precious babies are but I'm a better mum to teenagers now I have a clean house and enjoy their hobbies too.

roarfeckingroarr · 16/04/2023 11:08

LetsPlayShadowlands · 16/04/2023 11:06

Also hate it when they tag an inset day on to a holiday!

I know. Why can't they use one of the holiday days for training?! It's not like they're short of them,

Slimjimtobe · 16/04/2023 11:08

That’s a really hard age. It won’t last forever and before you know it you will have an hour or two to yourself while they are home

i would say book a day off but put children into their childcare and do something nice for yourself and then go to bed for the afternoon

Holly03 · 16/04/2023 11:09

Honestly getting to the point I’m dreading the holidays. One ds asd adhd a10 and toddler dd im done in. I’ve had no sleep as ds does not sleep and is up all night, dd gets up at 4am. Oh and I chose now to quit smoking. Honestly can see me getting some fags at the shops soon as im really struggling with stress

Crunchymum · 16/04/2023 11:10

2 and 5 are hard ages. My youngest is 5 so we're just coming out the other end.

I was only going to take off one week, I took both (will make a note not to repeat that next year!!) and I'm very glad they are all back to school on Tuesday. Indeed working is much easier.

Don't be too hard on yourself. You won't see the difficult and challenging moments on FB / Instagram and very few parents - even close friends - will admit how bloody difficult parenting can be. Parenting in the holidays is another level.

We have had a day on / day off thing this Easter. So every other day we've done something (we are in London so it's been quite easy) and on the other days we've done walks / scoots / bike rides or local parks. My main issue is the oldest and youngest have very different interests. My 5yo didn't enjoy the NHM whereas the 10yo did.

I am just glad we've all come out the other end rested and on speaking terms 😂

tallcypowder · 16/04/2023 11:11

It's a different level of stress with teens. Mine has broken up with her boyfriend and she has severe mental health issues so its been a tough week emotionally.

I have had time to myself but I end up just sat there worrying and wondering what the next issue will be.
I don't know which stage is worse.

They all have their own stresses. When your child is sad though it destroys you.

Pinkywoo · 16/04/2023 11:11

Me too, I have a 1 year old who has just learnt to walk and a 3 year old who has suspected ASD, and DH has worked 7 days a week for the last month. I have no childcare and on Friday one of the wheels on the pushchair blew so we're trapped in the house until the replacement turns up. Bring on Tuesday!

VyeBrator · 16/04/2023 11:12

I've always found going out to work easier than being at home for long periods of time with small children.

This is why I often roll my eyes when MNetters say they take on the brunt of childcare, housework and admin because "Dh works very long hours".

Yeah, so he gets to avoid all that and gets special treatment when he's home because 'very long hours'.

bluebird3 · 16/04/2023 11:13

I completely understand. I have a 1yo and 4 year old. I only work 3 days per week. When my husband is working weekends it goes from 3 days working to 4 days full time mum and back to work again. No breaks, no down time. It's exhausting.

Crunchymum · 16/04/2023 11:14

roarfeckingroarr · 16/04/2023 11:08

I know. Why can't they use one of the holiday days for training?! It's not like they're short of them,

Show quote history

Your local LA sets inset days. Teachers only work a certain amount of days per academic year. That's why schools had to add an extra inset day for the Queen's BH last year which fell in half term.... otherwise teachers would has gone over the number of days they are meant to work.

Also lots of teachers have children, why should they lose a days holiday? 🤔

Sailingaround · 16/04/2023 11:15

roarfeckingroarr · 16/04/2023 11:08

I know. Why can't they use one of the holiday days for training?! It's not like they're short of them,

Show quote history

I assume this is a joke and you’re not suggesting teachers use their holidays for training 😅 but sadly some people probably seriously hold this view.

OP, if you’re tired sounds like the children had a great Easter break at least :)

Crunchymum · 16/04/2023 11:15

VyeBrator · 16/04/2023 11:12

I've always found going out to work easier than being at home for long periods of time with small children.

This is why I often roll my eyes when MNetters say they take on the brunt of childcare, housework and admin because "Dh works very long hours".

Yeah, so he gets to avoid all that and gets special treatment when he's home because 'very long hours'.

Amen to that.

If all I had to do was work then life would be a fucking breeze.

Sailingaround · 16/04/2023 11:17

Crunchymum · 16/04/2023 11:14

Your local LA sets inset days. Teachers only work a certain amount of days per academic year. That's why schools had to add an extra inset day for the Queen's BH last year which fell in half term.... otherwise teachers would has gone over the number of days they are meant to work.

Also lots of teachers have children, why should they lose a days holiday? 🤔

Show quote history

Whether they have children/ caring responsibilities or not is even irrelevant. No one should be expected to do training on their holiday, but I think that poster was joking tbf.

MsCunk · 16/04/2023 11:17

It is easier in many ways as they get older. I wish people were more honest with each other about the challenges of parenting.

Timeturnerplease · 16/04/2023 11:23

Similar age gap here - 4 and almost 2. I’ve gone from full time teaching a tricky class of 8 year olds to wrangling my two adorable but hard work DDs. DH is self employed so rarely can afford time off. Am frazzled but enjoyed putting my efforts into my own children for once.

They do both have one day a week at nursery that continues over the holidays, but I had to use those to start writing school reports, so I haven’t had a rest.

From talking to friends it seems that life gets easier when both are school age, if you need something to look forward to!

Crunchymum · 16/04/2023 11:28

Sailingaround · 16/04/2023 11:17

Whether they have children/ caring responsibilities or not is even irrelevant. No one should be expected to do training on their holiday, but I think that poster was joking tbf.

Show quote history

I hope they were joking but given how teachers are viewed on MN, I am not sure they were.

Of course no-one should be expected to work in their holidays. I thought thay went without saying.

PaigeMatthews · 16/04/2023 11:29

roarfeckingroarr · 16/04/2023 11:08

I know. Why can't they use one of the holiday days for training?! It's not like they're short of them,

Show quote history

@roarfeckingroarr the inset days ARE holiday days. The five INSET days were taken out of the holidays.

but dont let facts get in the way of your attitude.

RicherThanYews · 16/04/2023 11:29

By the time they're closer to 7 I swear it gets easier. Mine is is 10 now, the others are much older but it does help.

KittyAlfred · 16/04/2023 11:30

Mine are teens and I spend most of the holidays driving them and their friends around at all different times of day and night. But at least I can have a lie-in.

Original poster
YukoandHiro · 16/04/2023 11:45

I'm really glad it's not just me... and also to hear that some people are finding the teen years more fun. Obviously they do bring me joy but there's so much slog and the exhaustion is phenomenal. I find I can barely concentrate on the tv by the end of the day as I'm so physically and emotionally spent

OP posts:
Original poster
YukoandHiro · 16/04/2023 11:47

Thanks @MsCunk - yes, I'm always very honest with others. It seems to me everyone else is less so.

OP posts:
DueyCheatemAndHow · 16/04/2023 11:47

The weather hasn't helped, constant bloody rain. You aren't alone OP. I think you've replied on my threads where I have said I honestly feel so horribly trapped sometimes.