Realities that don't exist in TV land

[QueSyrahSyrah]

Inspired by the ongoing curtains thread, what realities of the world do you consistently see ignored in TV and Film?

I'll start; Car Insurance. We've been watching a show recently where the characters are forever borrowing or swapping cars with family and friends. Vanishingly unlikely that everyone has open all-driver insurance (unless that's a more common thing in America maybe?).

People having an affair and not showering after sex, going home, getting into bed with their partner 😬🤮😬

Child care - absence thereof.

Police arrive quickly, ambulances arrive quickly.

When people on telly make cups of tea, they never leave the bag in for long enough but the tea always comes out the right shade. I smell a rat.

Nobody ever needs the toilet

I do not know a single person in real life who goes to their local pub every evening. Never see anyone arguing with their kids to get them all out to school on time. Never see anyone do a grocery shop… where do they get their food?!

2 day early period
Running out of milk
Kids having caused a scene akin to a hoarding house and unexpected visitors turning up - all houses are always perfectly clean and tidy
Underwear in bed, despite some heavy sex sesh beforehand. Can't be that good if you kept your bra on....
No morning wood in sight, even if the guy wakes up then immediately leaps out of bed

A scene in Bridgerton made me wonder how oral went in days of yore. Did people just not do it? Did you wait for bath day and then go hell for leather? There surely must be some serious minge condensation going on under all those layers?

Women have babies in seconds and there's never a placenta.

Meals. No one ever eats in films, they take one tiny bite then leave the rest.

The hug- always a hug whilst the camera pans to one persons face looking concerned like they’re hugging a serial killer

Hangovers. Characters in films drink so much they pass out then get up an hour later with barely a headache then proceed to fight ninjas like a karate expert whose had 8 hours rest and months of training

Driving-they drive whilst talking to the passenger and barely ever look at the road for more than a millisecond

Female characters go to sleep and wake up with perfect makeup on

If there's a doctor living in the area he's always conveniently available at home if someone has an emergency, he's in the doctors surgery if someone has a doctors appointment, working at the hospital if someone is taken to hospital and working on labour ward if someone has a baby.

In coronation street everyone works within ten steps of their front door, they say they're short of money yet can afford to eat breakfast in the cafe, and lunch or dinner in the pub or restaurants every day. They manage to sit in the pub every night even if they've got children, and there's no sign of anyone having a car until someone needs to go somewhere when they'll suddenly produce a car from somewhere. In reality everyone would be parked in front of their house and like most terraced streets it would be double parked all the way down.

Not saying goodbye on the phone, they just hang up / close the flip phone. Rude.

I assume not. Not convinced the Tardis does either.

They never pay for drinks at the bar.

In the US, bars are often more like cafes/restaurants where you get a bill at the end.

Lawyers sitting in the café or pub or any public space having a meeting with their client! So much for confidentiality!!
I can't imagine a lawyer in real life would ever meet in a public place to discuss their clients issues.

If someone is a nurse, they work in every single department of the hospital, and always seem to be on shift in the very department their neighbour is admitted to.

Jobs are very well-paid in TV land.

The house in Outnumbered, for example. Fucking massive, in a very nice part of London. Dad’s a teacher, mum works part-time.

Two people want a private conversation and tell the dozens of other people around to "clear the room". No! You two can find somewhere private and let everyone else get on with their work.

They always know some geeky teenager (usually with tats and glasses) just out of school who is so brilliant they can hack into any secure government database with just 30 seconds of frantic typing on any old laptop and they NEVER get caught or traced. Geeky teenager strangely never has a well paid job though despite their genius level computer skills.

The inside of houses never match up to the outside shots. So you see a house with a basement and inside no one ever goes there and no sign of any stairs. Or a double fronted house from the outside and the inside has a living room at the front with a kitchen diner along the back. It's like no one thinks what happened to the extra room. And houses grow miraculously so that umpteen people can stay over, all with their own room. Bit off topic but that drives me crazy.

I questioned that before. It’s a huge house, see also Motherland.

All grandparents, who you can go and stay with/ can have the children at the drop of a hat all live in either lovely big houses in the country or big detached houses in towns.

(In fairness my folks live in a big stone farmhouse in the country. DH said he didn’t think people genuinely lived in houses like that until he went there.).

Post apocalyptic body hair maintenance. What? How?

I know Emily in Paris is bobbins for many reasons, but in series 3 why does she have such a hard time with stairs up to the office when she lives on the fifth floor of a building with no lift? Doing everything in heels in a city with so many cobblestones is also completely potty. Nobody ever turns their ankle!

Or they have a huge house but the husband is stuck on the sofa after a row.

It’s been said many times but all flats in Paris have a view of the Eiffel Tower and all flats in London have a view of tower bridge. All Paris flats are beautifully disheveled chic.

Doctors staring at an upside down X-Ray and nobody actually turns the drip on. Patients don’t shit themselves, eat or ask for a bed pan. No student nurses looking blank or shouty relatives.

I’m not allowed to watch any medical drama with hubby or the kids. 🤐

I always thought this about the TV show The OC. Their house is huge and yet the teenager they adopt lives in the pool house. Then when a relative stays over and needs the pool house Ryan has to bunk in with Seth. Are you telling me their house is a two bed?

TBF a geeky teenager hacked MN 😊. Not quite government security level and he did get caught. After previously hacking his school but still...

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-surrey-36954673

As mentioned before when they are driving looking at the passenger for too long, when they should be looking at the road.

Always finding a parking spot, and then never locking their car. They never seem to need their keys when going into their house and when leaving. Leaving the front door open behind them when they go into their house or apartment.

Usually a lone woman, but she doesn’t turn any of the lights on, and walks in the dark. Again always a women, goes straight to her shower or bedroom and takes off all her clothes, but this time she turns the light on, but never closes the bloody curtains. They don’t even close them when it’s just a romantic or sexy love scene.
Very few people actually eat any food when they are eating with another person, there’s lots of cutlery lifting a waving but no actual food going in the gob.

Fake babies. Empty suitcase, boxes, coffins and weightless dead bodies. Always a stack of empty boxes to fall into. The baddies are incapacitated by a slap and the goodie can fight on with broken bones, stab wounds. That moment when the hero is surrounded by say six henchmen and he kills/disarms them all. What were the other five/four/three etc doing when he was dealing with the first? Just watching I guess?

There are just so many, but the not locking, not turning on lights and not closing the curtains really make me actually twitchy.