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Original poster

Who has to sit in the middle seat?

72 replies

RenegadeKeeblerElf · 15/04/2023 10:19

Help me out with a frequent dilemma in my house (car!).

Honda Jazz, 3 adults and 2 large teens. Who should have the middle seat in the back?

Person A - 41 years, 5'2, size 16. Aunt to persons B and C

Person B - 15 years, 5'3, slim with long legs, approx size 8

Person C - 12 years, 5'4, more of a medium build, approx size 10-12

When the children were in car seats it was easy, aunt squeezed in the middle. When they were out of car seats but still small it was obviously the youngest child. But now it's more tricky - should it be the youngest (person C), the skinniest (person B), or the shortest (person A)?

Disclaimer - this is a fairly academic discussion as person C accepts her fate as the youngest and just naturally takes the middle seat. I'm still interested in what is fair though, and whether that would change as the 'children' move in to adulthood. If it matters, person A has her own car but often chooses to travel with the other family when they are all going somewhere together.

OP posts:
Eggseggseverywhere · 15/04/2023 10:20

Person A as the squatter needs to suck it up!!

PussBilledDuckyPlait · 15/04/2023 10:21

My experience of ageing is that my joints get stiffer and more inclined to ache as time goes on, so squeezing into a middle seat is more uncomfortable for me now than it was when I was a teenager, so I would give it to the oldest person.

UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername · 15/04/2023 10:22

Yeah, the aunt should, really. But if C isn't fighting it, I wouldn't say anything. Or rather, I'd discretely thank them for their patience and helpfulness.

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Singleandproud · 15/04/2023 10:22

I think now is the time for Person A to start taking their own car with maybe one of the teens going with her for company if they are happy to.

PuttingDownRoots · 15/04/2023 10:22

As the children grow bigger there may not be room for Person A! I'm surprised they fitted with carseats which take up more room.

CindersAgain · 15/04/2023 10:23

B and C take it in turns.

MaknCheeese · 15/04/2023 10:23

I would usually go with the smallest in the middle but if person A has their own means of transport and is choosing a lift rather than driving then they should suck it up and take the less comfortable seat rather than inconvenience the others.

Luredbyapomegranate · 15/04/2023 10:23

I think the younger generation take the middle unless they are a rugby player like build that makes it impossible.

It’s the same as giving up a seat on the train to the oldies.

mondaytosunday · 15/04/2023 10:24

C obviously. I don't care what size the adult is they do not have to sit in the middle. And unless one of the kids grows to be very tall they always sit in the back.

StrugglingWeight · 15/04/2023 10:26

Persons B and C alternate in the middle

I don't think the aunt should take the middle if there are children, even teens.

Pinkywoo · 15/04/2023 10:31

What about person D, the adult in the front passenger seat? If we were giving someone a lift and DH was driving, I would sit in the back with the kids and let the visitor sit in the front.

ShagratandGorbag4ever · 15/04/2023 10:40

Person A should take her own car or shed some weight.

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 15/04/2023 10:42

I'd say person c and they are youn and flexible But not as long legs as the other child.

The aunt..nah

TheMarsian · 15/04/2023 10:44

weve had that dilemma and have tried various combinations in the past.

Tbh I don’t think it’s making a big difference.The space available at the back is still the same.
The only thing we are more careful about is for the users on with the longest kegs to go behind the front seat that is moved further forward - the passenger for us. But then dc1 is over 6 foot so really needs the space….
The size if the passenger in the middle doesn’t matter.

ODFOx · 15/04/2023 10:45

The person with the narrowest hips will be most comfortable/least uncomfortable on the middle hump cushion.
So the size 8 child: unless the person in the passenger seat is a slim male, in which case he should take the middle between the teens.

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 15/04/2023 10:45

If it matters, person A has her own car but often chooses to travel with the other family when they are all going somewhere together.

Actually yeh. Get them in the middle. They could drive but choose to take up a regular seat in the back of a car meaning C has to sit in the middle. If c doesn't mind it's not an issue but if they do, get A to go in the middle and if they don't like it...they can drive themselves!

MrsSkylerWhite · 15/04/2023 10:46

Person C. There’s usually less leg room in the middle and they’re smallest.

Original poster
RenegadeKeeblerElf · 15/04/2023 10:50

Interesting mix of responses! It shows there isn't really a right answer. Person C doesn't complain but I am conscious that she tends to be a bit 'put upon' by her big sister and is not as assertive as she could be so wouldn't stand up for herself if she was unhappy about it.

In response to some questions, person D is usually DH as I am the driver, he is 5'10 with long legs and a dodgy knee and back so wouldn't really fit in the back. If the 5th person is anyone else it would either be a 70-something grandparent or an unrelated adult so I think they still get the front passenger seat. And yes, it was a squeeze with the car seats but the Jazz is a bit roomier than it looks!

OP posts:
Original poster
RenegadeKeeblerElf · 15/04/2023 10:51

See that's the thing - person C is the youngest but is taller and wider than her big sister.

OP posts:
Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 15/04/2023 10:52

But the bigger sister is longer and usually less leg room in the middle back?

Original poster
RenegadeKeeblerElf · 15/04/2023 10:54

ODFOx · 15/04/2023 10:45

The person with the narrowest hips will be most comfortable/least uncomfortable on the middle hump cushion.
So the size 8 child: unless the person in the passenger seat is a slim male, in which case he should take the middle between the teens.

Luckily the back seat of a Jazz is fairly flat without that middle hump you get in a lot of cars so less of an issue. But yes, I do think that person A should be in the middle but they are the most assertive/likely to complain of the 3 (and have sensory issues which makes it difficult to know if they are being selfish or genuinely find it hard to be in the middle!)

OP posts:
gogohmm · 15/04/2023 10:54

I'd say youngest as the height difference isn't great and both are slim

Original poster
RenegadeKeeblerElf · 15/04/2023 10:55

Hmm, legs are proportionally longer but given the extra height of person C I think the absolute length is similar. Or if not yet, they will be as C is still growing and B has stopped.

OP posts:
NowZeusHasLainWithLeda · 15/04/2023 10:56

In families which don't put children's needs above adults, the children go in the back, all other things being equal.
You've said A also has sensory issues, so aside from being an adult, also gets precedence.

Flatandhappy · 15/04/2023 10:58

B and C should definitely take turns in the same way as you would expect them to take turns if the front passenger seat is free. It is really unfair to give the older kid priority every time. We have just had a similar kind of thing with flights, young adult DD, brother is five years older and much bigger/taller but offered to take the middle seat on the return flight as he knew it was unfair otherwise (and I have a medical reason for needing the aisle).

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