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Original poster

Who has to sit in the middle seat?

72 replies

RenegadeKeeblerElf · 15/04/2023 10:19

Help me out with a frequent dilemma in my house (car!).

Honda Jazz, 3 adults and 2 large teens. Who should have the middle seat in the back?

Person A - 41 years, 5'2, size 16. Aunt to persons B and C

Person B - 15 years, 5'3, slim with long legs, approx size 8

Person C - 12 years, 5'4, more of a medium build, approx size 10-12

When the children were in car seats it was easy, aunt squeezed in the middle. When they were out of car seats but still small it was obviously the youngest child. But now it's more tricky - should it be the youngest (person C), the skinniest (person B), or the shortest (person A)?

Disclaimer - this is a fairly academic discussion as person C accepts her fate as the youngest and just naturally takes the middle seat. I'm still interested in what is fair though, and whether that would change as the 'children' move in to adulthood. If it matters, person A has her own car but often chooses to travel with the other family when they are all going somewhere together.

OP posts:
GeorgiaGirl52 · 15/04/2023 11:00

Person A should take her own car and let Child B drive with her. A can teach B to drive and then on long trips they can share the driving.

Original poster
RenegadeKeeblerElf · 15/04/2023 11:00

NowZeusHasLainWithLeda · 15/04/2023 10:56

In families which don't put children's needs above adults, the children go in the back, all other things being equal.
You've said A also has sensory issues, so aside from being an adult, also gets precedence.

Oops, meant B when I was talking about sensory issues etc

OP posts:
WaltzingWaters · 15/04/2023 11:01

Rotate. Take turns.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
Rainbowshit · 15/04/2023 11:01

B and C take turns. They're slimmer, younger and likely more flexible.

Chewbecca · 15/04/2023 11:03

For me it is absolutely one of the children, not the adult aunt.

But I guess that is because I am a little older.

SorePaw · 15/04/2023 11:05

StrugglingWeight · 15/04/2023 10:26

Persons B and C alternate in the middle

I don't think the aunt should take the middle if there are children, even teens.

@StrugglingWeight

why?

Amazing how much things have changed. I'm guessing most of these posters would say the Aunt should sit on the floor whilst the children sit on the sofa.

basic manners - one of the children sits in the middle. Until C complains it's always her, then leave it, when she starts to be bothered by it, then the youngsters take turns

utterly ridiculous of people to suggest taking two cars just so the teens don't have to sit in the middle.

I'm the eldest of us 'kids' but being short & years ago narrowest, I always took the middle seat. I still would, but tending towards a telly tubby shape, it's not always the most practical solution any more. 🥴

MargotBamborough · 15/04/2023 11:06

A, B and C should all take it in turns.

BotCrossedHun · 15/04/2023 11:07

children should, could take turns if C really minds.

Car sharing is generally a good thing, though I hope the aunt helps out in other ways and/or pays petrol or parking. But i'd certainly think she'd be treated as a guest.

Much harder for someone grown with hips to fit in a middle seat, and much less comfortable. And the older they are, the harder it is to get in the car and the stiffer they might be after a journey.

It sounds like you don't like her all that much, and if you'd prefer her not coming with you, then yes make her sit in the middle until she decides to make her own way or not come. But otherwise, I think children should be encouraged to be kind to her.

Then again, I'm a single person without a family and rarely get to go on any outings, so I'd be keen to go at all and I guess I'd put up with middle seat just to be able to go. Not comfortable, though, and a family has a lot of other advantages ,so I think it would be nice for children to give up their seats in this situation

PrincessHoneysuckle · 15/04/2023 11:10

Get a bigger car than a jazz? 😬 if you're regularly fitting a lot of people in you're car then could you part ex yours for a more suitable one? Budget permitting

PrincessHoneysuckle · 15/04/2023 11:10

your

CaptainMyCaptain · 15/04/2023 11:11

I am person C in this scenario as I am the same size although as I am in my late 60s I am usually the oldest person. In a taxi full of adults I am usually the smallest so I go in the middle which is often a pain because the middle seat belt is usually tucked in somewhere and I can't find it. In a car with my grandchildren I tend to be the driver so it isn't a problem.

SorePaw · 15/04/2023 11:12

@StrugglingWeight apologies! I totally misread your comment. I'll go & make more coffee 💐

MrsDeaconClaybourne · 15/04/2023 11:12

I don't think there should be a strict adults v children rule. I'm 47 but short legs 5'3 size 12 and usually volunteer for the middle in these situations. Don't think of myself as 'old' and needing special treatment.

GetYourActTogether1 · 15/04/2023 11:13

The aunt.

aSofaNearYou · 15/04/2023 11:24

The kids should, but swap around rather than it always being one.

horridjobescapee · 15/04/2023 11:27

Kids take turns.

Whiskers4 · 15/04/2023 11:27

With or without three in the back, I'd put the person with the longest legs behind the front seat that's furthest forward.

Unless Person A (Aunt) lives with the family (rather than an occasional guest that needs a lift), I'd say she'd have to suck it up and sit wherever there's a space - if it's her that's not happy, then she should make her own arrangements to get wherever.

EyesOnThePies · 15/04/2023 11:31

I wouldn’t have truck with any status stuff. Everyone except the driver and / or owner if the car is a guest passenger, and need to be acting like family, offering each other to sit in the ‘good’ seats, being considerate of each other’s needs and taking it in turns without point scoring or entitlement.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 15/04/2023 11:35

Well you can’t really say ‘DD2, as you’re now taller and fatter than your older sister you don’t have to go in the middle any more’ without potentially causing all manner of body confidence issues so I think making the decision by age and having the youngest in the middle is probably the easiest and most sensible, especially if she is generally easy going about it.

If there comes a point where DD2 starts to find being in the middle an issue then rather than having an arbitrary rule based on size or age which means the same person ends up there every time then the fairest thing to do is probably to draw straws/ take turns so that one person goes on the way and another on the way back.

Thelastofbus · 15/04/2023 11:36

In my family they’d take aim to it in turns, but the kids would argue about it every time! And the aunt would probably just sit in the middle for an easy life. Adults should take priority imo, but 41 isn’t old and creaky so they are fine in the middle really.

napody · 15/04/2023 11:38

Eggseggseverywhere · 15/04/2023 10:20

Person A as the squatter needs to suck it up!!

Nooooo.... person B as presumably the smallest arse!

MrsAvocet · 15/04/2023 11:39

For short journeys I would probably say C, but on a long journey I would insist that B and C rotate and strongly encourage A to take a share too, but not push for A to be in the middle all the time.
The issue with A in the middle is that the middle seat is normally narrower so the widest person, as well as being uncomfortable themselves, can encroach on both other passengers' space, making it less comfortable for them all.

Holliejollie22 · 15/04/2023 11:41

Finding the ‘she should take her own car’ comments a bit depressing. Surely car sharing a good thing, why are people so keen to put one more car on the road?

It doesn’t even sound like anyone is complaining about being in the middle!

I would make them all take turns, one in the middle on the way and one on the way back, start again with the person who didn’t go in the middle for the next journey. Unless the aunt is elderly with mobility issues of course in which case she’d always have a window seat.

napody · 15/04/2023 11:42

MolkosTeenageAngst · 15/04/2023 11:35

Well you can’t really say ‘DD2, as you’re now taller and fatter than your older sister you don’t have to go in the middle any more’ without potentially causing all manner of body confidence issues so I think making the decision by age and having the youngest in the middle is probably the easiest and most sensible, especially if she is generally easy going about it.

If there comes a point where DD2 starts to find being in the middle an issue then rather than having an arbitrary rule based on size or age which means the same person ends up there every time then the fairest thing to do is probably to draw straws/ take turns so that one person goes on the way and another on the way back.

Strictly it should be smallest arse.... however, this.

PregnantQuestions · 15/04/2023 11:42

Why can’t person A drive her own car? She’s not a skinny woman and the teens would have more room without her there. I’m the eldest of three children and I always sat in the middle seat because I have always been the skinniest and shortest (and the car seat needed to be at the end). I’m still put in the middle seat when I’m in a car with four other people.