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Original poster

Save for DC future or spend now?

73 replies

Sleepdeprived42long · 08/04/2023 06:52

If you had to choose, would you save for DC future or spend just now on experiences which could enhance their life (eg holidays, activities etc)?

Would the future amount change your answer eg £2k, £20k, £200k?

Just a debate DH and I are currently having so would be interested in hearing other people’s thoughts!

OP posts:
Jojobalone · 08/04/2023 06:55

I do both.

But neither to an extreme level.

Single parent with two children. I save £150 month per child.
and then say the odd theatre trip, theme park, night away through the year. Plus two abroad holidays (one long weekend and one resort)

Jojobalone · 08/04/2023 06:56

Oh and my ex husband also save £150 per child per month.

isthewashingdryyet · 08/04/2023 06:58

I will add my usual warning here, of having an 18 year old able to access a large sum of money on their 18 th birthday can mean the money is spent on stuff vital to an 18 year old, and not what you thought it would be spent on.
keep it in your name, and give it to them when they need the important things.

Merrow · 08/04/2023 07:00

We do both, but not in large amounts. Save £100 per child per month, old DS has swimming lessons, one holiday a year (Majorca last year, Centre Parcs this year, both cost under £1000).

We'd like to take them to Disney in Florida when they're older, and that's probably the point we'll have to really think whether it's a good use of money as the cost is astronomical!

Eileen101 · 08/04/2023 07:00

I do both. £70 per month to their savings.

Mine are 2 and 5 so have no concept of money and are quite happy with a trip to the beach to enhance their life! But we spend on experiences by booking camp sites so they can go to the beach, rock pools, new places like EH/NTs etc.

They don't really have 'wants' like consoles, fancy trainers etc at this point so that helps enormously.

Eggseggseverywhere · 08/04/2023 07:02

My friend scrimped as a lone dm. At 18 she gave her ds the savings account..
In 10 months with nothing to show for it he spent 6k.

Original poster
Sleepdeprived42long · 08/04/2023 07:03

@Jojobalone £150 per month per child is £32k each by the time they are 18. What if you couldn’t afford to do both that and the experiences-holidays etc-which would you choose?

OP posts:
Merrow · 08/04/2023 07:04

And to echo @isthewashingdryyet, they each have a saving account that their grandparents contribute to at birthdays and Christmas, and they'll get that at 18 (I expect it will be quite a good sum!) But the money we save for them is in their own name. And I did check with the grandparents what their preference was.

Original poster
Sleepdeprived42long · 08/04/2023 07:05

@isthewashingdryyet that is great advice!

OP posts:
Merrow · 08/04/2023 07:06

In our own names I should say!

Jojobalone · 08/04/2023 07:09

Sleepdeprived42long · 08/04/2023 07:03

@Jojobalone £150 per month per child is £32k each by the time they are 18. What if you couldn’t afford to do both that and the experiences-holidays etc-which would you choose?

It will likely be more actually when you consider interest.

I wouldn’t ever do one without the other. Both would just lessen. Even if just £10 a month saving per child and a trip to the cinema every other month. It would never be one without the other unless I was on the bones of my arse

Letsrunabath · 08/04/2023 07:09

Experiences with them when they are growing up, safaris, skiing, great destination holidays, hobbies and time together. Once they go off to Uni they have a broad outlook on life and want these things for themselves so work hard to get good jobs. Most kids I know who are given lump sums buy cars, expensive insurance and sadly crash cars.

thatsn0tmyname · 08/04/2023 07:09

Both. We enjoy treats and days out but we overpay the mortgage rather than save for them. If we're mortgage -free when they reach 18-20, we can give them a generous monthly allowance but not a massive lump sum which they could blow.

Singapore4 · 08/04/2023 07:10

Love this thread OP. I'm a single parent so I only mange to save £150 for DS only child.

We go on holidays abroad 1 to 2 times a year. We can afford to do trips like cinema, swimming, get on a train some where on top of this too.

I've just notice I am waiting on payday some months.

So I would say if you are saying £200 for example without no holiday or activities. No it's not worth it life is for living, creating memories and we could be GONE TOMORROW.

MugOfSoup · 08/04/2023 07:12

Just set up a generic savings account in your name and controlled by you. Dip into it for holidays, days out whatever and leave some in for later. You then get to decide how it is spent on your children when they are older. Too many 18 year olds get given large sums who then blow it, yes of course there are those that save but it can be too much of a temptation.

Our eldest child is at uni, he gets the minimum maintenance loan of £4.5k due to the household income being over £62k, his rent alone is over £6k (completely normal rent amount) so he needs topping up and obviously food. The government expects us to top him up to £9.5k per year. That is £5k for each year he is at uni. We saved £40k to cover both children going to uni. This does not include tuition fees, that is a totally separate thing.

We chose to spend on holidays/experiences too because we wanted some great memories to look back on, to see the wonder and awe on their faces and record that. We saw the Dinosaur World tour when it came to the UK, blew our minds never mind the children. Plus just weekend fun, not necessarily anything amazing, just running around in a park, scooting or bike riding etc to get out of the house.

The biggest hurdle to our children will be getting on the property ladder. Ds1's savings from Grandparents/relatives birthday money etc has gone into a LISA.

twigy100 · 08/04/2023 07:13

Personally for me i would say to spend on experiences, I lost both parents at 24 and I wish we had done more things together creating memories than the money they gave me.

MugOfSoup · 08/04/2023 07:16

@Singapore4 life is for living, creating memories and we could be GONE TOMORROW

Absolutely, we did the Disney World once in a lifetime trip, the following year my friend had a chest infection but dropped dead within 24 hours from sepsis. She wasn't even 40. It was shocking and overwhelmingly sad. Dh said fuck it and we booked to go back to Disney.

I agree with things like swimming, getting on a train, visiting beaches when it isn't hot and sunny to see the expanse of the ocean, being out in nature, eating picnics, visiting museums, it doesn't have to be big spending, just spending time with your children creates amazing memories. But buying fish and chips on the sea front costs money as does the petrol or train fare to get there. Dribs and drabs.

Singapore4 · 08/04/2023 07:18

isthewashingdryyet · 08/04/2023 06:58

I will add my usual warning here, of having an 18 year old able to access a large sum of money on their 18 th birthday can mean the money is spent on stuff vital to an 18 year old, and not what you thought it would be spent on.
keep it in your name, and give it to them when they need the important things.

You don't have to tell your child about the account at 18 necessarily. I wouldn't of blown money at 16 never mind 18 but of course people are all different.

Stripycatz · 08/04/2023 07:21

We spent on experiences, though nothing really flash. Also saved £10-20 a month which was enough for them to buy a car.

duvetdissident · 08/04/2023 07:22

I think you need savings first, then spending on a nice time now.

If I had 2k, I would definitely save it - what if the boiler breaks down and needs replacing, what if the your child breaks a leg badly and you have to take 2 months off work to care for them at home?

If I had say 4-5k in savings, and it was slowly growing, then I would be splashing out, fun trips, extra curricular activities etc.

Of course I am so wise now my children are grown, at the time, all spare money went on having a nice life, and the boiler went on the credit card... of course I ended up paying more than double for it over the years, but I don't think I could say I actually regret it. We still chat about our fun holidays, even now.

changerlot · 08/04/2023 07:22

isthewashingdryyet · 08/04/2023 06:58

I will add my usual warning here, of having an 18 year old able to access a large sum of money on their 18 th birthday can mean the money is spent on stuff vital to an 18 year old, and not what you thought it would be spent on.
keep it in your name, and give it to them when they need the important things.

I completely agree with this.

TeenDivided · 08/04/2023 07:22

Singapore4 · 08/04/2023 07:18

You don't have to tell your child about the account at 18 necessarily. I wouldn't of blown money at 16 never mind 18 but of course people are all different.

Show quote history

It depends whose name the money is saved in.
If it has gone in the name of the child, then yes you do need to tell them at 18.

Safer just to save in your name. Then you have access to the money if needed beforehand, and you can hold it back and give it to them as you see fit.

Oblomov23 · 08/04/2023 07:24

Neither of mine have favourite memories from expensive things. They more remember the Easter that dad did a bbq and xxxx happened.
Neither of mine spent the savings accounts saved for them. They are still sat there waiting to be used towards a house deposit. Who are all these wastrel children immediately spending it?

Phoebo · 08/04/2023 07:26

I think the amount matters. 2k isn't worth the bother but 20k certainly is. Kids don't need too much when they are young, there's lots of free things you can do that they will probably enjoy more, but a significant amount of money when they're older will make a material difference to their life and help give them a hand up

Singapore4 · 08/04/2023 07:26

@MugOfSoup absolutely things add up quickly as you need lunch, cold drinks and ice cream in summer but what I notice is you can't ready go anywhere for free. I find it quite hard as I'm a single parent so I pay for activities as DS dad never does things like that. At 8 years old the kids want to do more expensive activities I find a park trip does not cut it anymore (I miss the pram days). The train is expensive too your right.

£150 to save isn't a huge amount but I'm a single parent so it is to me. I could cut holidays abroad out but I don't want to live a life of misery or getting myself stressed.

I'm only voting to save if you can inaddition to activies. I wouldn't advise to save if it meant you can't have fish and chips at the beach.

Sorry about your friend too Sepsis is a horrendous.

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