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Original poster

Save for DC future or spend now?

73 replies

Sleepdeprived42long · 08/04/2023 06:52

If you had to choose, would you save for DC future or spend just now on experiences which could enhance their life (eg holidays, activities etc)?

Would the future amount change your answer eg £2k, £20k, £200k?

Just a debate DH and I are currently having so would be interested in hearing other people’s thoughts!

OP posts:
Ragwort · 08/04/2023 07:31

If I really had to choose only one option it would be saving but hopefully you can do a bit of both. Agree with Oblomov that the best memories are not necessarily the most expensive experiences. And some expensive 'investments' ... like tutoring to get through Maths GCSE and A Level Blush might be necessary but not exactly 'memorable'.
We set up a pension fund when our DS was born ... obviously he can't access it for years but we felt it was a good investment... he also has a LISA and a Help To Buy Isa (I think those have stopped now). I also agree with how you manage access to the funds .. our DS is 22 now but fortunately seems sensible with money .... he used his own savings from Christmas and birthday presents towards his first car and we gave him a modest contribution.

PhotoDad · 08/04/2023 07:35

A mix of both! We saved quite a lot when the DC were young, and as they got older and developed expensive hobbies, we shifted the balance. No right answer here, really.

DD took a small amount from her JISA at 18 for "spends" and is transferring the rest over to a LISA at the maximum rate (which reminds me, it's a new tax year and I should check that she's on the case!) But it's there as a safety-net if her finances require. DS isn't 18 yet but the savings are in his name.

If the savings accounts had been in our names, it would have been very tempting to raid them when household money was tight! (There can also be problems if the savings are in the parents' name in the event of death or divorce.)

YukoandHiro · 08/04/2023 07:35

Absolutely agree with @isthewashingdryyet

mrssunshinexxx · 08/04/2023 07:38

@twigy100 so sorry x

YukoandHiro · 08/04/2023 07:38

@duvetdissident they're not talking about regular saving for family/household needs but separate savings in the child's name just to hand over to them as adults

Singapore4 · 08/04/2023 07:40

@PhotoDad agree it could be tempting to spend a child's saving if its in your name. Also a reminder that it's not always possible to save for your child in your own bank due to certain limits being allowed regarding benefits and what not.

twigy100 · 08/04/2023 07:43

mrssunshinexxx · 08/04/2023 07:38

@twigy100 so sorry x

Thank you, I just look at things differently now I have my own little boy and try to make as many memories as possible. Life is to short but I'm also looking to take out a life insurance policy and list him as beneficiary so maybe that's my way 🤷‍♀️

MugOfSoup · 08/04/2023 07:45

@Singapore4 you are right, as they get older it gets harder to find things for free or still be able to wow them. And absolutely live for now and if you are able to save, save. I completely take my hat off to you, single parent life is incredibly hard.

I think having a Saturday film together from Netflix, watching TV shows on TV or any on demand steaming service, (ITV, BBCiplayer etc) is well worth the investment.

@PhotoDad this is why we had a generic savings account so that we could dip into it for whatever we wanted. After we had an extension built the garden was trashed from building materials, we used some of the savings to landscape the garden so the children could play outside again.

Both of our children have Child Trust Funds but we never paid into them as it is their money at 18 and we didn't know if they would be a saver or a spender. Ds1 is now 20 and his original £250 became £1200. Ds2 is 17 and his hasn't performed as well so we will be topping up the money to the same as his brother when it matures. That money will be coming from that pot.

lifesnotaspectatorsport · 08/04/2023 07:54

I think we're in the minority here. Good incomes but we don't save anything specifically for the kids. I definitely put the priority on experiences - days out, treats, dance class, guitar lessons, trips away etc. Probably influenced by my own childhood where my DF was an absolute miser and we never did anything nice.

I am rather of the view that when they are adults they need to make their own way. Yes we will do what's needed to support them at uni, for example, but I don't think it's our responsibility to buy them a car or give them a house deposit. It's theirs. If we choose to help later on, fine. But I want them to work for their own goals and not rely on the bank of mum and dad!

FootnerFanatic · 08/04/2023 08:03

We save for both DC (in my name) and also have days out/holidays. We don't save a set amount each month, it depends on what we have planned. For example, the month we go on holiday we won't save anything as that money will go towards spending money. I'm all for investing in their future but they also have to live for the moment. We try to balance it.

If we had to choose one or the other, we'd use the money for days out/experiences/holidays rather than locking it away where it'd be no use to anyone for the foreseeable future. As depressing as it is, tomorrow is promised to no one, so enjoy it while you can.

Marchforward · 08/04/2023 08:09

Now. Well we’ve chosen for me to be a stay at home Mum for now so it’s more a loss of income. I don’t plan to be a sahm forever. We have £10 per month saving per child. However we are over paying the mortgage so it it be gone before they are 18 and we will have additional capacity to give the DCs money then.

LlynTegid · 08/04/2023 08:26

I'd be considering things that can improve life every day. Spending a bit more on things in the house, for example.

Original poster
Sleepdeprived42long · 08/04/2023 08:59

Up until now we’ve done both. But with cost of living going up, for us to continue to do both will either mean not saving any further beyond what we already have, or possibly even dipping into the savings we’ve already built up for them. Definitely no easy answer!

OP posts:
Jojobalone · 08/04/2023 09:55

Sleepdeprived42long · 08/04/2023 08:59

Up until now we’ve done both. But with cost of living going up, for us to continue to do both will either mean not saving any further beyond what we already have, or possibly even dipping into the savings we’ve already built up for them. Definitely no easy answer!

Is there no middle ground op?

maintain a small monthly saving
cut back but not stop day trips and treats?

Singapore4 · 08/04/2023 10:01

Sleepdeprived42long · 08/04/2023 08:59

Up until now we’ve done both. But with cost of living going up, for us to continue to do both will either mean not saving any further beyond what we already have, or possibly even dipping into the savings we’ve already built up for them. Definitely no easy answer!

What sort of activities do you do? How often? It's all relative. Agree you need to try and a middle ground.

Original poster
Sleepdeprived42long · 08/04/2023 18:53

@Jojobalone @Singapore4 Ive already cut down to £50 each per month (£100 total). It was previously double that and there’s about £20k in their pot at the moment.

At the moment we do one foreign holiday and Center Parcs a year and we all love our time on holiday! But the cost of holidays has increased a lot (and that’s even with shopping around!) and as they get older their activities (2 each, costs around £100 pm on average) are also increasing. Never mind the fact that costs of essentials are going up too and they are eating more! I don’t really want to stop going on holiday or doing their activities as they benefit so much from these, but it will likely be at the expense of saving for their future.

Probably doesn’t help that my family had very little money when I was growing up so I had neither holidays nor help with buying car/house etc!

OP posts:
Singapore4 · 08/04/2023 20:26

I've never been to Centre parcs but I have looked and it's pricey. I did Butlins due to lockdown.

A colleague told me about Haven holidays and they do come in at a great price... I can relate about not stopping holidays if you can help it. I know this is frowned upon but I always go on holiday during school time to save a huge amount of money.

Jojobalone · 09/04/2023 05:52

How old are your dc?

PuttingDownRoots · 09/04/2023 06:26

I found on Mumsnet how high the "parental contribution" for university is supposed to be if they don't qualify for full loans..
For us... thats what these savings accounts DDs have are for! We know that whatever our financial situation when they are 18, the money is there fir university of another training course. However its mostly grandparents contributing currently.

We have other savings for holidays and activities.

hattie43 · 09/04/2023 07:28

Depends on the amount . If large enough I think the best thing a parent can do is help kids into the property ladder otherwise they'll be confined to a lifetime of dodgy rentals .

Xrays · 09/04/2023 08:01

We live for now. I have very poor health (chronic autoimmune issues) and I know that in particular the lupus I have may prevent me doing much in the future, so we don’t save anything for the dc, we spend - holidays, days out etc. We have two dc aged 11 and 20 - eldest is at university and is on full loans / grants and bursaries (we are a fairly low income family, disability benefits - for Ds and I - and husbands full time but low wage). Any spare money we have we spend and enjoy. BUT - before I became disabled I had a very high paying job and I had a large inheritance which means we own a large home in the country with no mortgage / own outright and this will eventually pass to the children to be split between them so I do appreciate we’re in a bit of a different situation to many. Day to day though we’re constantly overdrawn and living on our last penny! 😁 (Yet still have 2 holidays a year - one foreign one and a Haven one).

TravellingSpoon · 09/04/2023 08:13

My DS is disabled and any savings in his name will effect his future benefits. He has an account his DLA (soon to be PIP) goes into for his activities, like riding and 1:1 swimming. These are his favourite things.

I try and give him as many experiences as possible. He loves being outside so we go to as many places as we can. He loves the beach, and we are lucky we live close to an area with lots of walks and bike trails so we do this almost every weekend. We do lots of short breaks and a big holiday every year. I save hard for it and we live quite simply.

I have a generic savings account in my name so when my DD is older I can help her if needed, but I want her to learn to stand on her own two feet.

Alarae · 09/04/2023 08:19

If I had to choose one or the other, I would go for savings as you don't have to spend money to make experiences.

In an ideal world I would simply decrease the savings to do half and half- at the moment that would be £50 saving, with £50 to go on a day out/treats.

My DD is only 3 so she doesn't need much at this age, so putting money away now makes more sense and gives it chance to grow.

It sounds like you have already saved a significant amount for your children, likely more than the majority will ever have, so I don't see a negative in stopping the savings to enjoy time now.

InTheCludgie · 09/04/2023 10:24

When DS was born the ILs gave us a sum of money for him and I opened a savings account through my bank for him, but in his own name. MiL also left him money in her will to be accessed at age 21, this has also gone into the same pool of money. He gets access to this account at 16 however, I'll move it out the account before then into one of my own to honour the terms of the will, plus 16 is WAY too young to get his mitts on that amount of cash! We save from our own money, along with some cash my DF left to me, to give the kids experiences and holidays.

Before the age of 18 my only holidays consisted of two trips to Blackpool and a day out to a local Butlins, and my DF (single parent) couldn't afford for us to go on any of the school trips so I like to make sure as much as possible that my DCs get as many good experiences as we can afford to give them.

Bunnycat101 · 09/04/2023 16:24

Given how much you’ve already saved I’d stop personally and prioritise experiences. That doesn’t necessarily need to be holidays but could be school trips, driving lessons, day trips theatre trips etc.

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