Anyone up for a ‘sort yourself out’ supportive encouraging thread?

[SpringOn]

Hi,
I’m 47, feeing old. I’ve very much lost my way with style, exercise, hair, you name it.
I need to:
lose two stone
decide what to do with my witchy mostly grey hair (I’ve been growing out dark brown dye for 10 months, decided to go grey, but I feel so old! Don’t know whether to go back to dye or stay grey).
mu wardrobe is a disaster. I have some decent smart work stuff but my casual clothes are basically lairy leggings and hoodies. I am a size 20.
My house needs a good clean and de clutter
I want to grow veg and have lovely flowers in the garden

Good bits:
I have a great husband, three fab kids and a job I love
I walk the dog for about 20 mins every day

Anyone want to join for self- improvement on an encouraging thread?

Yes please! From being really fit and healthy I've gained two stone due to WFH and getting lazy. Not too keen on the way I look and feel and would like to shift it. Energy is also lower and my eating habits have gone from healthy to dire!

@SparkleHard I actually had my first therapy session today. I think I am generally quite good at the practical side of things but I recognise that it is the emotional side of me that needs some help. I'm naturally someone who just gets on with things and listens to other people's problems but at what cost? There have been external things going on in my life and although on the surface I am just 'dealing' with it, inside I am running around in a state of blind panic!! So I think my usual just keep calm and carry on method of living isn't working anymore and I feel more and more overwhelmed when I hit a bump. I have always been sceptical of therapy but even after one session, I feel lighter. I think just having someone listen to me without interrupting is helpful.

@Dracuuule I have the kindle app on my phone so it's easy to read instead of doom scrolling, reading about some other awful husband on mn etc (I've also uninstalled social media apps). Although saying that, my current book is a huge hardback so progress is very slow.

Oooh can I join? 49 and getting fatter, three stone added over ten years. The hair is ok, work clothes great, job busy but fun but I need a cleaner home, better habits, more exercise and skin care! Work full time (sole earner), dh who is ill, three kids and some pets. Spend too much time on my phone and too much time going to bed very late. Today is day one with no crisps or Diet Coke - let’s see if I can keep that going! I won’t admit how much I eat of both so have to stop both together as one leads to the other somehow!

@WhereHasTheSunshineGone hello! Your message made me laugh because you clearly want to get more sleep. :) Since being on this thread I've started using a podcast to help me get to sleep (can't remember who recommended it but THANK YOU it is like magic): Nothing Much Happens. Although it might be that you aren't giving yourself enough time to sleep rather than insomnia (and it might be your life doesn't allow sleep: I remember a doctor telling me I needed to make sure that I got 8 hours with my eyes closed (I had an eye condition) and I had to explain I had three kids under 2 and that wasn't going to happen for several years). What can you do to help you get a bit more sleep?

Waves at @JamSandle.

@Handpickled I used to be a diet coke addict (I shudder to think about how much I used to drink). I never ever drink it anymore. I drink gallons of fizzy water (I have a sodastream) which was the replacement I needed. I used to drink it because I thought it would fill me up and allow to me to eat less. Never actually worked out that way.

I've had a good day so far: went for my run (yay me); have done post office and errandy things -- and am just finishing up work for the day (despite having so much to do it's making me feel a bit sick) with a view to hanging with the kids for a bit and then maybe finishing my book.

Tomorrow is the last day of the school hols so have booked most of the day off work and we haven't yet decided what we'll do with it: depends on the weather a bit. I'm going to aim to avoid cake (!); get some crap out of the house (either go to the tip / clothes recycling / charity shop); and get 10k steps in.

Love hearing about how everyone is getting on -- here's hoping everyone moved a little bit in the right direction.

I would like to join.

I'm 50, fatter than I have ever been, have zero energy or motivation. I was doing really well food and exercise and then I got ill for around 3 weeks and gave up on it all and have not stopped eating ever since. Atm I could sleep all day, every day. I am eating a lot but I am also not interested in a decent meal - if that makes sense ? it's all boring. I'm binge eating crap.

I don't want to see anyone or go anywhere. I would go for a low key drink in a pub or at a friends house but that is it. Friends keep planning lots of days out and including me but I just want to mostly be at home.

I have given up on myself. I can't get up in the mornings. I have to get up to WFH (have always WFH). I feel like I crawl from bed to home office to bed while going in the kitchen cupboard/fridge about a thousand times a day. I don't want to eat the crap food but I cannot help myself.

Someone plse help me help myself.

@imanewuser Urgh poor you. Sounds like you might still be poorly to be honest: be kind to yourself and allow yourself to rest. When you have a bit more energy maybe a short walk in the sunshine? @SpringOn talked up thread about a “keystone” habit which is the first one to get in place which I really like the idea of. For some it’s exercise, for others it’s a decent breakfast etc. I think of it like learning a dance. When you lose your place you need to stop and listen to the music and pick up the basic step until you are back in the rhythm and can add some more complex steps in / add to the routine.

@imanewuser I also think you sound like you're still ill. Can you reach out to one of your friends and tell them how you feel?
I know the rut of eating crap leads to eating more crap which makes you feel even more rubbish.
If you can, try to drink lots of water and have some more veg. Can you make a soup? Think of it as medicine.
How about asking a friend to go for a short walk with you? Or sit in your garden for a little while. Take a hot drink.

I'm so like this.

I havent caught up on messages sorry, trying to leave my phone alone.

Less productive days today but that's because I was busier despite less hours at work. Collecting DC from GPs, and looking after friends cats and Ponies as she's on holiday. So thus week (while she's away) I will be pushed for time.

I dud the charity shop run. 2 things given to mum. 1 item posted for vinted and 2 more packaged up but need to be sent by a different method.

Just going to have a bath and face mask. I dont particularly enjoy this stuff, but definitely need to engage in more self care, it reaps its own rewards!

I had a weird day, nothing went as planned and I got NONE of my plans done.
BUT instead I had a coffee and a long chat with a friend, a nap after lunch and a wine on the patio with my mum and sister in the evening. My son stayed at my mum's so I'm now lazing around watching TV and looking forward to a lie-in tomorrow. Yay 🥳
It wasn't a good day health-wise but it felt good!

Plans for tomorrow
-start getting the garden ready for spring
-drink enough water/tea
-meet a friend at the gym
-start a new book

Sounds like a lovely day!

I’d like to join too please. I feel really out of sorts and need a good kick to get me going.

I’ve got at least 3 stone to lose and no motivation. My skin is awful, my hair looks yuck and I’ve got a stomach on me that is quite frankly embarrassing. I am dreading the summer months and hot weather.

I spend too much time on my phone doom scrolling, I eat healthily but far too much, don’t drink enough water, sleep badly and feel shattered all the time. My head is too full of worries about family and friends health, I have brain fog and can’t remember blooming anything useful any more and I just feel really meh for want of a better word. I’ve lost my mojo for doing the things I love. I am so tired!!

I know what I need to do, I just need to do it.

I didn't accomplish everything I set out to do today partly because I was busy and partly because I've had a headache all day.

I managed around 6000 steps.
Skin care goal was all achieved
Intermittent fasting achieved
No wheat and sugar achieved
Plank achieved
Weights failed
Water I forgot to keep a note of so can't say

I need an early night so should go to bed now.

Sorry I haven’t had time to properly answer everyone tonight - super busy day and ready to drop into bed. But in the interests of my own accountability:
only 1 l water drunk
Couch to 5k run done
no breakfast or lunch (eek) as I was in meetings. Did eat a healthy dinner though
Did a couple of hours of my Uni course (doesn’t properly start for two weeks but I’m trying to get ahead because I cannot see how I am going to fit it in when it starts properly!)
Tomorrow:
1 hr work
2 hrs uni work
2l water
Couch to 5k

Well BunsenBurnerBaby I have the fuzzy water to hand. Should be over the worst of the headache by tonight. Did skincare, ordered new knickers and socks, did some work I have put off and had a good walk with the youngest. No crisps or coke consumed.

imanewuser - lovely that friends are still reaching out can you get them to do something you can face. You sound like to need to go gently and generously with yourself.

Morning all! I’ve not checked in for a few days, but nice to see a few new faces and to read everyone’s updates.

I’ve not done too brilliantly on the food front, but better than usual, so I still consider that a win. In other news, I’ve increased my rowing sessions from 2 to 3km. I’m really pleased with that. Ultimate aim is to get back to the 10km sessions I used to do, but that’s going to take a while. One step at a time😊

My plan for today:
-healthy food & not too many snacks
-row 3k
-do something productive this evening, not sure what that looks like yet
-go to bed at a reasonable time

Haven't done great on food or meditation, but did spend a lot of yesterday outside with kids. Today I'm really focusing on how I react with kids, hopefully feeling better about that will help with motivation later on today.

@prettygirlincrimsonrose well done on getting outside with the kids, the weather is so temperamental at the moment isn’t it. I’ve taken DS and DN to the park and I’m sat here shivering with four layers on!

It’s been a bit of a rubbish week for me with the flu BUT I am still 2lbs down from last weekends weigh in and I’m fasting through til tomorrow so hopefully I will lose another pound. I’ve stuck to the fasting and I’ve stuck to my skincare regime - I’ve never looked so good whilst feeling so rubbish 😂

Sounds like a lot of people struggling with bugs. Sending get well wishes!

I’ve got both the nasty cold and a sore ankle tendon so the exercise isn’t really happening this week.

I have managed to not waste loads of time on my phone in the evenings and have sat and sewed instead. Really positive change and feels a lot better. Doing something I actively enjoy rather than just vegetating.

Focussing on eating a better diet for the next few days!

Get well soon everyone that's poorly/ injured. X

Today I have done 20 mins on peloton bike.

Planning a dog walk shortly.

Had a protein smoothie for brekkie and salmon/egg salad for lunch.
Have got nutricheck back working for calorie counting.
Struggling with water, really need to sort that out. I've lost my bottle and hate drinking it from a glass.

This weekend I'm planning more peloton, healthy eating, no wine, family walk, hopefully big clothes sort out! Need to get rid of loads, and get all my spring/summer stuff out and rotate. Fingers crossed 🤞

Oooh @HormonalHetty some big wins there! I am the same - a glass is just not the same as a bottle.

Someone asked upthread what the trousers were that I got fromM and S - they were the Linen rich wide leg trousers in navy. They are flattering, comfy, and also smart enough for work. I’ve just ordered two more pairs! I am 5ft 5 and short were plenty long enough.
I’ve also got four new vest tops in grey, navy and purple, and just ordered a bright pink cardigan to go with the trousers too.
We’re just over a week into this thread. I have managed five runs, a significant wardrobe update, lost 4lbs and had a haircut.
I am feeling 10 times better about myself. Thank you all for being on the thread. I hope you all are also feeling like progress is happening!

Sending you a virtual hug! I'm glad it's not just me but also sorry to hear you are on the same boat as it's a rocky ride. I don't know whether the road I am trying is the right one but I'm ready to find out.

Alright you lot! Where have you all gone? @ApocalypseNowt @Brewskipa @ChristmasLightsLover @CliffsofMohair @Countrydiary @Crinkletinkle @FurryFerrets33 @GreenMarigold @Handpickled @Hiddendoor @IHateLegDay @ILoveNigelTufnel @IWasGlad @Imamumgetmeoutofhere @JamSandle @JaneJeffer @Lostinplaces @KatiefromHull @MudLady @Mybestusername @NurseCranesRolodex @OhCobblers @PetronellaOsgood @Pineapples87 @RJnomore1 @RafaistheKingofClay @Restlessinthenorth @Solongtoshort @SparkleEgg @Stressybetty @Tayegete @Unicorn34 @Villagetoraiseachild @Whatliesbeneath707 @WhereHasTheSunshineGone @YukoandHiro @fullofeasterchocolate @onedaywhenifallinlove @sheepdreams @shutthedamndoor @sundaymorningcall

Thus is a quick reminder that there is NO SHAME to falling off the self improvement wagon - just get right back in if you’d like to continue the journey! I have tried to find the usernames of people who have joined but not posted in the past few days - very sorry if you have posted but I have still put your name - there are a lot of us!

Just a reminder if you’ve fallen off the thread, this is a gentle, supportive thread for self-improvement. A lot of us want to eat more healthily, follow an exercise routine, take care of ourselves better or keep on top of household stuff.

Lots of us post a plan for the day and then update how the day has gone later in to keep us accountable. Progress not perfection! I have no idea really why it works, but for lots of us somehow it seems to help to move us to doing more of what we want to do and helps us to notice if we’re drifting.

so today I did
All the work and uni work I was going to
did a long walk with the kids and the dog
had a healthy (delicious) lunch
Am already in bed
Drank my water

Tomorrow
2 hrs work
Couch to 5k
2 l water

Sleep tight everyone!

@SpringOn I’m here I promise 😆 fluey but going strong!