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Original poster

ADD / ADHD as an adult, apparently DH shouldn't be able to hold down a job

52 replies

Champagneforeveryone · 05/04/2023 12:11

After advice really as I'm feeling a bit bemused by it all.

DH is finally mostly on board with speaking to the GP about a possible diagnosis. We had a telephone conversation today and the GP has arranged blood tests initially and a face to face follow up. He has however advised that an assessment is very unlikely to be forthcoming as DH has managed to work his whole life, which was "unlikely to happen if he had ADHD"

TBH I had only just woken up after night shifts as the GP phoned earlier than expected, so was a little wrong footed and didn't question this. He seemed keener to go down the path of anxiety or depression, and even offered to prescribe AD's today (we have opted to wait until he sees the GP for the follow up) I've no doubt that DH suffers from anxiety but the GP acted as if this was the only possible likelihood.

This rather bald statement seems hugely unlikely to me (although I admit I'm not an expert) Have I got it wrong and actually most people don't work? Is a full life of work an immediate sign that you couldn't possibly have ADHD?

FWIW we have spoken about this and already decided that we would look for a private diagnosis - DH is older and while the impact on his life is big, he's unhappy with the idea of taking a space on the waiting list when its already so long. The GP was aware of this.

OP posts:
FurAndFeathers · 05/04/2023 12:13

It bollovks. There are plenty of adults holding down jobs with ADHD. Ask your GP for an ADHD assessment at least

Nepmarthiturn · 05/04/2023 12:14

Utter rubbish. I have ADHD and a full time professional job, as do many others.

LilySavage · 05/04/2023 12:17

Yeah that’s a load of shite from the GP. I think most of my team in work have some form of neurodiversity. We’re all here, working full time, helping each other get by.

MumBusy · 05/04/2023 12:17

I’m a lawyer work with heaps of hugely successful lawyers with adhd. Fire the doctor go for a private diagnosis. It beggars belief how these people have a licence to practice medicine. Good luck.

moomoogalicious · 05/04/2023 12:20

Tell that to my ds and dh! Both work.

DoesItHaveKosovo · 05/04/2023 12:21

Work full time, professional role, diagnosed ADHD as an adult. Work with lots of ND people.

(I feel like I have to try harder most of the time to not forget simple things…)

Push back for an assessment.

Allmarbleslost · 05/04/2023 12:22

Absolute bollocks. The ignorance shown by some medical professionals is astounding really.

Florissante · 05/04/2023 12:22

I have ADD and autism (both diagnosed) and these conditions haven't stopped me from having professional jobs.

Original poster
Champagneforeveryone · 05/04/2023 12:24

Thank you all so much, it's exactly what I was thinking 🤔

OP posts:
SeaToSki · 05/04/2023 12:24

AdHD can actually be an asset in the working world. If you happen to find a job that you can hyper focus on, you are likely to be very successful at it. Its often the everyday minutia of daily life that is more difficult for adults with ADHD

anythinginapinch · 05/04/2023 12:26

A GP is NOT qualified to assess even the potential that someone has ADHD. Makes me so angry to hear that crap

Catgotyourbrain · 05/04/2023 12:28

What he means is they are unlikely to take the referral in the NHS unless he is affected so much he’s unable to hold down a job - or is in prison. That’s what they told us. It’s the threshold for assessment rather than diagnosis. The GP is misinformed/explains badly/ is a dick

good luck

Somanycats · 05/04/2023 12:28

No adult DS has ADHD diagnosed as an adult, and works. In a totally different style to all his colleagues, but hey variety is the spice of life!. If you needs meds it does prevent you from doing some jobs though.

Catgotyourbrain · 05/04/2023 12:29

To clarify - we paid private for my DH to be assessed. He’s a classic case - as is DS

Clarice99 · 05/04/2023 12:29

I'm autistic and have ADHD. I work, always have.

My GP refused to refer me for an autism assessment some years back. She said 'you can't be autistic, you're a woman, you have a good job, you're married and you own your own home' (no idea how she knew that)

I insisted on a referral.

The level of ignorance from some GP's and other medical professionals is depressing and quite scary.

wibblewobbleball · 05/04/2023 12:31

Get the screening questionnaires that are used for diagnosis (google). Get DH to fill in, give to the GP and ask for referral for assessment. Also read up on right to choose.

DumpedByText · 05/04/2023 12:32

My good friend was diagnosed as an adult, she's always held a job down. She's a bit erratic and impulsive but she doesn't let it rule her life.

Clarice99 · 05/04/2023 12:33

Catgotyourbrain · 05/04/2023 12:28

What he means is they are unlikely to take the referral in the NHS unless he is affected so much he’s unable to hold down a job - or is in prison. That’s what they told us. It’s the threshold for assessment rather than diagnosis. The GP is misinformed/explains badly/ is a dick

good luck

I've worked for decades for the same employer and I've never been in prison. I was referred for an ADHD assessment on the NHS (and autism years before the ADHD referral).

I think there might be an element of it being a 'postcode lottery' with autism and ADHD referrals. That and plain old ignorance.

2022again · 05/04/2023 12:43

you might want to suggest your GP reads "ADHD 2.0" By "World-renowned authors Dr. Edward M. Hallowell and Dr. John J. Ratey literally "wrote the book" on ADD/ADHD more than two decades ago. Their bestseller, Driven to Distraction, largely introduced this diagnosis to the public "....both have ADHD themselves.

tattygrl · 05/04/2023 13:06

Speaking as an ADHD adult, one of the reasons many of us DO indeed hold down jobs is because there's sweet FA else we can do. It's extremely hard to get any disability benefits on the grounds of ADHD, and most of us don't want to be destitute. Sorry, that's really pissed me off (what the GP said, not this post). Working absolutely drains the life out of me and in my decade of working life so far, I've had regular breakdowns every couple of years that take months to recover from. However, I'd be considered "able to hold down a job", because, well, I've had to. Real life is more complex than what "should" be the case based on textbook definitions and symptoms. I hope your partner gets the support they need. Keep pushing.

lipikar · 05/04/2023 13:09

LilySavage · 05/04/2023 12:17

Yeah that’s a load of shite from the GP. I think most of my team in work have some form of neurodiversity. We’re all here, working full time, helping each other get by.

Most of your team? Doesn't make it that diverse then.

Rainbows89 · 05/04/2023 13:14

Utter bollocks. Myself and my husband both have adhd and both have professional
jobs.

FMLpassthegin · 05/04/2023 13:15

Ask for a referral for a diagnosis via Right To Choose and ask to be referred to either Psychiatry Uk or ADHD 360. Avoid going via the CHMT/NHS MH services route as they are, I think the ones that put these thresholds in to try and cut down the number being put forward for diagnosis and have waiting lists of four/five year. Psychiatry Uk/ ADHD 360 or similar have much shorter waiting times. The irony of a gp saying he wouldn't be able to hold down a job is that ADHD brings amazing skill sets - we are renowned for example of being great in crisis situations and so many people with ADHD end up working in A&E, trauma roles as a result of their ability to make quick decisions and zone in because we love a bit of urgency.

chessburger · 05/04/2023 13:16

My husband has ADHD and has a serious, professional job that his hyper focus is beneficial for. However he's a bit of a disaster in every other area of his life.

TheCentreSlide · 05/04/2023 13:19

Apparently if he needs medication and in future wishes to acquire these via the NHS, he will need to get a diagnosis of ADHD via the NHS: they don’t accept private dx. So it would be worthwhile getting on the waiting list while you pursue a private assessment.

Maybe that’s just my area but it’s what is advised.