ADD / ADHD as an adult, apparently DH shouldn't be able to hold down a job

[Champagneforeveryone]

After advice really as I'm feeling a bit bemused by it all.

DH is finally mostly on board with speaking to the GP about a possible diagnosis. We had a telephone conversation today and the GP has arranged blood tests initially and a face to face follow up. He has however advised that an assessment is very unlikely to be forthcoming as DH has managed to work his whole life, which was "unlikely to happen if he had ADHD"

TBH I had only just woken up after night shifts as the GP phoned earlier than expected, so was a little wrong footed and didn't question this. He seemed keener to go down the path of anxiety or depression, and even offered to prescribe AD's today (we have opted to wait until he sees the GP for the follow up) I've no doubt that DH suffers from anxiety but the GP acted as if this was the only possible likelihood.

This rather bald statement seems hugely unlikely to me (although I admit I'm not an expert) Have I got it wrong and actually most people don't work? Is a full life of work an immediate sign that you couldn't possibly have ADHD?

FWIW we have spoken about this and already decided that we would look for a private diagnosis - DH is older and while the impact on his life is big, he's unhappy with the idea of taking a space on the waiting list when its already so long. The GP was aware of this.

If you are referred via right to choose this won't be an issue though so as others have I would recommend this. We had to go private for DD and pay for her medication for 6 months before (thankfully) the GP agreed to accept the diagnosis and do the prescriptions on the NHS. Her medication cost about £85 each time.

Not true. I'm diagnosed and medicated (ADHD and autism, medicated for ADHD). Diagnosed privately, did 3 month titration under the private doctor then moved under 'shared care agreement' meaning my GP now prescribed my meds on the NHS.

I don't work currently but not because of my conditions, I've been a SAHM for a few years. During that time though I've taken several qualifications and trained in a new career. I'll set up my own business as a consultant next year.

Can't work, my backside.

Some adults with ADHD (and/or autism) won't be able to work because of this. Many others can and do, very successfully!

That’s interesting, thank you guys. Hmm. I wonder why our GP stated this.

@Skyliner1 I have just looked at right to choose and it seems to say you can request other NHS providers but didn’t mention private - could you please explain the process you used? Thank you 🙏🏼

maybe point your GP towards Gabor Mate- a successful doctor, ADHD expert and author.

He has ADHD. Had a pretty successful career.

think GP is explaining badly. NHS probably only really refer the worst cases. Anyone seen to be ‘coping’ will just languish on waiting list for years.

This was exactly the response I got from my GP, offered anti depressants. I’ve now got dx privately, I was well within criteria. I do okay at work until I don’t, get behind on paperwork and get very stressed. I’ve worked since I was 15 though! One extended period off with ‘depression’ following me falling behind with work and being bullied by my managers. I function much better at work than at home, where work is super boring and so difficult to keep on top of chores.

We're happy(ish!) to pay so potentially sounds like a private diagnosis and pay for meds until NHS assessment.

Its a shame it's taken so long for DH to accept he needs help - once you start looking back all the signs were there, it's just that they've got worse as he's got older and slowed down. Actually the GP also said that he's never seen anyone of DH's age get assessed 🙄

I work in an Adult ADHD service. For a diagnosis under NICE guidelines you need to have two domains that your symptoms affect you in - this doesn't have to include work! Almost all of my patients work.

I've also seen people in their 60s be diagnosed in adulthood. Your GP is perhaps just trying to put you off from being referred given the massive waiting list. But if you feel its the right thing to do, definitely push for it or go Right to Choose or private. If private, make sure they are BPS and HCPC registered. You can transfer to NHS for care after a private diagnosis is made, if one is made.

We used psychiatry UK for my daughter privately and I am waiting for my appointment with them through right to choose. Someone else gave the name of another place that you can go to through right to choose though earlier in the thread I think though.

My DD1 is a GP... and has ADHD (medicated from the age of 7 still is in her 30s). Somehow she managed med school, and all her training afterwards... and is a bloody good doctor, super focused!

My GP told me many doctors are concerned about “the over diagnosis of ADHD” and questioned the legitimacy of some diagnosis… Asked him what research this comment was based on. Also suggested many people (not all) might have been spared a lifetime of anxiety and depression that can come with that feeling of constantly being out of step with life around you. I was so cross.

My DD has a private diagnosis with shared care now. GPs are not specialists, they don’t know everything. Politely call them out when you know what they tell you is untrue.

@Champagneforeveryone Agree that it is total bollocks that ADHD-ers can't hold down a job. It can be very hard, and ADHD is associated with risk-taking and addiction so you can see why there would be a high proportion of prisoners with ADHD.

I just wanted to mention that if your DH is experiencing anxiety (which would be almost guaranteed with ADHD!) then he may well benefit from anti-anxiety meds as well as treatment for his ADHD. If he is experiencing distress now then he can consider starting meds for the anxiety while he is waiting to see a psychiatrist for a proper review.

Good luck to you both

I have ADHD, I’ve worked all of my adult life, I have two jobs at the moment, until recently I had three (one being a traditional job).

DH was recently diagnosed aged 47. Since then, three of our friends have also been diagnosed. Every single one is professional, and successful. One, remarkably so. They have their quirks which has helped in the field that they are in.

Your GP is shocking!

I guess it is a spectrum like autism. I hear many people on here who say they or their partner have adhd and work. Just like you here about many autistic people that can function relatively well a lot of the time., eventhough many can't.

My partner has adhd and was in specialist education. There is no way he could possibly hold down a job. He can't remotely look after himself and I couldn't leave him to look after our children.

It is difficult when so many people take a diagnosis to mean the same thing. It then means that some people just don't get the severity of what I am dealing with on a day to day basis.

I have adhd and work full time, diagnosed as an adult, mental health is through the floor but what choice do I have i have to work. plus routine really helps. Before I was diagnosed I almost lost my job. Thankfully that hasn't happened...

After I was diagnosed I applied to access to work. I'm having some ADHD coaching which is helping me cope with. I'm also on meds.

Well I have ADHD and am on meds for it ... and have been a GP for 20 years so I'm pretty sure that's bollocks ! Also diagnosed sensory processing disorder which often seen as is part of the Autistic spectrum..

Absolute rubbish , the Dr knows nothing about ADHD clearly.

There was a thread recently on all the jobs adhd adults have. Loads high flying high pressure jobs. We don't do mundane stuff

I had exactly this said to me by an NHS psychiatrist when I spoke to them about ADHD.

It’s just completely ridiculous. Having to manage at work drains so much from me that the rest of my life is fucking shit show! My colleagues would fall over if they saw the rest of my life!

@lipikar i work in IT. Rates of neurodivergence tend to be higher than in society as a whole. Or did it just make you feel better to make a snippy comment?

Just a quick update, not amazing news TBH 🙄

DH and I saw the GP who once again dismissed the idea of ADHD without even asking about symptoms. HOWEVER, he was otherwise extremely helpful and patient and explained to DH in some detail ways to help himself in terms of his general MH. DH has never countenanced speaking to anyone about this before and came out of it with a prescription for sertraline and a really positive attitude (though no idea how long that might last!)

I'm happy enough with that for now. The GP wants to see him in 3-4 weeks so this isn't just him chucking AD's at the problem, and I have suspected DH suffers with anxiety in some form for practically our whole relationship. If we could make his life just that little bit easier in the present, then that would at least be something, and we can pursue an assessment further down the line.

On a positive note, DH has been completely knocked flat by the tablets and is in bed sleeping like a baby. His sleep is one of the things that has been affected quite dramatically so at the very least, a good nights sleep should make him feel slightly better.

🙋🏻‍♀️ADHD here too. I work as a specialist HCP in a very demanding front line department. My ADHD and hyperfocus were amazing during the pandemic as I could juggle with no problem the utter shitstorm that came our way.

Not so good when I’m not busy mind you…. I don’t do bored.

I work with a surprising number of highly skilled, highly educated brilliant medical professionals with an ADHD diagnosis. We’ve been lucky to find our niches where our ND brains have mostly been an advantage.

Anxiety and ADHD are closely linked: I would still consider a private ADHD assessment. I’m not saying that antidepressants don’t have their place in some people with ADHD but it might be that treatment for ADHD itself treats this issue more effectively and appropriately. My DS has ADHD as well. He had a lot of significant anxiety and separation anxiety: his meds have worked really well in helping him work through these issues. Game changer, really.

Best of luck!

@Champagneforeveryone please tell me your GP suggested referring to IAPT (NHS Talking Therapies) in addition to chucking pills at him? You can self refer and waiting times aside, it is very good for anxiety disorders as well as depression.

cassiusclay he was signposted to Steps to Well-being, not sure if they're similar? As it goes he's unlikely to do that because he Just. Won't. Do. It. <bangs head against wall>

As if to highlight the issues, DH forgot to attend his blood test and had to rearrange, yet we were 20 minutes early (I refused to leave any earlier) for our notoriously late running GP.