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Original poster

To go cold turkey from extended breastfeeding a 3 year old...tips and advice please ?

32 replies

mum2boys1504 · 03/04/2023 15:54

Hi , i am looking for mums experiences when they went cold turkey from nursing 2+ years (my LO IS 3.5 YEARS ) I would mainly like to know how quickly your child adapted , if they were upset for a while or dod they get over quite quickly. I really need to be done with it as my body is now suffering . I really don't want him 2 be upset. He mainly only nurses first thing in the morning (comes into my bed to get back 2 sleep ) which is something I really would like 2 change asap please only comment if you've been through this yourself.. thank you

OP posts:
Joddlebod · 03/04/2023 15:57

Hi, yes I went cold turkey as I had another baby and breast feeding both was a lot harder than expected. Distraction is key and wearing clothes so access is not easy. In the morning get up and go straight for breakfast maybe to break the routine for a few weeks. I think at 3.5 you
could gently explain as well. My little one soon got over it and it really was not as bad as expected. You will have tears but honestly a couple of days and it will be done with x

Wheretheskyisblue · 03/04/2023 15:58

I stopped BF my 3.5 year old a couple of months ago. When we stopped he was down to just a bedtime feed. I thought it would be really difficult but I explained there was no more milk and then distracted him with some books. He was absolutely fine and still settled to sleep well. I think I was more upset that he was because I had anticipated he would not take it so well.

GozerTheGozerian · 03/04/2023 16:01

I had this with my son. We stopped when he was 3 years 2 months old. By that time I was only feeding him at bedtime and if he was feeling unwell. I told him about it beforehand, we started a replacement routine with warm milk which my husband did. I didn’t do his bedtime
for a week or so after we stopped. I also chose to stop
at a time when we were busy with life so there were lots of distractions.

He was ok. I think I found it harder than him actually since he's my youngest and I knew it was the last time.

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Hatscats · 03/04/2023 16:04

At that age I would talk about it, make a plan for a date to stop, maybe read some books about it too - then distract and maybe a toy or activity of their choice in exchange?

Twizbe · 03/04/2023 16:35

Emma Pickett on Instagram has some great information about weaning older children.

There's a book about saying goodbye to mums milk that you can read together.

Bunnyhascovidnoteggs · 03/04/2023 16:39

Easter Bunny could bring extra treats for them now being a big dc that doesn't need your milk anymore.

Ime chocolate solves all.

ehb102 · 03/04/2023 16:53

Four year olds don't have Mummy milk in our house so we prepped and stopped the night before. There was five days of wailing a bit but I held firm. The birthday celebrations helped soothe the pain.

Original poster
mum2boys1504 · 03/04/2023 18:38

Thankyou. Never meant to breastfeed this long but he's so attached to it
Don't want to hurt the memory of it as its been lovely but definitely been 2 long but feel stuck as don't want him crying and feeling rejected x

OP posts:
Original poster
mum2boys1504 · 03/04/2023 18:42

Thankyou, for all the replies. I think it IS more me that's worried sometimes. Plus I worry he won't sleep in in the morning , he sleeps through until 5am then boobs till 7 am asleep. I also agree that cos he's probably my last baby that it's all but sad , but I also feel bit silly boobing him as he's such a big child now x

OP posts:
Ostryga · 03/04/2023 18:44

I bf Dd till she was 3.5 so I understand completely. I sat her down and told her that my milk had run out and we would buy her milk from the shop from now on.

There was tantrums for the first week (but easily distracted) and she was fine super quickly.

I think you’ll find he’ll cope a lot better than you! Kids are fickle creatures and he’ll forget far quicker than you will. Good luck!

Shutupyoutart · 03/04/2023 19:13

Yep breastfed my youngest til she was almost 3, I had to go cold turkey and act left for a few days also did this with Dd2 ds kind of weaned himself of it. When I came back she had largely forgotten about it tried to get it for the first night and I just kept saying I don't have any more, it was all gone I had ran out of milk. had that one rough night and that was it she just accepted it. She still sleeps in my bed in the middle of the night tho but that's a whole separate issue lol. Good luck op.

Okunevo · 03/04/2023 19:25

Can grandparents or other family take him for a week then the milk is 'gone' when he returns? Can his father wake up with him at 5am? Perhaps play/read quietly with him in his room then transition to playing or looking at books alone, with a clock to stay in his room until 6am. You need something to break his normal routine and transition to a new one.

DS weaned at just turned five, but he was skipping days from three, about once a week at the end, so it wasn't a habit the same. Your little one is not too old to be feeding, but if it isn't working for either of you anymore then it's absolutely fine to stop.

Original poster
mum2boys1504 · 07/04/2023 07:17

Bunnyhascovidnoteggs · 03/04/2023 16:39

Easter Bunny could bring extra treats for them now being a big dc that doesn't need your milk anymore.

Ime chocolate solves all.

This is what I am going to try ..guess I gotta be consistent he wakes at 5am only for boibs amd ots the only way he sleep in till 7 (which he needs) so I don't know how I'm gonna keep his sleep on track..? Thanks

OP posts:
Twizbe · 07/04/2023 07:21

You'll probably have a couple of nights of protest. Give a cuddle, rub their back etc but hold firm on not feeding.

Solasum · 07/04/2023 07:21

Let him into your bed as usual at
5am and give him milk in a sippy cup/drinks bottle instead. Part of the going back to sleep will be the warmth and cuddles.

LoveWillGetYouThere · 07/04/2023 07:26

mum2boys1504 · 03/04/2023 15:54

Hi , i am looking for mums experiences when they went cold turkey from nursing 2+ years (my LO IS 3.5 YEARS ) I would mainly like to know how quickly your child adapted , if they were upset for a while or dod they get over quite quickly. I really need to be done with it as my body is now suffering . I really don't want him 2 be upset. He mainly only nurses first thing in the morning (comes into my bed to get back 2 sleep ) which is something I really would like 2 change asap please only comment if you've been through this yourself.. thank you

My son was two and a half when we stopped. He only used to nurse for a short time in the evenings and in the mornings if we were cuddled up in bed. One day he tried and said 'all gone'. I tried to hand express and nothing came out. Seems like my milk gradually dried up as he wasn't taking much in. He tried again the following day and said 'all gone' again. After that if he wanted to nurse I just reminded him that my milk was all gone and distracted him. Good luck op x

BertieBotts · 07/04/2023 07:31

If you are only nursing first thing in the morning that should be easy to cut out. You just need to eliminate that cue of getting into bed and snuggling down.

Basically set an alarm so that you wake up before he does and get up and dressed first, so he can't find you in bed.

Consider wearing a nightie or PJ top that is not easily accessible, so that if he does get up early and climb into bed you can say "Not today, let's have a cuddle".

And I'd think of a different morning routine to replace it - maybe get up and have a nice breakfast ready, or a new toy, or put the TV on. If it's going to be a permanent change then pick something you're happy to repeat every day, not jam doughnuts or something! If you want to do something extra enticing at first to break the routine you could say it's an Easter special or something.

BertieBotts · 07/04/2023 07:33

Maybe Easter bunny could bring a Gro clock? You start it off to set them up for success say at 4:45 so that he gets the idea of only getting up when the sun is up. Then you move it later and later, when they get up when it's blue you just take them back to bed and pretend to be asleep.

Carsarelife · 07/04/2023 07:34

Depends on the child too I guess. First DC I just said it was broken, said mummy can't do it anymore, it's broken and she fully accepted it. I used to let some milk out in the shower with a warm flannel to stop engorgement as I was only feeding from the one breast too, DC was 2.5 years

Second DC not so easy and age 4. Tried to tell her it was broken but she wasn't having any of it and kept repeating that she wanted to try. In the end I had to put plasters over the nipple area so she could see it was broken. The first day went ok - lots of tears etc but the second day I was so engorged it was quite painful. DC asked still every day for about 2 weeks then stopped.

Original poster
mum2boys1504 · 07/04/2023 15:58

I think I'm just worried behaviour wise it will be hard..but it's half term and hoping he will adjust quickly. I just don't need him up from 5 am and getting overtired etc as we're already trying hard wit behaviours etc. I've told him the easter bunny is going to take the milk for the baby bunnies on Sunday, I've got him a special Easter gift set..then I just have to try not to give in. I just don't want him upset but it has to stop and I don't know why I feel like I am so resistant to stopping but at the same time feel its right to do. Thank u

OP posts:
Original poster
mum2boys1504 · 07/04/2023 16:00

Good idea. I tried to gro clock before but he kept stating at the blue light.. is there a way 2 take the blue light completely off at night ? Thank you

OP posts:
Original poster
mum2boys1504 · 07/04/2023 16:03

I could try . He still in my room ..do.you think putting him in his brothers room would help ? I really failed with him lol still co sleeps still boobs isn't in own room I guess cos he's my last one I'm more lazy , but he starts school September and need to stop and be in his own room. I'm worries he will wander around in his brothers rooms searching for my boobs /bed and wake his brother. X

OP posts:
Girasoli · 07/04/2023 16:49

You haven't failed with him, mine both breastfed and co-slept for ages too :)

You could try putting him in with his brother, my 3 year old wakes up early and the 6 year old sleeps through it. He'll probably find it really exciting sleeping in the big boy room.

I weaned DS2 just after his third birthday (with plenty of warning) and after a few teary days he was fine, he'd happily drink milk in a sippy cup as long as he was sat on my lap to do it.
You might find it tough though - I drank about 4 cups of peppermint tea a day for a good few weeks (It's meant to reduce your milk), and on particularly achy days also took piriton.

MyDarlingClementine · 07/04/2023 17:09

We did it when out of routine.
I think dh took her to see family for a night or we can sent away something like that then I just didn't offer.

She was quite lost at first and used to gently paw at my top... I felt v guilty but couldn't cope with it anymore. Definitely rhe right time to to stop but... It was definitely a loss to her as well.

CurlewKate · 07/04/2023 17:25

I explained that there was no more milk. She said "Can I just try?" I said sorry, no, and offered an alternative, can't remember what. She looked sad for a minute or two, then that was it. I think I was sadder than she was! (And I wasn't very sad.)

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