Autistic and can’t work but would like ideas of how to fill my time?

[furtheringeducation]

Once my youngest goes to school full time in September?

Im thinking about a OU course but is it worth it if it’s just for me and not towards a qualification specifically for a job but just something I enjoy ? Do they ever make you go in person or a it all done from home ?
Im also wondering about some DIY projects as I really enjoy this type of thing and the house does need a lot of work.

I don’t really leave the house much but can get into the garden although I know nothing about gardening at all. I just don’t want to do nothing I’d like to find some things to keep my mind active

As a society we think its ok to ask those who are neurodiverse to conform to a neurotypical world. Imagine if the reverse were true and we asked neurotypical individuals to conform to a neurodiverse world.
Those suggesting CBT on here need to stop and think. A therapy that tries to make those with autism neurotypical rather than accept their neurodiversity.
The level of disablism on this thread by some posters is shocking.

It is extremely challenging for many autistic adults to find work/stay in work because the masking and conforming is just too overwhelming. The job application process and the help offered by job centers to find work for those with autism is very poor.

I have an very academically able son in his twenties who is autistic. He cannot work due to extreme social anxiety.
In fact he isn't on PIP or doesn't seek much needed medical help. Speaking on a phone for him like many with autism is overwhelming.

And no @Nimbostratus100 if we can learn from home it doesn't mean we can work from home.
https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/news/new-data-on-the-autism-employment-gap
The Office for National Statistics (ONS) has published new data that shows just 22% of autistic adults are in any kind of employment.

I suggest watching the Chris Packham mentioned on this thread for those who would like to understand autism better. This free open university course is also brilliant
https://www.open.edu/openlearn/science-maths-technology/understanding-autism/content-section-overview?

furtheringeducation Good luck in whatever study/ hobby you take on. Gardening sounds like a brilliant plan. It certainly helps my wellbeing to get out in the garden.

Yes @teacakie

And then this is dressed up as "it's good to have robust discussion".

For what other disabilities are people expected to have to "robustly discuss" and justify their disability?

It isn't a "discussion". It's ableism. And no wonder so many autistic people withdraw from society entirely, or still face stigma if they venture to try to engage, when they are faced with this kind of disgusting behaviour even if they dare to venture onto an internet forum let alone the world of work.

Armchair scientists without the faintest clue about autism or science for that matter giving their "opinion" that we must all tolerate apparently even if it directly contradicts scientific, peer reviewed research. Because who needs experts, eh? 🙄 That diagnoses are handed out like sweets despite years long battles and in depth assessments. That because some of us can mask we must all be fiiiiiiine.

Obviously do not expect everybody to be knowledgeable about it, but how is it ok to make discriminatory comments about a protected characteristic that are factually wrong, when you know nothing about the topic? Or indeed attack any poster directly and derail their thread, even if they were not vulnerable?

I'd love to know what Mumsnet will do about it. But I'm sure as usual the answer will be tumbleweed. A very good first step would be removing aforementioned series of threads about reinforcing discriminatory stereotypes by attributing shit behaviour from awful husbands to autism when the majority of said husbands haven't been diagnosed eith autism at all. Imagine if somebody said such things about people of a particular race?! How long would that thread stand? But with autism apparently it's fine, just carry on, nothing to see here.

Won't hold my breath.

All extremely depressing tbh.

And @teacakie there has been a disturbing increase in such threads in recent weeks: two or three a week now that I've spotted, where the sole purpose seems to be to argue that autistic people don't deserve support. Or only if they are non-verbal and also have learning disabilities. That diagnoses are wrong/ fake, that we should all just shut up and pretend to be NT and get on with it. There seems to be a deluge of this stuff on here recently, not sure why, but Mumsnet seem to have no intention of doing anything about it.

Anyway OP I'm sorry again. Not what this thread is for.

"You can write and post on the internet so you're fine." 🙄🙄🙄🙄

I don't have enough time left in the rest of my life to say "fuck off" enough times to those posters even if I spent every day on it.

And FWIW I do work. And earn very well. But these fucking idiots will never understand the toll that takes, the damage it has done, or that every day I am terrified how much longer I can sustain this and provide for my children.

And that in no way means that the many of my autistic friends who cannot do this at all are "a lost cause" or have no value or just need to try harder.

This thread has made me so upset, I have to go now.

Sending love to OP. Definitely get some plants for your garden now the weather is improving! Dahlias are fantastic to plant once all risk of frost is gone and will flower until Oct/ Nov if you can keep slugs off them and deadhead them. So many beautiful colours and crazy shapes.

A couple of examples. 🌸🌼

Typical mumsnet, presumptuously answering a question the OP didn't ask in the guise of 'trying to help' when they're doing anything but.

Anyway, OP @furtheringeducation I second crochet and sewing if you're able to and enjoy them. Life is complicated for autistic people and only those who live it will truly understand how complex it is and can be for different people. It can't be explained fully to someone else.

I love learning for learning sake, it's the best form of learning for me and it happens everywhere and anytime. Definitely not depressing, like a pp wrote. Quite the contrary.

Just do what you can when you can, OP because some of us know how extremely damaging (and life threatening) it is to do more than that 💐

memesndmoreme · Today 14:06

Why are you talking about agoraphobia? The op is autistic so if she has agoraphobia she has autism on top which must be horrendous to manage.

Sorry OP, too busy getting annoyed with ignorant posters to make my own suggestions!

So... this may not be your thing, but have you thought about keeping some small animals? My DD had guinea pigs that she cleaned out, groomed and and fed, and made exciting runs for them in the garden, joining various runs and cages together with big bendy tubes, ramps etc.
Rabbits and chickens are also fun to keep, and 'outside'. Chickens have the added bonus of free eggs! 🐔

@furtheringeducation - hope you’re doing ok and are able to ignore some of the uneducated responses on this thread.

There have been some good suggestions re online learning etc - I’ve taken a few screenshots to maybe look into myself in the future. I’m going to focus on a couple of things for enjoyment rather than learning.

With regards to gardening, I am not very good at it and am also more of a fair weather gardener, which can be a bit of a problem in our climate 🤣. The one thing I’ve enjoyed is growing roses. My front garden now has lots of shrub roses and a few standards. The great thing about them is that they all need the same care at the same time (prune/feed/mulch late Feb/early March and then feed/mulch after their first blooms of the year (usually early/mid July for me). The rest of the flowering season is keeping on top of the deadheading. The garden is filled with lovely scent during the summer and it’s very satisfying seeing them all in bloom. David Austin website has tonnes of great information and tips, makes it really easy to work out what would do well in the conditions of your garden.

I am not crafty at all, am terrible at drawing, painting, knitting etc. I discovered diamond painting, which satisfies my crafting urge. It’s great having something fun that occupies my time when the weather is miserable. I’ll have the radio on in the background and get lost in concentrating on my canvas. I get mine from Victoria’s Moon, they are good quality and they regularly have three-for-two offers on. You can choose from a wide selection of stock images that they have. Or you can send them your favourite photos and they’ll create the canvas for you to work on. I’ve had a few friends ask me to do pictures of their pets, they’ve loved the end results. I’ve attached a few examples for you of some of the stuff I’ve done (they obviously look better once framed!). The first three are a selection of their stock images, the final two are created from photos of pets. They also do easier kits for kids, maybe it’s something that your daughter would enjoy doing with you?

Hello OP, you sound lovely and I hope you have found some useful ideas in here. Would it be helpful to have/do activities which could contribute towards your self care and contribute to personal growth?

Gardening has been mentioned a lot and it can be rewarding to see the gradual growth from seed.

Getting outdoors - so many studies on the benefits of so-called green and/or blue therapy.

Exercise could even be walking or a couch to 5 k. I’ve joined a local group that basically is there to support people wanting to get out and walk/run; conversation optional but it’s helped me to make sure I get out twice a week. I’ve enjoyed seeing what my body can achieve and have become more accustomed and comfortable in the group.

Learning music - mentally quite challenging, well at least for me but a slow process of growth which I enjoy as lifelong learning is something I value.

I love cooking and during lockdown committed to trying a new recipe every two weeks.

Are there any community projects? This could be a short term commitment. Some I have been engaged in allowed me to be quietly competent, plugging away at an aspect of something larger. I needed short term as longer would be too much to handle so it became a balance of wants and needs.

could you just make a list of all of the things that peak your interest? No matter how bizarre or far fetched. It’s a great place to start and to set the mental discussion rolling. Then commit to an item for a period of 2-3 months and explore it. Sometimes let go of seeking perfection and just embrace the journey. Just try things.

Also, David Austin currently have 15% of all roses with the code PILGRIM - until 18 April in case anyone is looking for roses at the moment.

My asd child enjoys diamond art. But the use of all the plastic makes me uncomfortable because it must be so bad for the environment.

What do you think about that? I'd be interested in your opinion.

@Nimbostratus100

You work with asd children.

Are you autistic yourself?

All that plastic is in my home, not in landfill. I don’t have kids, haven’t travelled overseas in over seven years, I recycle and I only drive when necessary. So I think my carbon footprint is good enough to have a hobby that I enjoy.

You can't limit yourself like this, this poster is a mother, refusing contact with the outside world is unacceptable in a mother, and severely damaging for their children.

Yeah that terribly unacceptable disorder known as agoraphobia.

Perhaps the OP should've chosen to have a different one 🙄

I did miss the school run, not the cliques but seeing them off and seeing them run to be at the end of the day.

Your right thats why I no longer work full time and have a lovely home/life balance.

@Nimbostratus100

OP is disabled

You don't get to decide what is best for her or her DC. You have a small snippet of their lives, don't presume to know better then her.

Thank you, I really appreciate that

@Nimbostratus100 I agree. I couldn't find the correct way of phrasing it. But your spot on.

No, it doesn’t.

If you are claiming the statistic posted isn’t relevant (and I disagree with you on that) this article from Foundations for People with Learning Disabilities states only around 15% of those with Asperger syndrome (i.e. those without a co-morbid learning disability and no language delay) are in employment. And this Goldsmith’s university article states around 80% of those with Asperger syndrome haven’t secured long term employment.

Yeah. As ableism goes...

CBT can and does help agoraphobia and social anxiety. Before you come back about autism, I am talking about the social anxiety.

As the agoraphobia and social anxiety is in the same person with autism, the autism disorder in her can and does prevent the agoraphobia/Social anxiety treatment from being effective and this can damage or affect her 'autistically'. She cannot separate herself into person with agoraphobia and person with autism.

Do you think OP would just take her autism off and pip it in the cupboard for the session?