Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Autistic and can’t work but would like ideas of how to fill my time?

363 replies

furtheringeducation · 02/04/2023 08:34

Once my youngest goes to school full time in September?

Im thinking about a OU course but is it worth it if it’s just for me and not towards a qualification specifically for a job but just something I enjoy ? Do they ever make you go in person or a it all done from home ?
Im also wondering about some DIY projects as I really enjoy this type of thing and the house does need a lot of work.

I don’t really leave the house much but can get into the garden although I know nothing about gardening at all. I just don’t want to do nothing I’d like to find some things to keep my mind active

OP posts:
Thread gallery
39
MynameisJune · 02/04/2023 18:59

furtheringeducation · 02/04/2023 18:22

Thank you for all the kind and helpful suggestions. I’m definitely going to do some gardening as I think I’d find it interesting plus it will be nice to have the garden looking better for summer.
im tempted as well by the idea to get a pet .

For the less kind responses o really feel the need to explain about my children as a couple of people have questioned the level of care I can offer due to not going out /socialising .

On the 2 days my youngest is with the childminder they go to some nice groups or trips plus school runs. At weekends dh takes the dc out. Very occasionally I will manage to go it’s not often but we always makes sure to take a photo which we put on our photo wall- this is so the dc see on a daily basis reminders of time with me outside the home . There’s only about 4 photos from the last 18 months but it’s still a reminder which I thought would help.
I make sure I do nice activities at home with them, bedtime stories each night etc and they are happy and i don’t think that it’s even crossed their minds about me not going out

My husband works away, including the weekends often. So it’s largely the kids and I, they’ve never known any different. I very much doubt your kids will realise the difference either.

If you want to try meds/therapy or whatever then do it for you, not because anyone on the internet infers you need to or that your children are suffering.

Nepmarthiturn · 02/04/2023 19:11

As a society we think its ok to ask those who are neurodiverse to conform to a neurotypical world. Imagine if the reverse were true and we asked neurotypical individuals to conform to a neurodiverse world.

This is so true @taeglas and I think the world would actually be a significantly better place pretty damn quickly if you put ND people in charge of everything! Can you imagine how it would transform the way Governments operate? We'd have evidence-based policies. Disbanding pointless bureaucracy so resources used efficiently, rational discussions in international relations, detailed plans instead of absurd slogans, people willing to consider information and adjust their views based on merit rather than how they feel about a topic and goodbye to simplistic slogans, prioritisation of issues based on how important they actually are and the impact they will have (what a novel concept!!!) and I daresay a far greater level of respect and compassion in public policy and discourse.

And of course, an absolute ban on flourescent lighting. 🤣

One can dream...

These are vast oversimplifications and generalisations lf course, but it would be interesting if it could ever happen. The world would be a very different place, and far better in my view. But then, I would say that...

May start a thread on this as a hypothetical thought experiment at some point. Fascinating idea. But sorry OP, yet another digression to apologise for! I think I am just trying to avoid tidying up and the trauma of bathtime for two autistic children. 🤣

@furtheringeducation I hope the nasty posters have now found something bettet to do and that you'll come back and post and update or photos of whatever projects/ crafts/ gardening etc you get up to. Perhaps we can turn the thread around and make it into a supportive place for autistic people to post things they have been doing that have brought them some joy.

Nepmarthiturn · 02/04/2023 19:13

Sorry this part:

As a society we think its ok to ask those who are neurodiverse to conform to a neurotypical world. Imagine if the reverse were true and we asked neurotypical individuals to conform to a neurodiverse world.

was meant to be in bold, was quoting and earlier poster.

taeglas · 02/04/2023 19:16

Thanks @evilharpy
auticon sounds amazing and just what I have been looking for. To those who recommended venlafaxine thank you I will ask my son's GP if it might help him with his anxiety.

@furtheringeducation you sound like an amazing parent. Your children are very lucky to have such a caring parent.

Blu3Salv1a · 02/04/2023 19:20

I’ve fallen down a real rabbit hole
with gardening, it’s addictive. I grow veg, fruit and flowers. Really helps with anxiety sowing seeds and potting on.Cross stitch is good, you can get some nice modern ones, jigsaws etc. Reading I love. Cooking….

Nepmarthiturn · 02/04/2023 19:31

Blu3Salv1a · 02/04/2023 19:20

I’ve fallen down a real rabbit hole
with gardening, it’s addictive. I grow veg, fruit and flowers. Really helps with anxiety sowing seeds and potting on.Cross stitch is good, you can get some nice modern ones, jigsaws etc. Reading I love. Cooking….

Same! Have had to ban myself from the Farmer Gracy website. 🤣🤣

Also @furtheringeducation I don't know how old your children are (sorry if I missed this and you said) but mine absolutely love getting involved in it. Not in any of the hard wirk of course. 😆 But planting bulbs and then seeing them grow into flowers, they love. My daughter goes and sings to the plants she has planted to make them grow (actually seems to work as her ones grow bigger!!). They love picking fruits in the garden to eat, too. It would be a lovely thing you can do with your children if they are interested. You don't have to go out with them to have really special quality time with them that they will love and remember.

Blu3Salv1a · 02/04/2023 19:35

Ditto. I’m addicted to seed catalogues ( Chiltern, Sarah Raven…)and dahlias, David Austin rose catalogue😍…

Nepmarthiturn · 02/04/2023 19:36

There's also a great app I have called SmartPlant. You can add the plants you have to it and it will then produce a list for you each month of what each one needs you to do: pruning, more watering, fertilising etc. For someone who is a novice, with executive function issues, this made me so incredibly happy as I can just work through the list and tick them off in the app as I go. It's awesome.

Nepmarthiturn · 02/04/2023 19:37

Blu3Salv1a · 02/04/2023 19:35

Ditto. I’m addicted to seed catalogues ( Chiltern, Sarah Raven…)and dahlias, David Austin rose catalogue😍…

It's so easy to go crazy and run out of space to plant stuff! Then started buying pots... 🫣🤣

Blu3Salv1a · 02/04/2023 19:39

Oh my goodness me too! Trying to work out how to shoehorn in some container raspberry bushes and a container cherry tree.🤣

Nepmarthiturn · 02/04/2023 19:41

Oh also @furtheringeducation one thing I have been doing recently that's brought me a lot of peace is building the lego world map. Somehow I can clear my mind when focusing on that and simply following the instructions. It's the largest lego kit ever by number of pieces, it is basically painting by numbers but with lego dots.

Nepmarthiturn · 02/04/2023 19:43

Blu3Salv1a · 02/04/2023 19:39

Oh my goodness me too! Trying to work out how to shoehorn in some container raspberry bushes and a container cherry tree.🤣

🤣🤣🤣

You are me! I now have a peach tree, olive trees, a cherry tree in pots. Managed to find a spot for raspberry canes and also a redcurrant bush because smallest troublemaker became obsessed with them and they are so expensive from the supermarket!

Nepmarthiturn · 02/04/2023 19:44

Oh, and the lemon tree and lime tree. Which have to be accommodated in the living room over winter. 🫣😆😆

taeglas · 02/04/2023 19:45

I think the world would actually be a significantly better place pretty damn quickly if you put ND people in charge of everything! Can you imagine how it would transform the way Governments operate? We'd have evidence-based policies. Disbanding pointless bureaucracy so resources used efficiently, rational discussions in international relations, detailed plans instead of absurd slogans, people willing to consider information and adjust their views based on merit rather than how they feel about a topic and goodbye to simplistic slogans, prioritisation of issues based on how important they actually are and the impact they will have (what a novel concept!!!) and I daresay a far greater level of respect and compassion in public policy and discourse.

And of course, an absolute ban on flourescent lighting. 🤣

One can dream...

These are vast oversimplifications and generalisations lf course, but it would be interesting if it could ever happen. The world would be a very different place, and far better in my view. But then, I would say that...

May start a thread on this as a hypothetical thought experiment at some point. Fascinating idea.

@Nepmarthiturn sounds like a brilliant idea for a thread.

Just a though to those of you who found lockdown living tricky this is only a tiny insight into the reality of daily life for many on the autistic spectrum.

Nepmarthiturn · 02/04/2023 19:50

Right, off to bathtime hell. Pray for me autistic parents of autistic children who will understand what I mean. 🤣

But will check back in later. Some lovely people on this thread and I hope it hasn't been ruined for OP and can be turned into something positive as originally intended, whatever it is that is making autistic people happy and fulfilled. 🌸🌼🌹🍋🍇🍒🐶🐱🐰🧘‍♀️🤸‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️📖✂️🔭🎹🎻🎺

yano · 02/04/2023 19:58

If any of you have tips for places to find out how to start with gardening I'd love to hear them - I have no idea what I'm doing!

I've done various courses free or low cost on Udemy in things that interest me, and I really recommend learning to play an instrument (or several, if you're anything like me)! You can do it with video courses at your own pace, and it's a real sense of achievement when you realise you've improved!

Nepmarthiturn · 02/04/2023 20:02

If any of you have tips for places to find out how to start with gardening I'd love to hear them - I have no idea what I'm doing!

The SmartPlant app helped me no end!

Nepmarthiturn · 02/04/2023 20:04

Think I went slightly mad with the tulips. My favourite spring flower. I hadn't realised but in the end we planted around 1500 bulbs!!

itsgettingweird · 02/04/2023 20:13

If you like DIY could you start a small business painting/ doing up furniture?

Or making cakes? Flower arranging?

Or anything arty or skilled (if you have the skills? - I certainly don't 🤣)

How about proofreading if your English is very good? Especially if you have an eye for detail and spotting mistakes and are very rule based re grammar etc?

Or yes - distance learning. You could even find something like bookkeeping if you fancy WFH in the future?

Or learn about gardening and start doing that?

Nepmarthiturn · 02/04/2023 20:13

Some examples of what can be done even by a total novice.

Autistic and can’t work but would like ideas of how to fill my time?
Autistic and can’t work but would like ideas of how to fill my time?
Autistic and can’t work but would like ideas of how to fill my time?
itsgettingweird · 02/04/2023 20:14

Although book keeping may not be for you if you have duscalcula. It depends which part of maths you struggle with.

Nepmarthiturn · 02/04/2023 20:14

...

Autistic and can’t work but would like ideas of how to fill my time?
Autistic and can’t work but would like ideas of how to fill my time?
Autistic and can’t work but would like ideas of how to fill my time?
Nepmarthiturn · 02/04/2023 20:15

...

Autistic and can’t work but would like ideas of how to fill my time?
Autistic and can’t work but would like ideas of how to fill my time?
Autistic and can’t work but would like ideas of how to fill my time?
Nepmarthiturn · 02/04/2023 20:18

...

Autistic and can’t work but would like ideas of how to fill my time?
Autistic and can’t work but would like ideas of how to fill my time?
Autistic and can’t work but would like ideas of how to fill my time?
stripeypetunias · 02/04/2023 20:19

@Nepmarthiturn these look stunning!!