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Original poster

Confused- message from ex’s mum

33 replies

Reds8 · 02/04/2023 00:41

I’m really confused and not sure what to do or think.
Me and my ex split a year and half ago, he has since moved on (I assume happily) He had no interest in me or my kids, he had more interest in my dog. Randomly this evening, I receive a message from his mum with a picture and then a message saying “just want to wish the girls a happy Easter. Good memories”.

Not sure what to do….. not even sure if my ex knows she’s messaged me

Do I be polite and reply thanks or just ignore?

OP posts:
Whatisthisanyidea · 02/04/2023 00:43

So a woman you know wishes your kids happy Easter? Just message back ‘and a happy Easter to you too!’

PussBilledDuckyPlait · 02/04/2023 00:44

Whatisthisanyidea · 02/04/2023 00:43

So a woman you know wishes your kids happy Easter? Just message back ‘and a happy Easter to you too!’

Yep!

RachelGreensHair · 02/04/2023 00:46

Is she their grandma? Even if she isn't, she obviously misses them and it's a nice harmless message.

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Relationship problems
xPaz · 02/04/2023 00:46

I agree, just reply ''and a Happy Easter to you too, thank you for reaching out, good to hear from you xx''

SpinningFloppa · 02/04/2023 00:47

I don't understand why you are confused

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 02/04/2023 00:47

Just wish her a Happy Easter too. No need for all the drama…

RestingRulers · 02/04/2023 00:49

How long were you with your ex? Are they his kids? Unless there is a big backstory I’d assume she wanted to say hello and wish you all happy Easter.

Id reply in a similar way.

Whattt44 · 02/04/2023 00:49

SpinningFloppa · 02/04/2023 00:47

I don't understand why you are confused

I don't either, she's just being nice! Why does everything have to be a drama?

shieldmaiden7 · 02/04/2023 00:52

I'm confused as to why your confused.
She's only wishing you a happy Easter. I would simply reply, happy Easter to you too, hope you're keeping well x.

Aylestone · 02/04/2023 00:52

SpinningFloppa · 02/04/2023 00:47

I don't understand why you are confused

Because an old exes mother text her about her kids a year and a half after her son had left her, and he has absolutely no interest in her kids? I’d be confused as hell, and I’d probably be wondering if she’d mistaken me for another one of his exes who had kids that they’d cared about. If I wanted anything to do with them I’d play it safe by responding happy easter, otherwise I’d just ignore them.

Dillydollydingdong · 02/04/2023 00:58

Maybe the ex's mum liked the OP, was sad when they split up and still has goodwill towards the OP. I think it's a lovely thing to do.

Meandfour · 02/04/2023 00:59

“Thank you, happy Easter to you too”

Job done.

Notimeforaname · 02/04/2023 01:57

Its grand like. Text back if you want, don't if you don't.

Original poster
Reds8 · 02/04/2023 02:00

Thank you @Aylestone , you’re the only
one who seen my side.
We’d been together 7 years, no kids together ( he didn’t want anymore and mentally fucked me into having an abortion) but he also didn’t bond with my kids. Very turbulent relationship and completely separate lives. Relationship ended and all he wanted was contact with seeing my dog, no questions about my kids. I’d come to terms with being just me and my kids and he had moved on too.
I was just asking advice as to what to do as I’m not very good with making decisions. I feel as though I shouldn’t of asked now

OP posts:
Original poster
Reds8 · 02/04/2023 02:03

@Dillydollydingdong maybe, but does my ex know his mums messaged me? Is he happy in his current relationship? I don’t want to get back involved and be left with more heartache.
For reference, I’m happier being single than in that relationship, it was very toxic

OP posts:
DoggoCEO · 02/04/2023 02:10

I wouldn’t reply. It could be an innocent message or there could be a reason for her getting in touch, an issue with your ex or something. There’s no value to you in replying so don’t bother.

MrsOrange · 02/04/2023 02:14

Given a photo attached, I’m going with her phone popped up a memory and she had a brief bout of nostalgia. She impulsively sent a message. Sometimes things are really as shallow as that. Ignore or generically reply, then move on.

HamBone · 02/04/2023 02:16

Did you get on well with her? Was she caring towards your children? If so, she probably misses you and your children.

If not, then it’s abit odd. I’d still reply “Happy Easter!” and leave it there.

EasterEggBunny · 02/04/2023 02:16

Don't reply. He's toxic and could have put his mum up to doing it. He could be sensing how you've mentally moved on and be trying to reel you back. Look how much emotional energy you've invested in thinking about him/his family due to this text. I hope you haven't been giving him contact time with your dog?! He's got no rights to that. I'd suspect the dog and possibly the text is a way of keeping a foot in the door of your life, maybe as a way of keeping you as a fallback plan or just because he likes toying with your emotions.

Or maybe she was drunk texting, scrolling her photos and feeling sentimental due to alcohol.

You don't owe her a reply. It doesn't seem as though she was close to your DC or you close to her. Best to keep her at arm's length given the toxicity of your ex and the heartbreak you went through with your abortion. Protect your well-being and the life you've created for yourselves, don't give toxic people or their hangers-on a foothold. I'd block her number so you can't receive any more texts from her.

Original poster
Reds8 · 02/04/2023 02:31

@HamBone its very hard. When we were together (with his family) he was very different. His family were amazing, loving and very caring towards me and my kids, we were able to experience so many more holidays and days out etc, but I just feel
as though my ex was using me for housing (he still lived at his parents) and childcare whenever he wanted to go out or work weekends, I was left looking after his kid, which wasn’t an issue accept any time he had free time he’d spend it with him
and his child not as a family.
I think I mentally left the relationship a good 6 months before I asked him to move out.
He was a total big kid! The final straw was when I was at home looking after the kids and he came home from a weekday night out absolutely bollocked and piss all over my radiator.

OP posts:
SandyY2K · 02/04/2023 02:37

A simple response of thanks and same to you will suffice.

She doesn't need her son's permission to message you. It doesn't matter if he knows or not really.

I get that a 1½ is a surprise... but that's it.

SandyY2K · 02/04/2023 02:38

*1½ later

EssexMamisoa · 02/04/2023 03:31

Ignore. She’s not part of your life anymore. She knows that so no need for her to text

Whatisthisanyidea · 02/04/2023 04:12

Thank you @Aylestone you’re the only one who seen my side*

What? Then you aren’t confused and you know that you don’t want to reply!! Problem solved!!

Original poster
Reds8 · 02/04/2023 04:49

@Whatisthisanyidea? I thought this page was where to come for advice and guidance. Obviously not!
Clearly you’ve never been in a situation where it’s thrown you a bit and your not quite sure what to think.

OP posts: