Pearl Clutching

[Fluffodils]

I guess some would say I'm clutching my pearls about this but I HATE the term Pearl Clutching. It just feels like it's loaded and sexist and used to shut women down when they are uncomfortable with something

😳

I know what thread you mean, and I agree. It's used on here to insult people with a different opinion to you as the terminally ignorant can't understand that because they think cheap, self-published porn "novels" are cool, others don't.

It's used all over the place on here when porn and sex is discussed. It feels so dismissive.

Oh FFS - the reference to pearls is not directed specifically at all women, it’s directed at a specific type of person, with the pearls signifying the middle class, ostentatious respectability that prompts faux outrage about other people’s lives.

Our language has always come up with idioms to describe broader concepts as a shorthand for something everyone understands. This is no different.

But its not Faux Outrage. People are genuinely outraged/uncomfortable with something.

You need to read the thread that's being referred to in this context tbf.
Women (presumably) accusing other women of pearl clutching because porn does no harm even if it's the sexualisation of schoolgirls.

It’s ageist as well. Twinset and pearls anyone……

Then perhaps @Fluffodils can reference what thread she's referring to
We are not mind readers
I've only seen it in a piss taking way

I have seen it on a recent thread but this was more about the term generally. It is used a lot on here, on threads about porn and sex usually. To tell people they are being silly it seems. Just because they aren't as liberal as others.

Doesn’t matter.

The term is a reference to a particular type of behaviour. Our language has lots of those sort of terms.

We shouldn’t be prevented from calling out toxic masculinity just because some will (falsely) claim that it’s misandrist.

Incidentally I would also use the term pearl clutching to describe idiotic ‘think of the children’ type men. Helen Lovejoys come in all genders.

Well yes. People are entitled to tell people that they consider their views silly or unreasonable.

If you have a problem with that then it sounds like you have a problem with discussion of your views.

Can't they just say "I think that's unreasonable" or "thats silly" becuase xyz why use such a weird phrase clearly meant to be an insult of some kind

Who is Helen lovejoy

I agree. You don't often see men accused of pearl clutching whatever their views.
I don't think I ever heard of the term before I joined MN.

It’s an idiom that has been in common use for decades.

If you’re ok with someone saying your view is silly, why is it problematic if they convey the same meaning through a common idiom?

I have accused my DH as pearl clutching.
He was being over dramatic at the teen of the house wearing a skirt. A midi skirt.

I use it when someone is being, to be frank narrow minded, ridiculous and old fashioned. Usually when someone is trying to moderate by "morals".

You may not like the term but it's probably better they say that then say something really "out" there to get a rise out of you because your reaction will kinda prove their point

If you don’t want people using that phrase then we need to stop clutching our pearls. Simple!

Fluffodills, Don't know if you noticed but I was told to " put the pearls down " on my thread 😬

The outrage may be genuine in some cases, however people clearly disagree that it is, hence the term

and
"won't somebody think of the children"

And you'd be absolutely right.

When someone uses the terms won’t someone think of the children or pearl clutching I immediately think that they are just using a cheap shot to shut down and silence anyone with values that differ from their own.

The idiom is usually only aimed at women. As an insult.

I don't even own Pearls

Ridiculous. Could have easily said "I disagree because xyz" rather than bring the stupid pearls into it.

Yes this