Pearl Clutching

[Fluffodils]

I guess some would say I'm clutching my pearls about this but I HATE the term Pearl Clutching. It just feels like it's loaded and sexist and used to shut women down when they are uncomfortable with something

It is absolutely an ageist and sexist term. Just because it's been around a long time doesn't make it OK. That's a really weak argument.

Nope - it is often used against men too. I use it myself against men. David Quinn in Ireland (perennial anti-everything dude) is a good example.

Of course if you only see the term on mumsnet, then obviously it will be mainly directed at women by women because of the nature of the site.

No, it hasn't.
Used as a sexist, misogynist term, it first appeared about 15 years ago.

AS shows you're very fond of using it @TeaKlaxon unsurprisingly.
Maybe you should educate yourself.

Changing the topic slightly.. I have some gorgeous pearls - a necklace and earrings which I do not dare to wear anymore as I feel they age and categorise you.. and I am already ageing !

That's just not correct.

Using the term pearl clutching to describe people who sit in judgment about other people's moral or personal choices has been used since at least the 1980s.

It means different things to different people. To me, Pearl Clutching means women being derogatory about other women because the have different values which are equally valid.

Can't get worked up about it tbh

I agree with you, OP. The fact that a term is very occasionally used about men doesn't mean it isn't gendered. It's used on here as a way of dismissing women's concerns by appeal to a particular sexist and ageist stereotype.

Nonsense.

To be a sexist stereotype, people who use the term pearl clutching would need to be relying on a view that women as a whole are prudish or performatively moralising.

I certainly don't think that is the case.

That's not right. A term can be sexist without the people using it thinking all women share the negative attribute. For example, the term "bimbo" is sexist even though people who use it don't necessarily believe all women are stupid. It's linking the negative attribute to sex (through use of a gendered term) that makes it sexist.

I'm referring to the use of the word stereotype.

To be a sexist stereotype, it would imply a view about the behaviour of women in general. I've never met anyone who uses the term 'pearl clutching' who thinks women in general are judgmental and moralising.

No, that's not right. A stereotype can be sexist without applying to every member of a sex class. The pearl-clutching, moralising older woman and the blonde bimbo are both sexist stereotypes. Stereotypes, because they are oversimplified images of a particular type of person. Sexist, because they link the negative traits of that oversimplified image with the person's sex.

Ok so maybe it's not a stereotype. But it's a gendered insult. Like "bitch"

I see what you mean OP, but for myself I'm inclined to embrace it.

I love pearls (see my username), and wear them. And probably clutch them.

I agree that porn is harmful. I'm happy to be called a pearl clutcher, and quite content to be thought of as old-fashioned/uptight/unadventurous. I don't care at all if this is how others see me.

I agree with you OP. Like 'Karen' and 'hysterical'. Used to mean shut up woman who isn't a compliant aka young handmaiden, I disagree with your opinion.

No. It's nothing like that.

It is an idiom that conveys a particular shorthand view of someone's views or actions.

And it's entirely fair to be critical of those views or actions where they meet the definition of pearl clutching.

@hourbyhour101 I’m intrigued. Was the teen about to go skydiving or something, or go to an event that said “Skirts Strictly Forbidden”? I can’t think what his objection could be!

She was going to school disco.

In fairness she has suddenly kinda transformed from awkward teenager into a beautiful young lady. And I think in that moment DH got a bit of a shock.

He said later he expected his little girl to come down the stairs and down came a fully fledged young women. She looked lovely. I think it was just a shock. She's usually dressed quite causally.

He did admit he was acting ridiculously latterly and he apologised to her.
😩