Why do some people get names wrong constantly?

[Fluffodils]

I have a relative and everytime she will get someone's name wrong it sticks, no matter how often she is corrected.

So Lauren is called Laura each time even when we correct her. And then Samara is Samantha.

Everytime. Is this just a thing where she's decided she doesn't like the person's real name?! Or is it a thing where the first name has just permanently etched itself on her brain?

Like not bashing her. Just wondering if it's a thing.

They don't think about other people enough. It's selfishness.

Rudeness. My name is frequently butchered. 99% of people are mortified if they get it wrong and always get it right thereafter.

1% laugh it off like it's a quirky characteristic. 'Oh aren't I silly, I do this every time, well that's just me, deal with it' sort of thing.

Someone's name is THE most personal, yet basic thing you need to know about a person. Lack of effort to get it right speaks volumes about them.

Could she possibly have a problem with her hearing?

I think it depends on the person, and the error. There’s one guy at my work who keeps repeatedly addressing me by the wrong name, even in emails where he’s replying to me, I’ve signed my name, and our email addresses start with our initial. He also likes not replying to me promptly even when he responds to others. It’s a power thing.

There’s also a woman whose variant spelling I keep getting wrong. Think Eveline who I keep typing Evelyn when I message her. Because I know an Evelyn from my hobby so when I think of the name, I start typing the one I know. But then I catch the mistake and apologise!

In your instance I’d think, what is she like the rest of the time? Is she usually a selfish person, or a scatty person?

I have a name that frequently said incorrectly.

Annoying, it’s pronounced EXACTLY as it’s spelt and is a name from a popular play.

When people say it wrong I ignore them. If they want to engage with me they can use my name.

Continuing to use the wrong name despite being corrected is rude. Someone who does this isn’t a friend.

I am sorry but I might be one of those people. Every time people tell me their name my mind just goes blank. It's almost like whitenoise. I am not trying to be disrespectful like some people are trying to suggest on here!

So over the years I've develop other coping mechanisms. When people tell me their name I try to make a story about the name and that way it sticks better. i.e. I have to go to substantially more effort than other people to just remember a name. Especially if this name is VERY COMMON!

I think some people's brains are wired differently and why would someone deliberately try to create awkwardness for themselves!

There is a few people in life that my brain has renamed, it’s not intentional. I try hard to get it right, two in particular went on for years.

Yes its like this I think! They are names that come up regularly in conversation so it just seems she has a mental block of some kind. Hearing fine. Doesn't seem "ditzy" in any way.

I have a name that people get wrong daily/every time i meet someone. It's irritating but understandable.

But I am hopeless with names these days and cannot recall them or cannot get pronunciation right. I really try but often get in more of a muddle stressing about it and end up saying different versions, because i am absolutely blank on which is the right one. It's really embarrassing. I have a friend who picks me up on it and that helps if i can have a clear instruction.

It sounds rude and awful, but I am trying. I have had to give up on correcting my own name, because I can't reciprocate.

@MissLucyLiu Thats really interesting thanks.

I'm male apparently, can't remember the last time someone actually called me by my name (the female version)
Friend sent me this the other day. I'm correcting every single person that gets it wrong and am about this close (imagine a cm!) from changing my name

@PaperBlinds Do you find that's the same even if you've spoken to a person many times before? I'm guilty myself of not getting a person's name right after one introduction- I have social anxiety and I think all the other details of the conversation take over my Brain.

My mum was the world’s worst for this. She went through everybody’s name til she found the right one. Even the dog. 😀
Ive started now. If they have the same letter or sound alike then I’m more likely to do it. Old age maybe.

Yes, I have a friend who mispronounces both people names and business names. The way she says them is phonically reasonable (eg Tahhn-ya instead of Tan-ya) but is wrong, as it’s not what the person chooses. She just can’t “hear” it.

It could be rudeness, but I do it and in no way am I meaning to insult the person. For whatever reason names just don't stick. I try the "create a story" trick and all sorts but I still make mistakes.

Recently I had 2 students, for context one dark skinned the other light skinned, one short, one tall, completely different accents, and names starting with different letters, so about as different as can be but their names were just interchangeable in my head. They were nice and told me each time I muddled them. I am dyslexic and I wonder if that's something to do with it even though it seems like a different thing.

I’m exactly the same. Faces too. I have total face blindness.

I have ADHD and I wonder if it’s related.

There is definitely this trait in our family - dyslexia and difficulty accessing the right word sometimes. Speech therapist said if you view all your words as a hug set of drawers then in some people the pathways to the words are weak and they go to the drawer next to the one they’re aiming for. If you’ve got those students in your mind in drawers next door to each other, it will mean you say the wrong name.

I also find it hard to pronounce and retain syllables I haven’t heard before. It was years before I could say Keanu without someone saying it to me first. We had family friends who surname was Pross and I would say Cross and didn’t know I had said it wrong.

It makes me try a zillion times harder to get people’s names pronounced correctly and spelt correctly but I do still make errors.

I have a brain injury post brain surgery. No one can see it, but I always get names wrong!

With some mispronunciation it is either a power thing as mentioned, or subtle racism.

My little DDs name is always said incorrectly- for some reason people always want to switch the two middle letters around. It’s infuriating and I feel guilty sometimes!

Thats what I was thinking - so rather than rudeness it's just how her brain is wired

People always call me my sisters name and our names are not even slightly similar and no we don’t look a like either 🤷🏻‍♀️

My name is Laura. We have a family friend who I've known for over 30 years and she still calls me Lorna. Ironically she has a daughter called Laura herself so you wouldn't have thought it would be difficult to remember! I see her so rarely now it's not an issue but when I was younger it used to bother me a lot!

I have an aunt who has spelt my brother's name wrong her entire life! He spells it the most 'normal' way but she spells it in a way I have never ever seen! It's a name ending in '-or' and she spells it '-ey'!

Also, last week I had a parent consultation with my DD's teacher. Apparently DD is a favourite student of hers, yet she said her name incorrectly throughout our meeting! I couldn't quite believe it having taught her since September and having a lovely rapport with her!

*auto-co-wrong! DB spells his name with an '-ie' and she spells it '-ey'!