Parents do £70k of unpaid work in the home

[1Wanda1]

From an article in The Times today (have pasted a few bits as most people won't be able to read the article if I link it. This might be of interest to the many MNers whose partners seem to think they sit around doing nothing all day!

A separate study found British parents undertake £70,768 of unpaid work a year around the house and running around for the children.

It found that the average parent spends more than 100 hours a week juggling household tasks, from cooking and cleaning to ferrying children around and helping with their homework.

Parents were spending 29 hours a week cooking, preparing and serving food and drinks, ten hours playing with the children, the same amount of time driving on the school run, to activities, clubs and playdates, and nine hours giving advice.

I say this as someone who has been involved in these surveys ... they are crafted to generate big headline grabbing figures. Think about it... 100 hours, plus work (for most of us) When do they sleep, shower, go to the loo, eat?! Or is it a combined figure of two parents?

For your case OP, get an online food shop, do a load of washing everyday, then that will give you an hour or two back on Friday for yourself.

It's important because generally it's women who do it, and it highlights an imbalance given women also generally earn less in paid employment too. It's weird you find it weird not to think about tbh.

'At the least he would need a cleaner, gardeners and probably would live off takeaway.'

It sounds as if the only reason he'd need them is because he's lazy. People who don't have kids, or whose kids have left home, still have to do the bulk of this stuff, the cleaning, gardening, laundry, shopping, household admin. I don't think I know anyone who spends an extra 7 hours a day doing household stuff because they have kids.

It is a day off though. I’ve never got the issue with this. It’s a day where you’re not trying to do all the jobs on top of work.

I agree it should be recognised, I just think that this is an odd way to do so by putting a figure on it.

Can't we recognise domestic tasks as being the equal responsibility of men and women without having to quantify it with a salary equivalent? I don't see going to a child's parents evening or sorting out birthday presents as "work". OP even mentioned playing with children as part of the hours. They are nice parts of life with children and it just doesn't sit well with me to put a salary on it.

Paid work is valued more than unpaid work, and most unpaid work is undertaken by women. It's probably a good idea to consider how much that work is worth. I'd be interested to read about the calculations for unpaid carers.

See my above post. It's not that I don't think it's important. I just think this is a really weird way to go about discussing it.

I agree. The dismissive comments are depressing, no wonder women never really get ahead 😑

So people choose to parent and care for their dcs. That's the responsibility that people take on when they decide to have children. It's normal life.

I can't put a value on parenting my ds. And I don't see it as work, any more than getting dressed in the morning is work.

If you aren't making a point about SAHPs or unequal division of labour, I'm not sure what you are saying.

Not all of us live with crap lazy men.

You have a DH issue

@Nicecow I'm not being dismissive and completely agree it typically falls to women. However, to be taken seriously more realistic figures would have helped!

What do you do in the other 90-ish hours in the six days you spend on unpaid labour, then?

I guess it's somewhere to start a discussion. It's just like traditional female jobs that tend to be lower paid, why is that when they hold more skill and value - think nursing, caregivers, teachers etc. Why even in these roles do the managers tend to be men? If you look at these things closely it does make you wonder how "we" got here

@ThankmelaterOkay I wondered how long it would be before someone came along with this.

I don't work on 3 days. On those days I spend about 12 hours a day doing things for other people that I would not be doing if I didn't have those other people (my family). I'm very grateful to have them of course.

So that's 36 hours.

On the other 4 days I do 2 hours in the morning before work. Then about 4 hours in the evening. 16 hours.

During the "work day", while on my commute I do life admin stuff like booking appointments for people, the online food shopping, ordering birthday presents, etc. If wfh I will do laundry in between other things, or prep dinner if I can. So that's probably an hour a day. 4 hours.

So, ok, it's probably about 58 hours a week not 100. Fucking feels like 100 though, on top of 12 hour work days. Last night after putting DD to bed, I tidied up the house and then worked (in my actual job) until 11.30. I then woke up twice in the night with DD and started the day at 5.15am when she woke.

Honestly, I despair of this forum sometimes. You start a topic on something that seems of general interest and all people want to do is tear everything down. I'm off.

I agree.

Things like playing with children and going to parents evening are not 'work' and I am sad if they are thought of as so.

Obviously there is a problem that these things do fall largely to women a lot of the time. That is an important issue and I feel very strongly about equality in that regard and men as equal partners and parents.

But putting a number on something tht is basically just loving your children, and talking about as if it could be a salaried role, is unpleasant.
(I know people have nannies etc but still).

How on earth do people spend that much time on these tasks, particularly preparing, cooking and serving food? Nonsense!

I thought the same about the cooking and cleaning regardless of having kids … until my lovely teen left for university. Oh the freedom! I spend far far less time cooking and cleaning these days.

I agree, however, that if you have no choice in taking on a full time caring role, yes… that’s give plenty of food for thought!

But you're married @1Wanda1. Why are you doing all of it?

Got my maths wrong! Must be too exhausted to count properly. It's 64 hours on top of my "real" job.

Do you think people without children spend those 64 hours on relaxation and personal development?

Married to a workaholic.

Thanks OP. I actually find this interesting!

... but you would do the cooking, washing and cleaning anyway.

Who do you propose pays for all the housework to be done?

I agree with this. It's not only a weird way to look at it, it's also a bit sad.

I have a career and I get paid to work. I've never thought of cooking a dinner, bathing my child, taking him to the park, or washing his clothes, as work in the same sense. It's called having a family. When my husband is doing the dishes, changing his son's nappy, or getting the shopping for the week, I don't think he's totting up what he'd charge for the time if it was his working hours.

That way of thinking will surely lead to resentment.