Has anything good or bad happened to you that you never thought would?

frozendaisy · 21/03/2023 20:52

Buried my mum before she met any of my children.

And there's nothing I can do to change this.

frozendaisy · 21/03/2023 20:55

The good, the Mr is above and beyond what a husband and dad I thought possible in the modern age.

frozendaisy · 21/03/2023 20:57

Hope you ex steps up to at least be a co-parent OP. You shouldn't be a single parent but one of two parents whom no longer live in the same household.

peachgreen · 21/03/2023 20:58

I was widowed at 36. Honestly I still can’t believe it. DH and I were THAT couple – the gross one who lived in each other’s pockets and shared everything and were wholly and completely in love, best friends, soulmates, the works. It was blissful. My entire life had been about finding him, and once I did I was blissfully happy – even when other things were going badly I would comfort myself completely by thinking that I’d achieved the one thing I’d always set out to do in life – find and marry my perfect man. He died over two years ago and I still feel in complete shock. I’ve built a good life for myself and my daughter and I’m content in it, in my own way, but I will never get over losing him. Ever.

Macanncheese · 21/03/2023 21:00

I was a passenger in a fatal car accident and I fell 8ft and sustained a tbi and severely fractured skull waking up in resus was terrifying.

babytum · 21/03/2023 21:01

peachgreen · 21/03/2023 20:58

I was widowed at 36. Honestly I still can’t believe it. DH and I were THAT couple – the gross one who lived in each other’s pockets and shared everything and were wholly and completely in love, best friends, soulmates, the works. It was blissful. My entire life had been about finding him, and once I did I was blissfully happy – even when other things were going badly I would comfort myself completely by thinking that I’d achieved the one thing I’d always set out to do in life – find and marry my perfect man. He died over two years ago and I still feel in complete shock. I’ve built a good life for myself and my daughter and I’m content in it, in my own way, but I will never get over losing him. Ever.

I followed your threads at the time and was so shocked when your husband passed away. I can’t believe that was 2 years ago. I’m glad you are your daughter are doing well and wish you both the very best.

WinterMusings · 21/03/2023 21:02

peachgreen · 21/03/2023 20:58

I was widowed at 36. Honestly I still can’t believe it. DH and I were THAT couple – the gross one who lived in each other’s pockets and shared everything and were wholly and completely in love, best friends, soulmates, the works. It was blissful. My entire life had been about finding him, and once I did I was blissfully happy – even when other things were going badly I would comfort myself completely by thinking that I’d achieved the one thing I’d always set out to do in life – find and marry my perfect man. He died over two years ago and I still feel in complete shock. I’ve built a good life for myself and my daughter and I’m content in it, in my own way, but I will never get over losing him. Ever.

@peachgreen

I can't believe it's been over 2 years! It really doesn't feel that long ago.🌷💕

peachgreen · 21/03/2023 21:05

Thank you @babytum and @WinterMusings. I can’t believe it either really, it seems simultaneously a long time ago and hardly any time at all. We are doing as okay as we can be, DD is absolutely amazing – a happy, bright, loving, positive, cheerful little girl, I’m so proud of her.

redandyellowbits · 21/03/2023 21:05

I am a single mum too and really, really struggling with finances. I used to live in a nice house and take nice holidays, great double income life.

I left because he was abusive and although it was the right thing to do, I am struggling financially whilst my siblings and friends all carry on living that worry-free life. I never thought I would be here at nearly 50 years old and raising 3 kids on my own.

Legoandloldolls · 21/03/2023 21:10

Having 4 kids! I never wanted to be mum when I was younger. Having a disabled child.

Good, owning a five bed house ( need driven by 4 kids above!) Had to go about it in a very non conventional way. Otherwise I could never ever offorded such a house

Stepbumpstepbumpbump · 21/03/2023 21:10

peachgreen · 21/03/2023 20:58

I was widowed at 36. Honestly I still can’t believe it. DH and I were THAT couple – the gross one who lived in each other’s pockets and shared everything and were wholly and completely in love, best friends, soulmates, the works. It was blissful. My entire life had been about finding him, and once I did I was blissfully happy – even when other things were going badly I would comfort myself completely by thinking that I’d achieved the one thing I’d always set out to do in life – find and marry my perfect man. He died over two years ago and I still feel in complete shock. I’ve built a good life for myself and my daughter and I’m content in it, in my own way, but I will never get over losing him. Ever.

I relate to this so much. This is me too. Happened under 6 months ago and I just can't believe I'm living this life. I was 31 and suddenly on my own without my best friend, my support and my team mate. Parenting alone. Everything I thought the future would be has gone. It's hard isn't it.

Peckhaminn · 21/03/2023 21:12

I met the most caring man who loves me for who ai am and what I'm not.

BluebellBlueballs · 21/03/2023 21:13

I was that odd kid at school who couldn't make friends, and when I grew up I struggled with relationships too. It felt like everyone knew a language I didn't understand.

So how surprised was I to meet Mr Right at the age of 33 and now be settled down in a family with 2 kids?

I honestly never thought it would happen in a million years.

NoNameNancy · 21/03/2023 21:17

My baby daughter died after her delivery was botched. It never occurred to me that something like that could happen to me, in a well regarded hospital in the UK.

JamSandle · 21/03/2023 21:21

Losing my mum so young. I never ever saw it coming.

Being able to travel as much as I have. I'm so so grateful for the memories.

Christmascracker0 · 21/03/2023 21:22

My aunty who was like a second mum to me died from bowel cancer. The diagnosis came out of the blue in Feb 2019, she was fit and healthy, newly married and had just retired. Six months after she died my mum was diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian cancer! She has had chemo and surgery and is cancer free but it will come back and nobody knows how long she has. I know it’s not uncommon but you just never think it will happen to you!

Bananapants2022 · 21/03/2023 21:26

eowal · 21/03/2023 20:50

I am struggling to come to terms with being a single parent. I know it’s common but I spent a long time searching for the ‘right’ person and felt I hadn’t settled. Yet here we are. It’s been a couple of years and I still don’t really recognise myself living this life.

Yes, same here. ExH was abusive and I spent years wishing I could leave. Then I left and several years later I'm devastated at the life I've lost. Not in material terms, and I certainly don't want him back, but I miss the solidity of being a 'proper' family. Devastated that my life has gone down this track where most things are a struggle.

Pudmyboy · 21/03/2023 21:43

NoNameNancy · 21/03/2023 21:17

My baby daughter died after her delivery was botched. It never occurred to me that something like that could happen to me, in a well regarded hospital in the UK.

So very sorry to hear this @NoNameNancy , I hope you got support 💐

Fridayfeelingbeenandgone · 21/03/2023 21:43

NoNameNancy · 21/03/2023 21:17

My baby daughter died after her delivery was botched. It never occurred to me that something like that could happen to me, in a well regarded hospital in the UK.

Sorry you lost your baby girl. It is heartbreaking and devastating.The same happened to me with my baby boy. I lost him to an infection, which should have not happened.
Never thought my healthy baby would not survive an infection, which was treatable.

peachgreen · 21/03/2023 21:44

Stepbumpstepbumpbump · 21/03/2023 21:10

I relate to this so much. This is me too. Happened under 6 months ago and I just can't believe I'm living this life. I was 31 and suddenly on my own without my best friend, my support and my team mate. Parenting alone. Everything I thought the future would be has gone. It's hard isn't it.

Show quote history

Ah I’m so sorry. If it helps at all, it DOES get easier, I promise. At two and a bit years in I am coping a lot better and finding some joy and happiness again. My relationship with DD is incredibly special and I feel very blessed to have that. Things will improve, I promise. You’re in the worst of it right now.

thefirstmrsrochester · 21/03/2023 21:50

My DS was diagnosed with cancer last year and 6 months to the week of his diagnosis my husband left me and the family home to make himself happy. DS treatment was successful thankfully. But what a traumatic year 2022 was, I’ll never be the same again.

Good things, my DS health and I got a Labrador.

NoNameNancy · 21/03/2023 21:50

I’m so sorry @Fridayfeelingbeenandgone it’s devastating and happens far too often 💐

Kentlassie · 21/03/2023 21:50

My child died. I still find it odd sometimes to think I am in that club. Never in a million years did I think my life would pan out this way.

tunainatin · 21/03/2023 21:52

Having my two children. Silly as it may sound I had wanted children so much all my life and was convinced it would never happen. I met my husband quite late, and conceiving wasn't easy, had multiple miscarriages, but finally I have what I wanted and I still can't quite believe how lucky I am.

SpringViolet · 21/03/2023 22:36

Didn’t ever envision losing my much wanted and carefully planned for 2nd baby to such a rare condition that it went undiagnosed until 7 months of pregnancy and to have to make the decision of letting her die or live for a few weeks knowing there was no treatment. No one had ever heard of the condition. Still unheard of over 20 years later! That kind of thing used to happen to people I’d read about in magazines not me!

Couldn’t imagine two of my subsequent DC would be diagnosed with different totally unrelated life long disabilities, one from birth, one from age 12. One neurological so affecting quality of life and never living independently, and one a life threatening medical condition which again is not common, not something I would ever have considered my DC getting and we would have lost him within 24 hours if he wasn’t so bloody amazingly clever and hadn’t diagnosed himself!

Nothing genetic within mine and DH’s families and we both have very large ones.

I had no idea the whole of my close knit (on the face of it) family of 30+ members would ostracise me at the age of 40 because I finally challenged my mother about her abusive behaviour and even blank my DC who they’d all previously been quite close to until their early teens. If someone had told me in my 30’s that we’d be totally cut off by everyone and there’d be no one from my side at my DC’s weddings I would have said there’s no way that would ever happen!

One good one, I never thought DH and I would make it to 30 years together with all the crap we’ve had to go through.