Has anything good or bad happened to you that you never thought would?

[eowal]

I am struggling to come to terms with being a single parent. I know it’s common but I spent a long time searching for the ‘right’ person and felt I hadn’t settled. Yet here we are. It’s been a couple of years and I still don’t really recognise myself living this life.

oh god, my life was like a badly scripted soap opera for a good few years- one where you’d say “As IF all that shit would happen to ONE character!”… teen pregnancy, life threatening illness, affair (not mine!), divorce… and all before I turned 30.

But I also met and married my soulmate and have a wonderful family made up of children, grandchildren and my dream career to boot.

This was never the life I imagine did have- but I am blessed beyond measure in so many ways.

I never thought I would be widowed before I was 40 (for something you never hear of, there’s already 3 of us in this short thread).

Thank you. It's really helpful to hear that. I'm midway through some initial counselling sessions and starting to be able to talk about what happened without shutting down. I'm glad your daughter is thriving and there's some happiness in your lives.

it's the most bizarre, lonely thing to go through - you don't know quite where you fit in.

Good/Bad when we moved to France 17 years ago never imagined in a million years that xh and I would divorce after 42 years together and 40 years married.

Nor that he'd become an alcoholic.

Nor, that after coming across a complete load of arseholes on OLD I'd meet someone really lovely who's asked me to move in with him.

Life certainly has some surprises.

This is very trite compared to pps, so apologies - but having a cat. I had dogs growing up, and didn’t especially like cats, whereas my DP was the opposite. I was won over by MIL’s cats, and we adopted our own six years ago. I LOVE her so much, despite the fact she covers everything with white hair. She is so funny and clever, and my best little chum.

God, loads of things.

Never thought I'd get divorced from my first husband.

Never thought I'd have to fight for equal access to our DS

Never thought I'd fall in love again

Never thought I'd be a stepmother

Never thought my stepdaughter would estrange herself from us

Never thought my Dad would die from alcoholism at just 63.

Never thought I'd have the beautiful home I have now, or the son, husband, stepsons and gorgeous dog whom I love with all my heart.

Life is a rich tapestry and I have lived quite a life. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't damaged by it. In an ideal world my first husband wouldn't have turned out to be a manipulative narcissist and we would have had 2 children and lived happily ever after, but life rarely works out like that.

I try to count my blessings, of which I have many.

I was parentless when my eldest was 16wks old. I know my mum would have continued to dote on her and subsequent grandchildren. I just never believed she wouldn't be around to see them.
I also would never have believed that the boy who looked after everyone on nights out, made sure everyone got home safe- to the point his mates called him Mama would end up as my husband. He is very quiet, shy and introvert. I'm the polar opposite and I would never have believed we would end up together! Not in a million years! He is my calm though.

I didn’t do well at all at school. I had a second opportunity and I have GCSEs, and A levels all grade A, a degree and a post-grad. I never thought I was clever enough.

I've only read the first few posts and haven't RTFT yet - those sound horrific, I'm so sorry and I can't imagine living those situations.

Mine was struggling with fertility and losing three pregnancies. I did thankfully have a happy ending and now have a healthy 1.5YO, but I swelled on it for ages and can't imagine any of these circumstances 💔

Firstly I'm so sorry to everyone on this thread living through some truly heartbreaking times.
I've a few 'I never thoughts' of my own but guess the question is why do we think 'it' will never happen to us? Are we all conditioned to expect to sail through life? The alternative is a constant state of fear & anxiety I suppose.. which is how you live once you know 'it' can and does happen to people like 'you'!

My dad was diagnosed with aggressive Leukaemia just after I moved down to London. Thankfully the consultants in our home city are incredible and because of them my dad was still around to walk me down the aisle, see me become a mother and enjoy spending time with his grandson :) Nine years on from first diagnosis and one stem cell transplant later he's doing really well!

I was utterly convinced I'd never have children - I think it was because I wanted them so much that I was trying to protect myself? Had 2 kids after graduating - also wouldn't have thought I'd be married with babies as young as I was.

Definitely didn't think I'd be disabled in my 40s and still struggling to come to terms with that tbh.

I'm so sorry for everyone's losses. 💐 ♥️

Started out as a young teen single mum struggling so badly to get through an nvq on a training wage I lived in noodles for literally two years in order to complete my course and start my career.

Never though I would meet marry and have more dc.

Never thought I'd have the house I have which I absolutely adore

Never thought I would advance in my career finally after nearly three decades that I now own my own very high earning business within the sector.

I literally still have to pinch myself

I never thought I would lose two of my best friends to suicide and car accidents so young.

Being in an abusive relationship. I was a successful and independent young woman. I never thought it could happen to me. Actually since going through it I would say a lot of the women I have chatted to and been through similar were the same.

Developing a rare disease! It still feels astonishing to live with an illness I had never even heard of a year ago. But I am grateful for the internet meaning I can link up with people who also have it

Never thought I'd have DCs or see so much of the world.

Never thought I'd end up in an abusive relationship and not even recognize it as such.

@peachgreen

i was going to say that too, the very weird feeling of time passing, in some ways it feels like so long ago that you last saw them & hugged them, but also like it was yesterday.

its good to hear DD is doing so very well & that you've made a good life for you both.

Its so very hard, but he'd be SO proud of you 🌷

Yes bad and good. Lost two family members to suicide.

A few years later I won £500k.
Both life changing in their own way and have made me view life differently. So I feel like I have extreme downs and extreme ups !

I didn’t think I’d be lucky enough to meet a lovely man and get married but I also didn’t think he’d die in his 30s of the same illness that killed my 10 year old sibling. And I didn’t expect my eldest to be neurodiverse and on track to fail all GCSEs when I was a straight A girly swot. And I didn’t imagine I’d be yelled at for hours every week in my own home by a child I have tried so hard to bring up well. I silently agree with my DC now when they say they wish I’d died instead of him.

#livelaughlove

I never thought I'd end up terminally single and almost friendless and with all my children living abroad. I thought if I really tried to get over my abusive childhood I'd gradually get better and be able to cope with normal life.
As it is I can go entire weekends without speaking to anyone and I'm stuck thousands of miles from where I'd like to be because my savings in the local currency aren't enough to live on anywhere else.
In any case my crippling shyness wouldn't let me do most of the things I'd like to and I'd probably be just as alone anywhere else.

I'm so sorry for the lows/the bad ladies.

Losing my lovely husband at a young age. Going onto meet someone else and have children. Surviving an assault and still being able to have the career I was pursuing. Having the older generations of my family stick around as long as they have has been an absolute blessing.

Life can be so extreme and its unpredictability has left me with an almost permanent sense of my happiness being fleeting. I would say I live with a low level (usually) but ever present feeling of anxiety, based on a sad awareness that anyone I treasure or anything I value in life may be taken away from me in an instant. The bad times have made me grateful but have also taken that naïve innocence that let me be in the moment away.

Never thought I’d have a breakdown and suffer with poor mental health. In a much better way now, but I feel it will happen again one day. Before my breakdown, I’d never really considered my mental health.

Never thought I'd become a single parent living on benefits at 19. I was the school swot. Thankfully no longer in that situation.

Never thought I'd get cancer in my 30s. I fainted when they told me, I was so shocked. It's changed everything. Feels like there is no longer solid ground beneath my feet because all I can do is hope the treatment works but there are no guarantees.

Sister in law took her own life. Leaving my 2.5 year old nephew, my DB can't cope and it's causing problems throughout our entire family.